INSIDE THEIR MINDS

Happy

Phil

"What would make you happy?" I ask her, now sitting back against the wall entangling my fingers with hers.

"That's an odd question." She answers softly.

"Of all the things to happen to us tonight that is the least odd" I say to her, my eyes now closed as I let my head fall back.

"Well, I would say I'm pretty happy now." Her words said one thing but the way she said them told another story. They held a weight on them that I couldn't quite understand. They came off as sluggish, as if they are a little white lie that she had repeated so many times she willed for it to be true.

"Are you?" I can't help but ask.

"Well, I work a lot, doing something that I am very passionate about. I have plenty of time to myself to enjoy my several other interests. What's not to be happy about?"

I stayed silent for several minutes, leaving her question unanswered. I haven't been happy in quite a long time though I had all of the materials for a happy life, it was as if the pieces didn't quite fit together anymore. If my life was a puzzle, right now it would be sitting atop a card table, a mess of indistinguishable colors and shapes.

"What could be done to make you happy?" She asks me obviously wanting the focus to shift off of her.

"I honestly don't know anymore. I mean I enjoy my job. My coworkers are very friendly, my business is booming, and though I am tackling many amazing projects, I'm still not happy."

"Not to intrude on your personal business but you mentioned you and your wife we having marital problems, what started them?" She knew that my problems had nothing to deal with my work, the indiscretion we had just had was proof of that.

I left her question unanswered again. Not because I didn't want to tell her but because I honestly didn't know myself.

Kate

I understood why he doesn't  answer my overly intrusive question. I'm a stranger, why would he? It also honestly isn't  my business to know, but he seems torn up, damaged even. On television he is a completely different person, he is charismatic, happy, excited, even hyper at types. The man sitting before me broken, quiet, a shell of the person I thought I had come to know. I once read how much he makes in a year, those celebrity salary lists always floating around, and I guess he's proof the saying is true, money can't buy happiness.

"It's alright, you don't have to share anything with me." I say quietly, trying to give him silence, if that's what he wants ,and also the ability to back out of the question if he so chooses to.

"When it comes to Erica it feels as if we aren't in a relationship but rather just coexisting under the same roof.I love her but not in the way you should love your wife. We just aren't compatible, not  anymore."

I can hear the true sorrow in his words. He isn't crying, or at least as far as I can tell in the dark, he isn't. I am now more understanding of why he wants me, and it seems like it may not have been for just a one night stand but rather to feel the connection he has lost with his wife.

I can't  fill that void for him. I can't be his replacement for his love lost.

"Have you told anyone about this?" I ask slowly rubbing my thumb against his index finger.

"I have now."