Restless Wanderer (Zeke x Reader x Levi)

♕17: Deliberation♕

After two days, the cadets that survived the attack gathered the dead soldiers. Ashes were flying around as you emotionlessly stared at Marco's body. It was degrading and depressing to look at his half-eaten body. I could have saved him. The whole plan of breaking Wall Maria was Reiner's idea, but you allow them to do it, and built up the guilt in your heart. Whose side are you really on? Why did you help them in the first place? Is this how you pay back the place that gave you solace? You began to question yourself.

"Marco?!" You heard Jean from behind you. You gazed at him with your unexpressive eyes as he looks at his childhood friend's corpse full of aghast. He was trembling, and you could not bring yourself to comfort him because, with all honesty, you are responsible for the deaths of the cadets that you trained for three years.

"Do you know his name, Lance Corporal?" A woman with grey hair asked while holding up her list and pen.

"104th Cadet Corps, Marco Bodt." You answered without removing your gaze at Marco's body. The woman nodded and left.

"What do you think you're-" "This is no time for you to lament on Marco. We are trying to prevent an outbreak, Jean. Do you understand?" You monotonously cut him off. You started walking away when you heard mutter to himself.

"What could have happened to him?"

You headed back to HQ and went to the office of Erwin. You knocked on the door twice and entered his office without waiting for his affirmation. Erwin just finished organizing his things on his desk when he saw the downcast look on your face. You just stood there silent, biting your lower lip to hold back the tears that were falling from your eyes.

Without a second thought, Erwin walked up to you and pulled you in a comforting hug. You couldn't hold back your grief as you cried like a child on Erwin's chest.

"It's okay. I understand how you feel..." He said while keeping you in his arms while patting your back to comfort you with the best that he could.

"I trained them for three years!" You wailed. "I... I couldn't save them!"

"Death is what gives life meaning, (Y/n). Always remember that. Don't blame yourself now, okay?" He said as you slowly stopped crying.

"Hey, look at me," Erwin said, and you hesitantly gazed into his ocean eyes. Your eyes were puffy red.

"We have a step forward now. We have a titan shifting boy, and it's the boy you've been training. All those deaths will now be worth it. We just have to search for his father's basement where the all the answers lie." Erwin smiled and wiped the remaining tears from your eyes. You just sniffled at his statement as you wiped your nose. Realization hit you upon hearing Erwin's last sentence. Eren's father could be the doctor I bumped into almost six or seven years ago. He knew I am a Titan because I caught a glimpse of the future when I held his hand.

"Now show me your sweetest smile now, my little errand girl." He patted your head like he always does since you were a child. You gleamed your sweetest smile at him and followed him to meet Eren.

If only Erwin knew how you were lying to them and toying with them. How much effort you exerted to bury the real form and past. Soon your goal will be lucid.

You went down in a dungeon along with Erwin and Levi, where Eren was held. You thought to yourself. If you were the one transformed and plugged up the wall, will you be treated the same way as Eren or harsher?

"Isn't this a little too much?" You asked. "It's for extra precautions, brat." Levi mocked you emotionlessly. You clicked your tongue in annoyance. Eren's cell was at the dead-end of the dungeon. Erwin sat on a chair while you and Levi leaned against the wall. The atmosphere was intimidating as Erwin asked what Eren wanted to happen. You weren't surprised at how determined Eren was to join the Scout Regiment and drive out all the titans. The conversation ended with Levi agreeing to his wishes and threatening him if he were to screw up.