Beautiful Pain (An Andy Biersack Love Story) {1} [Completed]

Chapter 79: I Hope You Found What You're Looking For

Chapter 79: I Hope You Found What You're Looking For

Andy's POV

I sat in the room for an hour before I finally felt like I was done crying. I took a deep breath and stood up.

"I'll be back," I announced to the room, walking out into the hallway. I ventured down to the NICU and walked up to a nurse.

"Hello, Mr. Biersack. I heard about your wife, I'm so sorry for you loss."

"Thank you," I said quietly, still not wanting the sympathy. She helped me get a smock and then let me in. I walked up to my daughter's bassinet and sat down, grabbing her hand.

"Can I hold her?" I asked the nurse that was inside tending to the babies.

"Of course," she smiled, lifting my daughter and removing the patches from her eyes. I stared down at my perfect angel. She had no clue that her mom had just died. She had no idea that my heart was shattered. Her little body was just focusing on continuing to grow.

"Your mommy loved you so much," I said, barely above a whisper. "I promise I will always be here for you. I love you so much baby girl," I said, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. My eyes drifted to the blank name spots on her card.

"I know her name," I said, loud enough for the nurse to hear. The nurse gave me a soft smile and walked over, grabbing the card from the bassinet and a clipboard.

"What is this angel's name?" she asked sweetly.

"Madeline Brielle," I said, spelling the names for her. I wiped a tear that fell from my eye. "Madeline Brielle Biersack," I said, looking at my daughter's tiny face. "I hope that's good enough," I whispered, hoping Brielle would hear me, wherever she was. I held Madi for a little bit longer before having a nurse help me place her back in her bassinet. I left the NICU and walked back to the room everyone else was in.

"Where were you?" Sienna questioned.

"Visiting Madi," I said, her name making my heart swell. The more I repeated her name, the more it felt right.

"Who?" my mom questioned.

"I finally decided on her name," I said, causing everyone to look at me. "Brielle loved the name Madeline, so that's her first name, Madi for short. Her middle name is named after the strongest person I know. Madeline Brielle Biersack," I said proudly. Brielle's mom covered her mouth, more tears pooling in her eyes.

"It's perfect, Andy," she said, coming over to me and hugging me.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, burying my face into her shoulder.

"Andy," she said, stepping away and grabbing my shoulders, "this is not your fault," she said, her voice cracking. "You always took such good care of Brielle. She loved you and you were everything we ever dreamed of for her. Thank you," she said, pulling me back into a hug. I hugged her back, squeezing my eyes shut to try to prevent the flow of more tears.

"Thank you," I said, holding her tightly.

"We're going to go see Madi and then we're going to head home," her mom said as her husband followed her out of the room.

"I think you should go home and rest, Andy," my mom said.

"It doesn't feel right without Brielle," I said, shaking my head.

"Andy, it's been a long day. Get some sleep," Sienna said. "I'm going to go home too," she said, hugging me and leaving the room, Sterling following her.

"Mom, how am I going to do this?" I questioned.

"It's going to be an adjustment, but you've never shied away from a challenge. We know you're strong enough for this Andy, we'll be here for you as much as you need us," my mom said, hugging me.

"Oh, a nurse dropped this off," my dad said, handing me a large plastic bag. The remaining pieces of my heart dropped and shattered. It was Brielle's belongings. I took it from him and hugged it close to my chest. My parents led me out of the room and to the car. I laid down I the backseat, clinging to the bag as they drove. We got back to my parents' house. Without a word, I went upstairs and into the bedroom Brielle and I shared. I stood in the middle of the room for a moment, staring at her empty space in the bed.

I climbed in on my side and laid her bag of belongings in her empty spot. I stared at the spot where Brielle was supposed to be, feeling cold from her lack of warmth. I covered up with a blanket, closing my eyes, hoping I would get to see her again in my dreams.

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