15 years back in the backyard
(6years old)
"Run Brittney, go Natalie" my mom, dad, aunts and uncles all cheer for both me and Natalie as we add more speed and run faster.
Every Sunday the family would get together and we would play games together. It bought us even closer and seeing them all happy made it even more perfect. "Yaay, Brittney won" My father jumps up and down proud of my great victory. He then picks me up and puts me on his shoulder while praising his little favourite daughter. Me.
"Daddy, daddy why is Natalie crying?" I ask him while playing with my fingers and looking at young Natalie who is in mother's arms with tears in her eyes .
"She lost the race and you darling angel have won" he puts me down and ruffles my messy dark black hair.
"Must I say sorry?" I ask him again. I don't like it when she feels down cause then I also feel down. Daddy always taught me to love and protect her and for her to love and protect me. That's the definition of sisterhood.
"No, darling angel. In life you should lose and when you do get up and fight harder. Because darling angel losing makes you stronger, makes you challenging and makes you keep on moving" his ocean blue eyes looking back at me. Those eyes That I had always admired and found comfort.
"So when you lose darling angel promise me that you will never cry but will rather..."
"Get up and fight harder" we both say in unison and he tickles me on my tummy while we both laugh together.
Darling angel
Darling angel
Darling angel
"Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Don't go please. Don't leave me again" I reach out for him.
"Brittney, Brittney" Vally shakes me awake bringing me back to my senses. "Breath, breath, breath" we both take short breaths together.
"I heard him call me.. I could see him But he couldn't" tears fill my eyes as I remember my dad. My best friend.
"Brittney. Look your dad was not there. It's all just illusions" he tells me. I wipe my eyes and look at him. How dare he.
"Brittney you never did accept your father's loss that's why you..." He pauses and looks down. He has opened old wounds that I've been trying to stitch and The pain is more then before. "Hallucinating and overreacting. Illusions your words not mine" I finish off for him.
"No. You not crazy.. I understand its difficult to let go of someone you loved the most trust me I do" he takes my hand in his big one for comfort.
"I.. there's something I" my phone beats him to it as it rings.
"Hello" I answer and wait for the caller. I wipe my tears and stop the sobs. "Mabelle, how you doing?" Kevin asks me. "Okay and you" I say. He can never know what is happening. He'll lose his mind and come finish Vally off. "Good. Tomorrow I want to take you out for movies. Is it okay?" He chuckles after asking me.
"Sure" I say. It's date after date and tears after tears. "6:30pm sharp. Goodnight" he says and I just cut the call. I turn to find a serious Vally whose avoiding my stare.
"You were saying?" I ask him.
"Lets go home" he says and we both leave.
»»»»»
My alarm beeps for the tenth time. Turning over I press snooze and sit up with my back against the headboard. Thoughts of my father all fill my mind. My dad. He was actually calling me yesterday and it felt real. I swear I heard him But nobody would believe me.
Vally claims to understand but I know behind that act he thinks I lost my marbles. He has never lost someone close to him. His parents just left each other. He still has the chance to see them and smile at them. He still has the chance to hear them call him. He still has the chance to smell they hair. He has so many chances. While mines left for good. I can not touch or feel or even hear him. I never even got the chance to give him a fair goodbye. That's how unfair it is.
And that's why he'll never understand, actually no one understands the pain. No one understands the loneliness. No one understands the sadness. Nobody understands all those feelings like I do.
I can feel the tears coming but I need to be strong. He actually has a good point. I never did accept my father's loss. It's something that has been torturing me everyday. That thought of letting go hurts.
My dad would want me to accept his passing as that was his last wish. That would have made him happier I know. But I just can't. I will never let go not now not ever. If it means people thinking I'm crazy then screw them. Getting out of bed with confidence I walk to the bathroom.
I look at the mirror to find my face pale, my lips aren't pink like normal , my eyes are bloodshot red, the person on the mirror isn't me. Disgusted by my reflection I throw up everything that I had left in my stomach.
After that I wash up and dizziness takes over me so I sit down on the toilet seat. "Brittney are you okay?" Alex asks from outside the toilet door. Forgetting that he can't see me I nod in agreement. "Brittney, are you there?. Is everything fine" he asks again. I can hear the worry in his voice but I just don't care.
"I'm f.I.n.e" I manage to say. The room starts spinning and I see my father in the mirror looking down at me with worry on his face. This is what I have been running away from. The memories aren't just memories but also a nightmare.
"Papa. D.o.n.t.g.o" I say but no words come out just the movement of my mouth.I crawl as I have no energy left but before reaching the zinc I fall to the ground and Every thing goes black.
H/ N : who else feels sorry for poor Brittney😞
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Romance»»»» A young girl who has been through a lot in the past moves with her sister to another place. Every thing works out well for her until her water pipe breaks. Secrets are revealed , relationships are broken, friendships are betrayed and that's...
