Why do I feel this way?

Chapter 81: Glass Wall

Vivian tapped her foot anxiously, picking at her nails. Sitting across from her, Mia scrolled through her phone before sending a message to Charlotte.

To Charlotte:
Baby, come to the hospital when you leave work. Siobhan's condition isn't great. Vivian told me what Chris did to her— she is going to have to get blood transfusions.

From Charlotte:
I'm on my way, Mia. They are expecting her to make it, right? Poor Vivian... how is she holding up?

To Charlotte:
She should make it through... Vivian is— managing. Of course she looks to everyone else that she is completely unshaken... but she is my best friend and I see right through her tough act...

Mia looked up at her friend seeing the blank stare and hollow facial expression. Her whisper was filled with worry, "Viv, you're not breathing." She slid off her chair and over to Vivian kneeling in front of her. Mia's gentle tone continued, "Hey, look at me. Match my breaths..." The brunette's eyes were glassed over as her jagged attempts of inhaling shook her body. Vivian's voice barely audible, "it hurts to breathe, Mia. I'm scared—" The redhead laid her hand on Vivian's knee as she spoke with a confidence she knew her friend needed, "Siobhan is going to be okay— your dad is going to be okay! And Jamie? He is having the time of his life with Sara... You have shielded him so well from all this. It's okay to feel this way— I'm here for you."

Mia noticed her best friend's blue eyes dart away quickly in avoidance. "Vivian... what is it? Talk to me... let me help..." Vivian couldn't look at the readhead, but she sighed and began to speak, "I thought I worked through it... I thought I was stronger than this... it all came flooding back." Mia carefully stood, sat next to Vivian, pulling her into herself resting her chin on her head. "I'm so sorry, Viv..."

As Mia did her best to comfort Vivian, the voice Vivian wanted to hear most reached her ears. Athena knelt down beside her daughter as she collapsed into her arms. "Momma... he used the kit on her..." She held her daughter firmly as she stroked her hair softly, "Shhh... it's going to be okay. I'm here..." Mia felt sick at the words uttered from Vivian's lips. She didn't know what "the kit" was, but she definitely knew it was something that imprinted unspeakable trauma to her best friend.

After a few moments, Vivian finally began to regulate and relaxed in her mother's embrace. Athena broke the quiet, "Honey, I can't feel my legs anymore... Could we sit in the chairs?" A chuckle followed with composing sniffs escaped Vivian, "Sorry Momma... let me help you up." Mia raises one eyebrow as she makes eye contact with Vivian as her lips curve into a small smirk, "I see where the default coping mechanism comes from..." Vivian rolls her eyes as she takes her seat between the two redheads.

Tabby bursts through the double doors, her hair falling from her messy bun, face flushed, sweat beading on her forehead. Vivian's eyes widened seeing the state of her nurse friend, "Tabby, what's going on?" The nurse catches her breath before responding, "She's stable and you can come back with her. The doctor is concerned they may have to take her into surgery. We don't have enough O negative if anything goes wrong. If you know people that have O negative blood type, get them here."

"I'm on it, Viv. Go to your woman..." Mia blurts with a wink. Athena looks up at Tabby, "Beckett?" The nurse smiles slightly, "He is out of surgery. Everything went perfectly. His nurse should be out in about an hour to get you once he gets out of recovery." All three women sighed in relief and felt a little weight lift off of them knowing Beckett was in the clear. Vivian followed Tabby into the emergency room. The familiar sound of beeping machines, crying babies and the sterile smell grounded her as she reached Siobhan's room.

She all but ran to Siobhan's side. A raspy, tired plea escaped the blonde, "Viv, hold me... please." The brunette felt her heart jump inside her chest, a mix of love and pain jolted through her body. As she climbed into the bed, pulling Siobhan closer to her chest, she whispered, "Baby, I love you... I don't want to waste another second. Marry me— now. As soon as we can..." Siobhan had a mix of confusion and excitement flash across her face ending with a faint smile. "Um... Viv, we are already engaged... Wait, do you mean now?" Vivian chuckled as she ran her fingers through Siobhan's hair, "I'm serious, Siobhan. No more waiting. I want to marry you the second we can."

She turned, locking eyes with Vivian, she whispered, "let's do it..." before connecting their lips gently. As they kissed, the two seemed to be transported to their own world. Tabby had brought Charlotte back to the room since she finally arrived. The lovers didn't even register they were no longer alone. For them, it was like a glass wall had risen around them silencing all the noise— a barrier protecting their perfect moment.

A/N— This chapter might be scrapped... I don't know... I have a direction in mind of where to go with this story, but I love detail and settling in the emotions of the characters... Feel like I'm losing the balance between that and dragging things out too much... Anyway... I'm also losing track of what was an idea that I didn't write and what I have written... ha!