Russian Roulette

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Always Try

---Isador---

Isador happily held Aleksei close, rubbing his back softly whilst giving a gently swaying. "I love you too love..." He felt proud of Aleksei, and the longer he held him the better he himself felt. He felt wonderful knowing that Aleksei trusted him enough to allow his walls to crumble and give way. No one was invulnerable to the stresses, worries... well to the hell that was and always will be life. Every bit of Isador wanted to give Aleksei the whole world. He wanted him to feel safe and happy, and most of all loved. He never wanted those feelings to fade from Aleksei. He wasn't sure how he'd accomplish that quite yet, but that was a goal he set himself on. Fed or not, he loved Aleksei.

Isador thought for a moment on what he would say. "I believe... you could... You could get out and away with the right amount of help. Keep low... It couldn't be a quick exit, it'd need to be slow and well thought through. I... I'd be more than willing..." Isador wasn't sure how much help he'd be, but he had a phrase his mother had once told him. 'Always try, because if you never try you will never know.' A small pang of pain appeared in his chest, and he pushed it deep down as hard and fast as he could. Slowly a smile appeared on his face as he repeated a part of his thought aloud. "Best to try, after all if you never try..." He paused a moment and whispered, "You will never know." Was Isador attempting to convince Aleksei to leave the mafia? Yeah, he believed he was trying to at the least... After all, he really would do anything just to see Aleksei smile.

---Aleksei---

"If you never try, you will never know." Aleksei repeated but he didn't smile back, he didn't seem hopeful. It was something else in his voice, an emotion that wasn't exactly pin pointable, "thank you Benji, I will have to think about this." Aleksei said before finally pulling away from Isador's embrace and nodding towards the bed, "we should..get some sleep." he added with a wary smile before he moved to lay back down on the bed and he cuddled against the covers, he still kept an unintentional distance between himself and Isador. He didn't mean anything by it, he just needed to think about this, but as he started to drift off more he began to ask new questions, not, 'how would he do this?' but instead, 'Have already been planning this all along?'...the thoughts clouded his mind and he sadly didn't interact with Isador the rest of the night.

Soon, he slowly fell asleep after his body shut down on him from the mental exhaustion. He'll hopefully feel back to whatever normal is in the morning.