𝑨𝒊𝒅𝒂𝒏/𝑭𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝑵𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒚 𝑰𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔

♡Flourish♡ (Aidan)

Trigger warning: Mentions of depression, depressive disorders, and thoughs of self harm. Read with care.

"Aidan, I have to tell you something, but I don't want you to worry." I say clutching the scrunchie that I refuse to take off my wrist.

"Of course, you can tell me anything? You didn't kill anyone did you?" He jokes trying to clear the thick air.

His warm smile making me feel comfortable, but still panicky, because i never wanted this to end.

I couldn't tell if it was just my asthma or that I was actually just having a panic attack.

"I'm not doing okay. I haven't been taking my medicine, and I haven't been going to therapy like I told you I was. What I was actually doing is driving around waiting for an hour to be up while listening to music." His smile doesn't change much, the only difference is he becomes more caring.

"How long has this been going on?" He asks looking over towards my full pill bottles.

"About a month." I answer honestly.

"Do you know why you stopped these things?" He asks me in the most comforting way he knows.

"It isnt easy to do these things. sometimes you lose hope and stop healing because its too much to bear, it just means I am so burntout, and tired of having to relive to heal."

"I understand, babe."

"Sometimes I lose hope taking my pills, and the voice in my head tells me "these can't fix a chemical imbalance, youre just gonna wanna hurt yourself again" My eyes start zooming in and out as my mind attempts to fog to avoid the pain, but it only makes me feel more confused than i was before.

"Sometimes I dont have the energy to reach out and grab that bottle to get myself out of this mess Aidan."

"I know, and that is one hundred percent valid, and I am sorry that you went through what you went through. I want to be here to help you as much as I can, so what were gonna be doing is setting alarms for your pills, and create a more stable schedule. I remember you mentioned the fogginess, so what were gonna do is make sure you have a steady sleep schedule."

"It's alot on a daily basis having to constantly reflect on what you should and shouldn't be doing."

"I know, we're gonna give you some time to have some compassion for yourself. You've been working so hard on your healing. You deserve this."

"Do I really? I feel like I haven't made progress at all."

"You deserve compassion and so much more. Let loose for once and celebrate how far you've come, babe." Aidan says before wrapping his arms around me tightly.

Again a short chapter, but I want to continue to bring awareness on the subject of depression, and all of the above.

This is my way of using my platform to give back to you all and remind you of how valid you and your emotions actually are. I dont care who you are or what proggress you think you didn't make, you are a fucking star, and you can do anything.

Even if you just got out of bed this morning, I am proud of you.

Even if you just simply brushed your hair or took care of yourself today, I am so proud of you and you should be too.

Much love,

Your author.