Freefall | Eren x OC

Chapter 15: A Toxic Marriage

⚠️ GENERAL CW ADVISORY. PLEASE READ A/N FOR SPECIFIC CW ⚠️

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You had spent the four days thinking back on those times with Porco as you mentally prepared yourself for Eren's move-in, scheduled to take place on Sunday. You had no idea why you thought back on your marriage so much, it hadn't really been on your mind in any real tangible way for more than a year. It had taken you close to two years to get over what had happened with Porco, you didn't even go on a real date until past the one-year mark. 

Things hadn't been helped by Porco's looming presence over your life at home and work. It had only taken a handful of months for him to show back up on your door. Amy had left him, he didn't care because he was so confused, he didn't know what to do when it came to you, he had cried as he walked back into your home. You had comforted him warily, telling him the whole time he should go see Marcel instead. you rubbed his back before he desperately turned and kissed you deeply, the first physical touch you had experienced since he left.

That's happened so many times now, it was hard to keep track. You had no idea what made you constantly accept him back into your home, back into your arms. He'd be affectionate, reminding you of the way you once were one minute, be the callous monster that reminded you of why you left the next. Then there were the more shameful encounters. The nights you'd call him in utter desperation, desperate to feel his hands on you, his lips on you, him inside you. Desperate for things to return to the way they were. Those were nights you'd never live down for as long as you lived, nights where you realized that deep down, you were still a weak and scared teenager not wanting to be alone.

And then there were the few men you let into your life, as potential romantic partners. Porco always seemed to find out about them one way or another, and it certainly didn't help that two of the three had been from work. Antoine from A&R and later Ian from Finance, both had been colleagues who you had bumped into and flirted with from time to time before they gained the courage to ask you out. They both knew about Porco, your marriage and subsequent separation was open office gossip by that point. But they still asked you out and you giddily said yes. But soon the calls at night would come, the unexpected home visits. One time Porco showed up while you and Ian were being intimate on the couch. After Porco railed him out for 'fucking his wife', Ian stopped taking your calls. It was the same for Antoine, it was the same with Jason. Any time a man got close, Porco chased them out of the house with a frying pan.

And there was this business of claiming you were still his wife in bed? Why? Why did he even want that part of you anymore? At work, he wouldn't look you in the eye except to give you a look that would range from cold and disgusted to completely indifferent. You often wanted to march to his office on his floor, let his work buddies know that no matter how much he probably bad mouthed you, he always came crawling back to hit it so what did that make him? God, what did that make you?

God, you shake your head in disappointment as you're deep in thought. How can you say you're over him, you're over this marriage when you let him do this? When you let yourself do this? How can you even stand and look someone straight in the face and claim you're a strong independent women when you still let your ex-husband play with your emotions whenever he or you want him to?

What will happen when there's someone else here? "Oh god," you say out loud, "oh god, Eren..." You don't need Eren finding out his soon to be colleagues at his new record label are not only separated but also still lovers. Your cheeks flush  in shame. That would just be too much for him, hell for anyone to deal with.

You take a deep sigh; you can't believe what you're doing. You need to talk to him; you just need him to come over so you can talk in person. Just talk. Nothing. Else...