Epiphany // Alicent Hightower

63. Don't Look

''Did sleep flee you as well this morning?'' Rhaenyra offered as they had set sail for home. Criston looked to her awkwardly before he moved closer. 

''I needed to see you, Princess.'' Criston remarked approaching her slowly, a plan, a mission on his mind.

''I confess I had a similar desire.'' Rhaenyra admitted if she couldnt have Taelon maybe she could have Criston. He already liked her, that was clear. He was handsome, at the castle, her sworn protector.

''You have confided in me now and then over the years of our acquaintance. I feel, forgive me, that I, I know you... a bit.'' Criston remarked.

''You know more than a bit.'' Rhaenyra agreed

''I've heard you say so many times how you loathe the lot of your position, that you are to be married off at your father's whim with no thought given to the yearning of your own heart, and... now the day comes. Ser Laenor is a good and, and decent man, but you, you did not choose him. He was chosen for you.'' Criston remarked.

''That's true.'' Rhaenyra agreed "Taelon wanted me to... he wanted me to be free to chose who I love and who I marry but... obviously that didnt happen." she added softly. 

''If there were another path... one that led to freedom... would you tread it?'' Criston offered and Rhaenyra stared back at him. ''Rhaenyra, before I came here, I was a knight in the Storm lands. I have deep knowledge of the port at Sun spear where I've seen the ships of Essos setting sail with their hulls full of oranges and cinnamon and I've always wished to see where they went.''

''Are you asking for leave?'' Rhaenyra questioned confused.

''I'm asking you to come with me... away from all of this. From the burdens and indignities of your inheritance. Let us leave it all behind and see the world together... where we'll be nameless, and free... free to go where we like, to love as we like. In Essos... you could marry me. A marriage for love, not for what the crown wants.'' Criston reasoned.

''Ser Criston... I may chafe at my duties, but do you think I would choose infamy in exchange for a bushel of oranges or a ship to Asshai? It is my duty to marry a nobleman from a great house and Ser Laenor will make a fine husband. As a princess that is my duty. Taelon did... he married and had children and he is happy. I want to be happy... But my, um... my marriage... does not have to be the end. Ser Criston, Laenor and I have an understanding. I've granted him leave to pursue his own interests... and in turn, he's granted me the same.'' Rhaenyra offered hopefully.

''So you want me to be your whοre?'' Criston spat.

''I want us to continue as we began, with you as my sworn protector, my white knight.' Rhaenyra corrected. She saw the confusion and panic in his eyes.

''I took an oath. As a, as a knight of, of your Kings guard. An oath of chastity. I've broken it.'' Criston said in desperation.

''I won't tell anyone..." Rhaenyra assured. Maybe she had misread the situation.

''I-I've, I've soiled my, my, wh... my white cloak. And it's the only thing I have to my fucking name!" Criston reminded her. ''I, I thought if we were married, I might be able to restore it."

 "The Iron Throne looms larger than me, larger than anyone in my family. Aegon the Conqueror united the Seven Kingdoms and put them on a path..." she declared.  "Ser Criston.'' Rhaenyra countered reaching out for him but he shook his head turning away from her. 

+

Taelon kissed Alicent again before he turned his head at the horses coming up the path. "Grandsire is home." Taelon remarked.

Alicent meant to ask Taelon if he knew of the teas Larys had spoke of but everything faded when she was with her family. Everything else just disappeared. She kissed Taelon again and again and they didnt see Viserys collaspe.

"Ew!" Aegon declared covering his eyes.

"Ew?" Taelon countered as he pulled Alicent closer. Aegon nodded. "Well, I'm gonna kiss mama again so dont look." 

"I should check on Nyra and father." Taelon remarked as he got out of bed. 

"I come!" Maekar declared almost falling out of bed but Taelon caught him. 

"Be careful!" Alicent begged as Maekar smiled sheepishly back at her. 

"I almost fly!" Maekar declared. 

"We go flying again later." Taelon agreed. "But no flying off the bed." 

Alicent knew she had to deal with the tea situation by herself. Maybe it was wrong, maybe it wasnt. She didnt want to bring Taelon into it if she was wrong. She wanted to be wrong and she wanted Rhaenyra and Taelon to be siblings and be happy. But something was gnawing at her. 

+

"Nyra!" She spun around. 

"Taelon." She rasped. 

"What happened?" Taelon questioned. 

"I... we... I'm... to Laenor. It's happening." She answered awkwardly. 

"I'm sorry Nyra." 

"It's okay." She whispered. "We... well we... are you and me okay Taelon? I can't not be... please." Taelon nodded hugging her again. 

"No more lies love bug." Taelon begged. 

"No more lies.'' Nyra agreed softly.

+

''Ser Criston... you've been summoned.''

''I left the Princess just minutes ago.'' Criston countered

''Not the Princess, ser. The lady ALicent.''

"Ser Criston, Your Grace." A handmaiden said as the door swung open, Criston took cautious steps into ALicents chambers. He looked around for Taelon but he wasnt here. Avalon and Emma were babbling, Avalon decided she wanted a mou which Taelon translated to Mouse after he read her some of his great great great Avalon Targaryen's journals. The woman their avalon was named after. So she was looking around the room, Alicent surly hoped mice were not running around their chambers. Thorin might try to kill it.

''That will be all.'' Alicent agreed as her handmaiden left. ''I fear I must question you on a, on a delicate matter, Ser Criston.''

''I am your servant as always, my lady.'' Cirston agreed. Alicent would be the queen one day.

''It concerns our dear Princess Rhaenyra. Please.'' Alicent pat the spot next to her and waited for him to sit next to her. hesitantly he removed his sword from his hip and sat stiffly next to her.

''You are her sworn protector and rightly loyal to her.'' Alicent remarked.

''I am.''

''The night of Daemon's return... there's been a rumor... or rather, my father received an accounting of... then Ser TOmmen said... and well... a lapse of morals that may have occurred between... It is, of course, unthinkable for me to question the virtue of the Princess, whom I hold in highest regard, but, I-I, I did, however, wonder if... I'm not unaware that in flush of youth... there may be errors made...'' Alicent didn't know how to say it but she needed to know her father was a good and right man. Tommen was trustworthy as well though. But if Daemon and Tommen didnt but someone else corrupted Rhaenyra. Alicent let out a long sigh as she looked to Criston.

''breaches in resolve, breaches, or rather lapses...''

''It happened, my lady. The sin you allude to. I have committed it. At her instigation, it is true, but that should... It is no excuse.' Criston agreed as he stood up. ''My oath has been broken. I have dishonored myself. I deserve no consideration. But if... you are inclined to pity... I would ask only this... that rather than gelding me and having me tortured... you would sentence me mercifully to death.'' Criston offered.

''Thank you for your honesty, Ser Criston. You may go.'' Alicent informed him and he stared back at her but she seemed content. Now what would she tell Taelon?