Nothing like some lovely lapidot

Cycle

Peridot POV
By the time we got home we were both pretty tired.
"What time is it?"
I take out my phone
"Not sure my phones dead"
"Well in any case I'm tired, we were out all day"
"Ready for bed then?"
"Let me shower first"
She quickly springs up from the bed and gets her stuff together. I take the chance to plug my phone in and start to get ready too.
Ding, ding, ding, ding
My phone started to go off the second it turned on.
Who the hell?
I grab it and open the messages. It's an unknown number but I'm sure I know exactly who it is.
"The park tomorrow at 6"
"Bring her"
"Make sure she'll talk"
"Hey?"
"You ignoring me pip squeak?"
Crap
I quickly text back
"My phone died I swear"
I toss my phone onto the bed and place as many pillows as I can over it. Even then I still hear the little notification.
"Do you understand?"
What's that even supposed to mean. I assume she's talking about bringing lapis tomorrow but even then I'm not sure if I'll be able to bring her. Let alone promise that she'll listen to her. This is it I'm going to die, I need to tell lapis and if she doesn't freak out and kill me first jasper sure as hell will.
I hear the water turn off and the shower curtain open.
"The one time she doesn't take an hour to shower"
I grab my phone
"I'll try"
I flinch as the phone goes off again.
"What do you mean try?"
"I mean I can bring her probably but I can't guarantee she'll stay"
"Then figure something out"
I groan loudly into a pillow.
"Um you okay?"
Shit lapis
"YES"
"Are you sure?"
"Well uhhh, got a minute?"
"Can it wait till morning? I'm kinda sleepy"
"Yeah sure"
She stares at me confused before sitting on the bed
"Alright let's talk"
"Wait what happened to talking in the morning"
"Knowing you, you'll stress over what ever this is and not get any sleep. Besides you've been weird for a while"
She grabs a pillow and hugs it to her chest.
Great she's made up her mind
"Do you remember when we got pizza that one time and there was this knocking but there was never anyone there?"
"Yeah? Did you see something when you went out side"
"Yes, now a little off subject but uh do you remember jasper?"
She hugged her pillow a little tighter
"How could I forget"
Her voice was cold
"She was the one that was there"
"Peridot?"
Damnit she's scary
"Yes?"
"Why was jasper at our door"
I tried to look at her eyes and read any emotions but she just stared at me blankly. She kept her words short and blunt. She is not happy
"That's gonna take some explaining"
"Then explain"
"Righhtttt, she sorta wants to talk to you. But that day I guess she chickened out and now she wants to talk to you tomorrow and I tried to tell her no but I got scared."
"And why does she want to talk to me?"
"She just kept saying that she needs you, I don't know what she meant but she's insistent"
Lapis drew a long sigh. She set her pillow aside and slowly scooted towards me.
"Uh lapis?"
I closed my eyes and felt her wrap her arms around me.
"I think I know what she means"
We sat in silence for a while as I listened to her steady heart beat.
"When me and lapis were together it was a constant back and forth. Sort of like a tug of war. We both struggled to be in control and keep each other in check but that didn't mean we still didn't need each other there. When ever I got that control I felt powerful and I think it was the only feeling of joy I had in that entire relationship."
"That's Not joy"
"I know but it was the only one we knew. Whether we cared to admit it at the time or not we both grew addicted to feeling stronger than the other and eventually craved it. When I left I felt really empty and tired, the feeling was gone and out of reach but I still wanted it despite knowing I was better off without it. We'd both go through that constant struggle just for a bit if it."
She held me a little tighter
"I'll talk to jasper"
"You will?"
"I have to make this sick cycle stop and this is the only way to do it. If I run away again she'll just find me, she's proven to be capable of that"
"Are you sure you'll be okay though?"
"I'll be honest with you I'm pretty scared but I don't think I'm that same person anymore. I have you and I don't need to be in control or scared anymore"
"I'll still be there though just in case you need a reminder"
"Yeah I know"