Russian Roulette

Chapter Thirty-Six: Misstepping

---Isador---

Isador would never have to be asked twice when it came to cuddles with Aleksei. Even on an animal and drug filled plane, he'd happily snuggle up with him. He shifted his weight a small bit, "Most likely. I'm sure this gets stressful..." Isador motioned to the other cargo on the plane, a smile appearing on his face as Aleksei rested his head.

For majority of the flight Isador was quiet, lost in thought. This was the strangest way he'd flow, but at the same time it was almost the nicest. He definitely couldn't complain about how close it had Aleksei and himself. The type of happiness Aleksei had Isador feeling was one that he never wanted to lose. Ever. When Aleksei went into the cockpit to talk to Micah, Isador found himself looking at the liger. A magnificent beast. Just a bit ol' cat. *You can't touch it either, so just don't try.* Redirecting himself, he stretched. It felt a bit nice to have room to move. The longer Aleksei was in the cockpit, the more anxious Isador got. He also didn't like being alone in the back of a cargo plane. When Aleksei emerged, Isador greeted him with a smile. He nodded and listened as Aleksei spoke.

Getting off the plane certainly made Isador feel better. During the car ride however, Isador sat silently and tried not to seem uncomfortable. He definitely was still getting used to people being so open about themselves...especially the crime part of their life. *Although this man was incredibly open about everything...* That was all still pretty new. He actually did his best to also stay focused on what the man talked about. He wouldn't report this back, that wouldn't do much for anyone. Once he laid eyes on the hotel, and his focus was lost. Oh it was gorgeous. Isador smiled at Aleksei. *A house with the same vibe, eh? A home, gorgeous and full of life... who wouldn't want that? A man involved with the mafia, that's probably who.* Isador shook his head a little, quietly following Aleksei.

"An admirable vibe to want in a house, love." Isador broke his little silence, his smile didn't falter. And he meant it, too. So far this place made Isador feel even more relaxed, and he enjoyed the lively feeling he also got from the scenery and greenery. Isador couldn't help but feel even more strongly towards his initial feelings he had gotten when he first met Aleksei, in the bakery. The big bad mafia man who was an alleged killer--a mafia hound dog for feds-- who seemingly got nearly destroyed by the small order of robbing the bakery. *It was not small for him, Isa...* That wasn't something any of the other members showed towards really anything. And the jabs at Aleksei some of the members did after that... Isador felt a ping of anger then, hiding it behind his soft and kind smile. He hoped Aleksei wouldn't catch that little flicker of emotions.

"I wouldn't mind sharing... after all, being with you in general has been the best way to relax and rest that I've had in a long time... Minus the times of running into armed guards." Isador watched Aleksei make his way over to one of the beds. He couldn't help himself from taking in the wonderful sight of Aleksei becoming less clothed. "Aleksei, why don't you... have a house? It's... it's not like you lack the funds..." He spoke quickly and in a more broken pattern. He felt he already knew the answer, but he wanted to hear what Aleksei's thoughts were.

---Aleksei---

Aleksei laid on the bed contently, "admirable? No, it's just peaceful is all. After living a life like this, peace is...welcoming...." he seemed to trail off as he went silent, did he want to say more? Probably, just not outloud. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes again, his eyes quickly flickered over to Isador and he was able to relax once more.

Of course he was going to agree to sleeping in the same bed, they were inseparable at this point and he knew exactly what Isador meant, ever since Aleksei has met Isador, he has felt more confident, accepted and loved. The way he cherished this man, he wasn't able to put into words. His brain would get foggy and his tongue would tie anytime he tried. He took a deep breath as he thought about it, what to say? What to say? What to say? But before he could speak the words, Isador asked a question and he froze in the bed silently, why doesn't he have a house? There are many reasons why. Aleksei began to chuckle, then laugh...not the good kind of haha laugh either, this was a laugh of pure pain and regret, a laugh to fight the tears.

"I'll feel lonely." was the only answer he gave before turning around and burying his head under the pillow. The silence from him was eery, you couldn't hear his usual soft breathing unless you were right under him, as if he were purposely holding his breath or maybe he couldn't breath at all, it felt stuck, he felt stuck. His heart began to beat like he ran a thousand miles, his chest began to pain as if his ribs were being caved in, fuck, he only asked one question. Why was he having this reaction? Aleksei already knew the answer to that, he hated himself and the thoughts he had while being alone only validated his want...that want for peace. Before Isador, Aleksei would need a couple bottles of whiskey to help him when it came to avoiding this breakdown but after Isador, Aleksei couldn't even think about it, all he could think about now was, 'What is our ship name? What is his pet name? What's his favorite food?' but unfortunately that simple question made him want 10 bottles of the hardest crap you could find.

Wait...Isador was there, pull yourself together dude, don't ruin this experience for him. Aleksei took a series of deep breaths before pulling himself from under the pillow and he smiled at Isador, though the smile didn't quite reach his eye.

"Honestly, because I'll get lonely is one reason for sure, but a house...that isn't for a guy with mafia ties. You'll constantly be afraid to go home, you will never know who will be waiting for you there, maybe the law catches up to you, maybe a rival. At least with my brothers and sisters at home, I know I'm safe. I keep them safe, they keep me safe." Aleksei gave a blant answer as if he didn't just have a mental breakdown like 5 seconds ago but that is his job, playing a character and his character could not be weak. That was a misstep.