HeartBreak (Mello x Fem!Reader Fanfic) Revised Ver.

Chapter 14: Contemplation

✞ (Y/n)'s P.O.V ✞

We've been here in Los Angeles for 3 days now and everyday has been more of the same, eavesdrop on Misa or the task force members, follow them from a distance if they leave the apartment, so on and so on.

After Mello, Matt and I finished up for the day I decided to do some walking through L.A. Ever since I was a kid I've always wanted to travel around and see many places. But, not under these kind of circumstances... When I told Mello he gave me the usual 'be careful, don't talk to anyone, stay in areas with bright lights and lots of people' I've heard it all before. Would be nice if I didn't have to be worried about being attacked or worse, the bright lights and the night life of Los Angeles is something I could get used to. The streets around the apartment are rather unknown to me so I'm mindful of staying close by, the streets here in Los Angeles are like mazes as people pass by me on the street in a never ending wave as they go in one or in the other direction.

'I'd kill for a drink...' I think to myself as a bar catches my eye on the other side of the street, the name brightly coloured with a neon lit sign but since the drinking age here is 21 and I'm not even 20 yet, I won't be about to drink until I get back to London. The stress of all this detective work on the Kira Case has put my head in a spin, when I get home after this I'm going to need a strong one.

As I watch the people on the sidewalk pass by and the flashy cars speed past, it isn't until now I realise that I've been so preoccupied by my work on the Kira case that I've had no time to think about anything other than that. And god do I really need to sort some things out in my mind, especially my feelings.

'It's been how long... A week perhaps? Give or take, since Matt and I had reunited with Mello, since he's come back into our lives after so long...'.

My mind was clouded that day, when I stood in the doorway peering into the living room, I felt anger and relief, sadness and happiness. Tears threatened to spill as I pulled that stubborn blond into my embrace, and I had felt like my psyche was tearing itself apart.

Back then... I was so angry from Mello leaving Matt and I behind, for not having the guts to face us and say farewell himself. When he left the front gates and walked along the streets, to disappear behind the hill for me to wonder where he was going and if I was ever going to see his face again. I wanted to scream that day, and perhaps I did, but it was silent to everyone else's ears.

When the two of us were finally face to face again I promised myself... This was a job, this is an investigation. Nothing more and nothing less... But of course, my feelings had to crawl out of the woodworks and had to get in the way of the investigation.

A few nights ago, My mind wandered off to Mello and the investigation, about what kind of person he had become, what he had to do to get where he was with the Mafia and the Task Force. It wasn't like the other times though, I could feel my face heat up, my heart was beating faster as I felt ever so slightly sick to my stomach. It was a feeling that was familiar to me.

I had thought those feelings left me a long time ago, but I guess they never really did, not completely, even after all this time. Back then I thought it was because I was never good with people, though it seems like most of the kids why grew up in Wammy's aren't. That maybe I was afraid of commitment. That I was so caught up in my detective work that I had no times for pursuing any romantic interest in anyone. Maybe it is, but is it crazy to think it was because my heart still wasn't over the boy I had a crush on all those years ago?

'God, that sounds so childish when I think about it like that, like something out of a storybook...'.

Life is never so simple though.