INSIDE THEIR MINDS

Bonding Time

Phil
When I woke up the next morning I wasn't surprised to find that her side of the bed was empty. She had always been an early riser and every morning like clockwork she went out for her morning run.

Begrudgingly I forced myself out of bed and made my way over to the windows lining the opposite wall of our bedroom.

I spread the blinds open as far as I could to get the best view possible of the lake seemingly hovering below.

Lakes had always had a calmed effect on me and now it was no different. It was as I spotted my boat hitched to the side of the dock that I decided I needed to play hooky today; I needed time to think.

Without even dressing in proper clothes I headed downstairs to the mudroom, but then I ran into Julia.

"Hello, sir." She says holding my son on her hip.

"It's Phil." I reminded her with a smile. "How's my boy doing?"

"He's great s--, Phil. He had a large breakfast and now we are off to go to the park, unless you wanted him?" She asked me as she was making silly faces at my son and he responded with giggles.

"Would you mind if I take him for an hour or so?" I ask.

I had not planned to take him today, but hey a little daddy, son time is never a bad thing.

"How about you take an hour break, do whatever you wish. I will text you when I am ready for you to take him back, sound good?" I ask.

"Sounds great to me." She says as she hands him over to me, but he wouldn't let go of her.

"Hey little guy how about you go to daddy. He loves you." She says in a soft almost baby voice.

Then he looked at me with a smile and waved at me as he continued to grab on to her sweater unnecessarily.

"Come to daddy little one." I say to him in a similar voice she had just used.

Then he reached for me to grab and I couldn't help but smile.

It was as I was holding my son in my arms that I truly realized what was happening in my life, and what wouldn't happen.

I wouldn't see my baby girls first steps , or rock her to sleep at night. I won't help her through her nightmares or take her to the playground like I had done for my son. She was my daughter and it physically hurt me that I had already missed so much even though she hasn't even been brought into the world yet.

My sons smile had helped calm me, but only slightly. I walked us over to his giant playroom and watched as he instantly stood up, by himself, and walked over to a row of his toys.

I have already missed out on so much with him and we live under the same roof, how will I ever make time for my daughter?