An Outlet: Part 8

13 June, 2020.

The main head from the client's side does not recognise my efforts. Since I have never dealt with and he is only in contact with Tristan and Ursa, for him, these two are the ones who should be praised for a recent plethora of observations we made as a team. Technically, I was the one who gave most of the observations but this head doesn't know that. And by the looks of it, Tristan and Ursa didn't bother to mention it either.

Yes, that frustrates me. The people who I deal with have appreciated my work but I can't be sidelined like this when it comes to an overall project level, even if it is not intentional.

It's going to be difficult but I am going to have to accept whatever has happened till now. And because I do want my presence felt in something that I have spent almost 2 months on, I'm going to make it clear to both Tristan and Ursa that I want in on all the meetings where my sectors are involved/the discussion is for all sectors.

As I said before, I know that Tristan and Ursa didn't do this on purpose. But if Ursa isn't aware of it, then I'm going to have to let her know that. And for some reason, I feel like she'll realise what's been going on and will put my name forward if she knows how I'm feeling.

Tristan on the other hand, I'm not so sure. I've always gone back and forth with my opinion of him and what kind of relation I want to keep with him. Even then I can't deny that there have been multiple occasions where I have felt that he doesn't give a shit about the team members as long as the work is getting done. Even if he knows how much effort someone is putting, he does not feel the need to convey that to anyone. He is, without a doubt, the main asset for this project but the message that is conveyed is that he is the only reason why things are going well.

As the team lead, it is perfectly fine for him to be the main point of contact and be the one explaining our findings to the client heads but it is also wrong of him to not give his team credit for the praise he gets. Don't get me wrong, he does not strike me as someone who wants to intentionally hog all the limelight but he also seems to be doing nothing when something like this happens.

And for some reason I feel like he won't do anything about it even if I told him this. He will show that he empathizes but wouldn't be motivated to do anything about it.

I'll have to remind myself of this. I will try to explain my point of view to both of them indirectly, but I will not expect Tristan to do much.

Besides, I shouldn't be getting so worked up about this situation. It's really not a make or break situation for me.

I have to start shifting my main focus from my work to my studies/future career. No matter how comfortable I've gotten with this job, I know that I will have to leave it. And in order to do that, I need to make new options. I can already feel like I'm starting to do that.

I'm probably still going to feel angry about this situation when I get back go work on Monday but hopefully it'll be a little less by then.