INSIDE THEIR MINDS

All I Wanted

Derek
The second I saw her walk through the front door I could tell she was already drunk. Thankfully she couldn't see me, for I was with some customers.

I watched her carefully, almost messing up my customers order, as she sat down at the bar already requesting the bartender for a drink.

I was surprised he was even serving her at all but then again Henry always did have a thing for pretty and wealthy women. And she was both of those, sort of.

Her bright blonde hair had now faded and was a washed out dirty blonde color and much more messy now than it had been, but I guess now so was she. Without even seeing her purse I know she was carrying the most expensive one she has, it has been her new norm, if you look the part, then you are the part.

I know she would be getting a large amount of money from Phil, but that didn't really concern me anymore. None of her buisness is mine anymore, I don't love her anymore.

I couldn't help but look at her flattened stomach and think about what might have been. About how now she would be close to five months pregnant, but I can't blame her for what happened. I knew that there was a possibility that it could; She had had a miscarriage before. She told me that the second she found out she was pregnant. I don't have much for family and after all of this I am not sure I ever will.

-----
[30 minutes later]

I couldn't help myself, I had to go over there and stop her from drinking.

"Oh there you are." She slurs while batting her eyelashes at me.

"Come on we need to get you home." I said as if I was her father and she was a rebellious teenager acting out.

"No! I wanna stay!" She whined.

I look to Henry behind the bar and he just shrugged his shoulders and tapped on his watch.

I look to the clock and see that it is almost 8pm. Erica is drunk. at 8pm. on a Wednesday.

"Come on you know I will take good care of you." I lied.

"Awe, that's all I ever wanted." She slurred again as she swung her legs over almost kicking over the chair beside her and eventually landing on her feet.

"Ok. Ok." I said letting her lean on me as I guided her to my car.

I look again to Henry and he knows I will be back in 20 and to cover my tables, something I have done for him numerous times.

----
"Come on sweetie." She pathetically and drunkenly begged as she started groping me the minute we arrived in her apartment.

"No Erica! You know what you did! Now go to bed!" I said pointing to her bedroom.

"You know I didn't mean it!" She yelled at me, as she sat on the floor of her very small kitchen next to her fridge.

I got out a cold water bottle for her and unscrewed the lid then handing it to her as she almost tipped it over onto herself.

"I really am sorry. It would have been nice to have another baby." She mumbles between sips. "I shouldn't have blamed you or yelled at you or said you couldn't support us or anything!"

She waved her arms around almost spilling the water again.

"Ok Erica." I said extending out my hands to her. "Time to go to bed."

----

It was on the drive back to the bar that my mind subconsciously ran over everything that had went on with her.

After her and Phil legally seperated everything that happened after took a major toll on her.

Phil and her seperated after we were both we bailed out of jail. It was agreed that she had two weeks to move out and that he would pay for her place until the divorce in which she would get half of his personal assets, a whopping 4 million dollars.
Until then she would have to support herself excluding bills and food.

For close to a month things were fine between us. She wanted to have her own place and that was fine with me. We spent time at both my place and hers and honestly I felt very happy and I thought she was too. She was out of her unhappy marriage, she didn't have to hide me anymore, and she could just be herself. But I guess I wasn't enough.

At first I thought it was the pregnancy hormones and tried not to blame her for any of it, but then things got personal.

I clearly remember her yelling at me about how poor I was, then I got a second job at the bar. Then she would yell at me for her being sick, saying it was my fault she was pregnant and feeling like crap. Then once she lost the baby she blamed me for the opposite saying it was my fault she lost it and that I didn't deserve to have a baby if I couldn't take care of it. It scarred me, her words pulled me apart at the seams. I dumped her that night and ever since then at least twice a week she stumbles into the bar waiting for me to save her.