Beautiful Pain (An Andy Biersack Love Story) {1} [Completed]

Chapter 85: Heaven's Gates You Left

Chapter 85: Heaven's Gates You Left

Andy's POV

I white knuckled the handle of the car seat as we walked down the long hospital hallway to the NICU. I was so excited about Madi coming home but also so nervous. What if she gets sick? What if her heart defect causes problems? What if I can't handle the demands that come with a baby? What if I'm a horrible father?

We arrived at the NICU, cutting off my negative thoughts. We were let in to the nursery and walked over to where Madi was laying. I set the car seat on the ground and picked her up, cooing to her. I knew this was the last easy moment with her.

While nerve-wracking, having Madi in the NICU was easy. It was safe. She was being taken care of medical professionals who do this every day. They were pros. I was amateur as they come. If she got sick, she was in the best of hands. I didn't have to worry about her being taken care of. Now, my worrying begins.

"Good news Mr. Biersack, Madi is now four and a half pounds!" a nurse exclaimed.

"That's awesome," I said, holding my daughter close.

Dr. Stewart walked over and greeted me, then my parents. She explained the test again and then had me set Madi in the car seat. We buckled her in and sat as the nurse set the timer for an hour. We sat and watched for an hour as she fidgeted in her car seat, watching all of us with her big eyes.

After the longest hour of my life, the timer went off. I immediately smiled and looked at the nurses who shared the same smile as me. 

"Madi is ready to go home," Dr. Stewart confirmed and we celebrated quietly, being cautious of the other babies in the NICU. "Due to her heart defect, I'd like her to be monitored once a month by a cardiologist for the first six months of her life. I can give you some recommendations."

"I live in Los Angeles, are you able to give me some recommendations out there?" I asked.

"Of course. I can email those to you tomorrow."

We signed the discharge papers and all of the nurses took a moment to say goodbye to Madi before we were free of that hell hole that would give me nightmares for years to come. I walked out to the car with my parents, feeling weird that I was carrying a baby out of the hospital, my baby. I was a father. I was taking her home. She was my sole responsibility from this point on. That thought scared me, but luckily, my train of thought was interrupted as we arrived at the car. I strapped in her car seat and climbed in the backseat next to her while my parents got in the front seat.

The entire drive home, I was interacting with Madi. Whether I was playing with her or just had my hand on her, I was so happy that my daughter was healthy and coming home. We pulled into the driveway and my heart started to race as I looked at the house that seemed to be looming over me. We're home, this is it.

I got out of the car and then unstrapped her car seat, carrying it in. I took a deep breath as I looked around at my childhood home. It felt so surreal to be bringing my daughter home to the same home I grew up in.

"I'm going to take her upstairs," I told my parents and they nodded. I carefully carried her car seat upstairs, afraid to carry her in my arms while using the stairs. I walked into my room and sat the car seat on the floor. I unstrapped her and picked up her sleeping body, holding her close to me.

"Welcome home, darling. This isn't really your home, you'll see that soon enough. I love you so much," I whispered to my daughter, staring at her beautiful, sleeping face. She looked so peaceful and just perfect. I laid her in the bassinet and pulled the bassinet next to my bed and laid down. I stared down at her for who knows how long, admiring her perfect features. She was still so tiny, but I could tell that she had Brielle's features.

I can do this.

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