Beautiful Pain (An Andy Biersack Love Story) {1} [Completed]

Chapter 84: Rest With The Angels Now

Chapter 84: Rest With The Angels Now

Andy's POV

*One Month Later*

I walked into the NICU, smiling down at my daughter. She was a month and a week old now and I have visited her every day. She has been getting better and has grown a lot since she was born. She is now a little over four pounds. It's still crazy to think that this month, February, was the month she was supposed to be born, not December.

I looked down at her and noticed she no longer had the oxygen cannula on her face. My smile grew wider, my head snapping up and quickly searching for a nurse.

"She no longer needs oxygen?" I asked, grabbing a nurse's attention.

"No, her levels are amazing. The doctor should be by soon to talk to you," the nurse said before walking off. I picked her up, already so grateful to have one less tube to work around when holding her. Soon, she wont be attached to anything and I'll get all the baby snuggles I can handle. I sat with Madi until the doctor came.

"Hello Mr. Biersack, how are you today?" the doctor asked.

"Fine," I said, looking up at her.

"As you noticed, Madi no longer needs oxygen. Her heart defect has also resolved itself, just as we hoped it would. Your daughter is just about ready to go home."

"Home?" I asked, my eyes going wide. A wide smile spread across my face as I thought about never having to come back here.

"Yes sir. As long as she can pass the car seat test, we can discharge her." she said happily. Suddenly my stomach twisted into a knot as I felt myself start to internally panic. 

"Car seat," I mumbled, feeling my eyes grow wide. I hadn't thought about the fact that every single baby item we own is back in California. Our car seat, crib, diapers, changing table, clothes. Every fucking thing.

"Tomorrow, you can bring in your car seat and we'll let her sit in it for an hour. If there's no negative reaction on any of her monitors, you can bring her home!"

"Oh my god," I said, laying Madi back in her bassinet. "I-I'm sorry, I don't live here. I need to go buy like, everything," I said, feeling my heart start to race.

"It's okay Mr. Biersack," the doctor reassured with a smile. I said goodbye to her and sprinted out of the hospital. I got into my car and started driving to Walmart, calling my mom on the way there.

"Hi Andy," my mom greeted.

"I need you and dad to meet me at Walmart. Oh my god, I have to buy everything," I rambled.

"Andy, what on Earth are you panicking about?" my mom questioned.

"Madi might get discharged tomorrow and I need everything! I NEED A CAR SEAT!" I freaked out, banging on my steering wheel.

"That's amazing! Drive safe, calm down, we'll meet you there. Everything is going to be okay," my mom tried to soothe me.

"Thank you," I said and hung up. I got to Walmart and parked. I got out and grabbed a cart heading straight for the baby section. I stared at the shelves in front of me, not even knowing where to begin. Brielle made all the choices when we shopped the first time. I covered my face with my hands as tears began to prick the edges of my eyes. How in the world am I going to do this without Brielle? I can't even pick a fucking car seat on my own.

"Andy, what's wrong?" my mom asked. I looked to see her rushing over to me, wrapping her arms around me.

"I can't do this mom," I cried.

"What do you mean?" she asked, looking up at me.

"I can't even pick a fucking car seat on my own. How am I going to raise this child without Brielle?" I asked. I felt stupid for breaking down in the middle of Walmart, but grief is such a bitch. I'd see a can of Coca-Cola in the fridge and it would remind me of how much Brielle loved it. Everything reminds me of her and it fucking sucks. 

"We're going to help you. Being a parent is so hard Andy, there's so many decisions. You're smart, you'll figure it out fast and you'll feel more confident in your abilities as a parent. As long as Madi is happy, fed, and clothed, that's all that matters."

"Thank you," I said, sniffling. I wiped my eyes and they helped me pick out a car seat. We walked around the baby aisles, grabbing things we would need. We grabbed clothes, diapers, a bassinet, and other baby things. We grabbed just the bare minimum since the plan was to return to LA soon. The plan for the items we were buying now was to leave it with my parents so I wouldn't have to pack it when visiting. 

We loaded everything into the car and drove home. We brought all the things inside, except for the car seat. We set up a small area for Madi in the corner of my room, making everything as neat and organized as possible. I went out to the car with my dad and we installed the car seat into my dad's car.

I went back upstairs when we were done and stared at Madi's corner. Suddenly, having the items made it feel real and exciting. My daughter was coming home tomorrow.

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