Sex Bucket List • Tokyo revengers

Part 3 - Chapter 23

There are some people I can spend an entire day in silence with without ever getting uncomfortable, like Hina or Draken for example. 

Well, let's just say Sanzu is not one of those people.

We haven't said a word to each other since we got in his car and the silence inside the vehicle is slowly suffocating me. 

Usually, the absence of conversation wouldn't bother me, but my thoughts are especially loud tonight. They're the only thing I can hear. They keep swirling inside my head, not giving me a break.

I want to pretend that what happened with Rindou was all just a figment of my imagination. But my cruel mind doesn't let me forget. Not even for a second. I see it every time I close my eyes, the hurt in Rindou's eyes when I told him I didn't like him. The way his features shifted in and out of surprise, confusion, rejection, anger, pain, as if I'd reached into his chest and ripped his heart out. And I wish my mind and heart would just shut up, shut up, shut up. 

I glance at Sanzu. His gaze is impassive as he stares at the road ahead of him, holding the stirring wheel with one hand only.

I extend a hand toward the car stereo and ask him, "Can I put on some m-"

"No," He refuses without even letting me finish my question.

"Okay..." I mumble, slowly dropping my hand back onto my lap.

I sigh and turn my head to the window. Tapping my fingers against my thighs, I start quietly humming the tune of 'Me and your mama' by Childish Gambino.

"Stop that," Sanzu orders, and I immediately stills, clamping my lips shut.

Heaving another sigh through my nose, I reach up and I'm about to pull the sun visor down to check my makeup in the rear-view mirror when Sanzu speaks again, "Don't."

I cross my arms over my chest.

"Is there anything I can do?" I ask him, my voice laced with annoyance.

"Yes, you can shut up until we get there." He responds while keeping his emotionless eyes on the road.

Damn. This guy truly hates me. I already knew that, but still, I can't understand why.

He seems to be convinced I will be Mikey's undoing while my only goal is to help Mikey. At the end of the day, him and I are more similar than he thinks. We're both loyal to Mik-

"Take a picture it'll last longer." Sanzu interrupts my train of thoughts, glancing at me sideways and catching my gaze.

I hadn't even realized I had been staring at his side profile for a good minute now.

Instead of averting my gaze, I continue eyeing him. 

He has the longest eyelashes and the bluest eyes I have ever seen. His pink hair wouldn't look good on just anybody but somehow, he pulls it off. The colour even compliments the rosy scars on the corners of his mouth. They're in the shape of a triangle.

Weird shape for a scar. It looks almost... man-made.

The thought shoots a shiver down my spine.

Sanzu glances over at me again. My gaze quickly travels from his mouth to his eyes, but not quickly enough, and when he speaks, it's clear he's aware I have been staring at his scars. 

"They're really fucking ugly, huh?"

"No." I immediately disagree. "They're not ugly at all."

His breath exhales on a bitter chuckle,  "Yeah, right."