INSIDE THEIR MINDS

Realization

Phil

Her breath tasted of candy and liquor, a stinging flavor I had become unfortunately used to. Her hair instantly became multiple shades darker under the fall of water and lost its salon sheek shine, something I knew she hated people seeing including me. At this point apparently that didn't matter as she had stepped into the large shower beside me and let the falling water coat her body.

Though she was very obsessive over her every physical "flaw", to anyone else she was gorgeous. Her perfectly fake blonde hair, expensive choice of clothing and paticular taste in fine everything else she was more than high maintenance and I was over it. As a man, a beautiful woman is a beautiful woman but who said that make up and a 400 dollar dress is what makes them beautiful? In her mind that's all neauty was to her now, but she is wrong.

Showering with her now really brought back the good, no great, time between us. It made me recall the endless amazing talks together, the places we had traveled, the limitless games we had played with one another and it was the happiness between us was what made our relationship great not the money. At one point I was even secretly living with her and her parents because I was so broke and she still had loved me, if that were to happen now I'm not sure that would be the case. It was months ago that I realized that I love her for everything she isn't anymore.

She planted another kiss on me but when she noticed I barely responded she turned right back to kissing my neck. It instantly, regrettably, turned me on again and after less than 30 seconds I was hard and her hands were all over it.

Kate

Noticing that I was scheduled to work in just two short hours I got up and walked straight from my bed and into the shower. I let the scalding water burn at my skin until eventually it became a temperature I could withstand but even then I didn't wash myself, I just stood under it's uneven stream.

My eyes caught in a crack in a white tile near the showers head and I felt entranced by it. This imperfection had been there since the day I had moved in nearly five years ago but it wasn't until now that it truly bothered me. I have never made plans to fix it or even had it looked at, it was just always there. Was this ability of mine to cheat and lie and be spontanious always there I just hadn't really noticed until now?

This whole sex thing with him was the most amazing and reckless thing I have ever done, do I have to put that self behind me and continue to live on as this boring, over worked robot?