heart like yours (jennifer jareau)

4. twelve

AN: hi guys! happy monday!!

welcome to delilah's birthday!!

as you can imagine she's a psychotic bitch this chapter soooo have fun with that :)

i'll be back on the 14th with the next chapter yay!! i hope you guys enjoy and i'm so so sorry about the trigger warning list i just wanted to cover every base lmaoooo

TWs:
birthday trauma
mentions of death and murder
mentions of rape and torture
elliot is mentioned
so are dylan and elijah
drug use
delilah is not having a good day
when is she ever ultimately?
consensual violence
knives are mentioned
so are blood and scars
she's giving emotional traumatic wreck who is also a sadist except she doesn't want to kill anyone except herself rn
which she obviously isn't gonna do
bitch just turns her emotions on and off like a light switch instead

yikes :)

also i'm just gonna preface this by saying it might not make sense why delilah does something this chapter but trauma doesn't make sense to anyone except the traumatised person. this is just to kind of show that she will always find peace in death more than she ever will in another human because the damage is done and she is a sadist even if she wont always admit that, and no amount of peace with jj is going to ever stop delilah from feeling this way completely.

with that being said, welcome to the shit show that is delilah bellerose's life :))))

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"stars are not small or gentle. they are writhing and dying and burning. they are not here to be pretty. i am trying to learn from them." - caitlyn siehl

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A year ago, Delilah murdered her father. Seventeen years ago, now, her father murdered Dylan. Thirty years ago today, Dylan Hart and Isobel Milner were brought into this world.

Nora would tell them that Dylan didn't stop screaming from the moment he was born. It made the doctors declare he was a little fighter, a brave baby making himself known in this big terrifying world. He did not settle for his mother, or his father, or a nurse. He refused to be fed.

Baby boy Hart screamed his throat raw until the moment he was set down in the hospital nursery beside baby girl Milner.

Violet would tell them that Isobel hadn't made a single sound when she was born. It was like she hadn't realised she'd left her mother's womb. The doctors thought she was born dead she was so still and quiet and calm. She did not make a sound for her mother, or her father, or her siblings, or the doctors. She refused to be fed.

Baby girl Milner didn't show a sign of life until the moment baby boy Hart was set down in the hospital nursery beside her. As his screams settled, hers began.

Elijah once said that Dylan kickstarted Isobel into life. She was waiting to find him before she showed a sign of life, had to wait to find the other half of her soul. He said it was why Dylan only stopped crying for Isobel. He had to wait to find the other half of his soul before he would settle.

Elijah once said that he always knew Dylan and Isobel were going to end in tragedy. He said he had watched the two babies, had watched Dylan scream until he could be by her side, had watched her play dead until she could be by his side. He said Dylan found peace with Isobel. He said Isobel found nothing but anticipatory grief with him.