Nothing like some lovely lapidot

Relationships are hard

Lapis POV
    I heard the door slam as she stormed out of the dorm. Not long after I heard the car turn on and drive off. So she left, she really did it. I didn't know what was happening, why did I say that? Why was she so upset? Did I do something wrong? It's not my fault though. I never wanted this shit doesn't she know that I'm not in the best state right now.
You never told her.
    I felt my headache grow worse and worse as I thought about everything that happened. I stopped holding back my tears. They streamed down my cheek to my chin. There wasn't a sound besides the soft drip of the tears hitting the ground. Every time they hit the ground I felt another stroke of guilt.
You never told her anything
How was she supposed to know?
She was worried
You told her to leave
It's your fault
    I curled up into a ball on the floor and held my head in pain as I struggled to breath through the emotion swelling in my throat.
"YOU WERENT SUPPOSED TO LEAVE"
"Stupid peridot"
    I didn't have anyone to blame but myself but I still blamed her. It was just so much easier than to say you were right I'm sorry, I should've called, I shouldn't have gone, I should have listened to you. I fucked up I really did and your not here to help me fix it.
And it's all your fault
    I reached for my phone and stared at her contact. It was a picture of us, she was too shy to take one alone so she insisted I be there with her. I press call and hold it up to my ear preparing my apology in my head.
BZZZZT BZZZZTT
I look at the bed and spot peridots phone buzzing violently to my call. She must have forgotten it, and I don't know where she went.
    Why did she have to leave, I don't want to sit her waiting for her I don't know if she'll even come back.
She waited for you
Another wave of guilt rushed over me as I realized she probably waited for my calls while I was at aqua and they never came. Knowing her she didn't sleep hoping I would contact her but I never did.
"I'm so fucking pathetic"

Peridot POV
    More and more people come to the park as the weather conditions reach their peak. I should leave soon, a crying girl on a swing isn't what you want when you come to play on a sunny day. I don't know where I'm going though.
I sit in the car with the radio on a random station. I don't have a lot of options without my phone so the smartest option would be to get it back. But then I'll have to face lapis which I don't want to do. I look to the passenger seat and imagine her next to me. She always managed to fall asleep as long as the air was on and the radio was on her favorite channel. When she was awake she would ask questions about driving knowing full well she won't take her test anytime soon. I miss her.
Guess that settles it. I turn the car onto the road and start back towards the dorm. I'm already on the way home when I start to regret this decision.
She will still be mad and I have no plan, I don't know what I'm going to say or do and I haven't gotten over what she's said either. This is not a good idea and I'm already here.
I considered leaving when I noticed something through the window. It seemed like lapis was looking for me. Maybe not mad? I turn the car off and take several deep breaths before getting off. I can't turn back now so I unlock the door and open it slowly.
She stood there looking at me as if she wasn't sure I was real. I closed the door behind me and got closer.
"Why? WHY DID YOU LEAVE?"
How can she just ask that like she wasn't the one who told me to fuck off. Did she not even think about anything that happened or was I the only one that missed her.
"OH I DONT KNOW, MAYBE BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME TO"
I looked at her more angry than before. The nerve she must have to sit her and learn nothing.
"I didn't mean it"
I barely heard her when she said that. I looked closer and noticed that she was crying quite a bit.
"I didn't mean it, I was just mad at something and I took it out on you and I don't even know what the fuck I was even mad at"
At this point she was visibly shaking, her eyes were swollen and the room was a mess.
I got closer and pulled her into a hug.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have yelled, I should've called, I'm sorry I just don't know what I'm doing"
Her voice was barely audible and she hadn't stopped shaking. I sat her down on the bed and she hugged me tight.
"I'm sorry too I shouldn't have harped on you like that and I shouldn't have left"
"It's okay, I don't deserve you if you left I would understand"
"Lapis I'm not leaving you like that. I'll always come right back no matter what. Sometimes I just need to cool down"
I've never been in a relationship like this. I don't know what to do when I fight, I don't want to hurt her again but I can't just avoid arguments every time they come up. There's no one to help you except each other so what the hell do I do if we both don't have the answer.
"Lapis Im sorry you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to. Just let me know okay?"
"You should know what happens though"
"We are together but that doesn't mean we have to be on top of each other all the time, you can share what you want and I'll have to respect that. I'll still ask that you tell me though"
"Thank you"