The Alpha and Me

38. How Do I Cast You Away, Alpha?

Enjoy reading 😉😉😉

Alpha Manik's POV

"You have no idea how difficult it is to stay between creatures other than your own kind. I miss my country and my people." I figured she meant Humans as her people for she didn't come across even one human since she settled here in New York with us.

She jerked me into a state of shock, and as I struggled to emerge, another cocooned me while she continued.

"You have no idea what goes through my head everyday, Alpha Manik. I go to sleep with fear engulfing my nerves. I wake up with wide eyes from nightmares. I am always scared and hoping that I don't get attacked by rogues. There's always a feeling that someone is following me." Her voice was fragile and shaking.

Something compelled me to tell her how much I thought about her. About her mental health and state of mind. It was long back that I accepted that she was brave to be living between creatures like me. Other humans would have died long since but she is here living with us. She has made a name for herself as one of the medics of my pack.

I can't describe how wide my chest swells each time I see her going out with Raghav and his team on medical hunt, and to cure injured wolves. She is strong and her resilience made me kneel and bow before her, if anything, it should have been her kneeling for me.

"I pray to go back to my world where there are humans. Where there is peace and where I can breath freely without feeling under restrictions. But you know... I have no where to go. I have no family, nothing. I am useless... I am alone." Her voice cracked and at the same time the sound of her diminishing body hit my ears.

Immediately I knelt by the door and pressed a hand on the barricade. She was right there, just a few inches away, parted by this door and I could do nothing.

I heard her sob and clench her teeth, "I thought it would be easy to adapt here but with your presence, I feel sick. You make me hate myself, disgust myself and feel like killing myself. Staying away from you was my motive but everyday I find myself in your arms. But at the same time I love it when you do dirty things to me. When you kiss me, hold me, shove me against a wall and touch me... I feel loved and wanted. But i know it is temporary. I know it is wrong. How do I stop it, Alpha Manik? How do I cast you away when you don't listen to me or my plea in the first place."

I withdrew my hand and moved away. As if providing her some comfortable space, I crawled away but still on my knees.

"I want to be your plaything." She screamed and my heart missed a beat.

If only she could see what she's made me do, she would know how madly I was enticed by her.

I, an alpha, was sitting on my knees in front of the closed doors of her bedroom.

Raw exasperation ran through my veins. My heart hammered in my chest as my wolf grew frustrated. She was insulting us continuously... Notwithstanding I sustained quietly. She needed to let it out, say it out, so that there was nothing in her heart, or anything I was kept from.

"Go on, I am here." I said in order to inform her that I was still here listening to her.

"Alpha Manik," Eyelids fell before my gaze as I focused on her soft yet shaky voice. "You are a wolf and wolves lose interest easily. I am afraid I will be discarded sooner than expected if we ever start dating."

That's not true. She was still sticking to the irrational consequences that have no chance of taking place. Except, I didn't get an opportunity to subside them from her mind.

Nandini won't stop opening her heart out. She was making use of her time. She was proposing each abd every thought she had.

And honestly... For the first time, I felt I made a mistake by allowing her to speak because every word she spoke hit me like a whip on an already wounded back.

"My virginity keeps your interest in me, doesn't it? Once you have it, you'll kick me out of your life. Alpha Manik, there is no future. Not that I want one with you. You are a wolf.... You are not who I want for a partner. I want someone like me, a human. Someone who can die after living peace decades in life. I want a mortal... A gentle man... Not a ruthless wolf who's going to live years and years until a wooden dagger punctures his heart or rogues attack him during a war." My chest tightened at how humiliating it sounded to my ears.

I felt claustrophobic and my wolf went into a sculpture mode. With my eyes sweeping to the ground, I got up on my feet.

"I don't want to be with you, Alpha Manik, please release me from your obsession." She said, sounding like she was begging to a tormentor for her life.

My eyes found the door. I stared at it as if I was staring her face. I could picture her diminished figure curled up against the door as she said those words all helplessly. I imagined her gasping for air, her face pale with fear.

""If I ever gave you the feeling that I desired you, ignore it. My body was responding to your skilled fingers and lips, not me. You are aware of your skills and no girl would be able to avoid you. Neither could I, otherwise I never intended to give you any wrong hints." I take that was her closure remark as afterwards I never heard anything coming from the other side of the door.

My chest was burning. There was an irritating heat igniting out of my skin. I fisted my fingers so as to refrain myself from breaking through her door.

I was about to announce an assurance that she would never see me again as a lover, "P-please, don't make my stay difficult in your mansion, A-alpha." when her horrified whisper broke through the creak under the door.

It's only then I realized Nandini was fucking terrified of me.

So terrified that I could feel the ripples of her quivering body hit me alongside air as winds rolled over.

That moment I felt completely blank, completely stupid and dumb. I didn't know what to do.

"I... Nandini, you are, ugh, damn it!" Being at loss of words as well as peace, and feeling rejected, I spun around.

Shifting into my howling wolf, I leapt out of the window out in the twilight as gray clouds hovered up in the sky.

She wants me to set her free from my obsession? Be it.

She's terrified of me? I'll make sure she feels safer in my pack.

She thinks a human for a life partner is better than me an Alpha wolf? I'll give that to her as well.

Tbc...