Why do I feel this way?

Chapter 62: Treatment Plan

The oncologist made his rounds the next morning before Jamie was discharged. As Vivian and Siobhan followed the doctor, the weight felt like a boulder crushing their chest. They knew they were about to hear things they never wanted to be reality.

Vivian and Siobhan sat out in the sterile hallway with the oncologist. The fluorescent lights seemed to dim, being absorbed into the wall. The various beeping escaping from the rooms seemed to add to the anxiety already unbearable.

They weren't sure how to tell Jamie what was going on with him and didn't know exactly how much to share with him. While they were still contemplating, all conversations about his condition took place away from him.

"The scans and pictures from his surgery show the spread is extensive." He hesitated before continuing allowing the news to settle. "This particular form of cancer is extremely aggressive so the treatment needs to match that intensity." The doctor pauses focusing his gaze thoughtfully on the two women. "We are going to use a combination approach. He will take a daily oral chemo pill— or liquid if he struggles with pills. For the first two weeks, he will have 3 IV treatments each week."

Vivian can hardly breathe. She had witnessed small pieces of this struggle with patients and families she encountered in the ER. Siobhan's ears rang as she fought to remain present in the conversation. "After the two weeks we will do one IV treatment per week, along with the daily chemo, for the next four weeks. After the first 6 weeks, we will do some follow up scans. Adjustments will be made depending on how he responds to treatment."

The silence that fell between them felt like they were drowning. Vivian turned to Siobhan as her trembling and raw voice reached her ears. "Bon, I don't think I can handle this. I can't watch my baby boy go through this." Her chest heaving rapidly clinging to the blonde as tears streamed down her face. Siobhan pulled her close, their foreheads resting against each other, "You aren't alone. We can do this together." She kissed her forehead softly before pulling her close to her chest. Grounding her as Vivian listened to Siobhan's steady heartbeat.

The doctor's eyes fill with sympathy as he breaks through the tension with encouragement, "Vivian, Siobhan, he is young and healthy. Kids are resilient. I see the strength you two have together. You will be everything he needs through this journey— you will find strength in each other."

As the oncologist left, the two women prepared themselves to enter the room with Jamie and Athena. Jamie's laughter seemed to echo through them as if they were a tunnel. The two women held hands as they forced a smile. "Apparently I need a lot of education about Paw Patrol..." Athena admitted while her eyes landed on the couple extending compassion with her expression. Jamie's small voice exclaimed, "She doesn't even know who Chase is mom!" Vivian giggles, "that is just shameful! Sounds like you have a lot to teach Nana."

To Char:
Thank you for all your support and helping me in the car park yesterday. I have a request— Viv and I had a discussion last night. Would you and Mia be able to share the news with everyone at the nursery? We can't go through explaining over and over.

A few moments after Siobhan sent the message to Charlotte the nurses entered with Jamie's discharge papers. He stands at the announcement and yells across to his mom, "Mommy, catch me!" He flings himself into her arms and laughter spills over in the room. Jamie's contagious smile beaming, "I get to go home!"

The little family walks together out to the car park. Athena pulls up in her vehicle to collect Jamie. "Here's the keys mom. We will be right behind y'all." Jamie enthusiastically crawls into his seat, "I like when I get to ride with Nana. She drives fast!" Vivian raises her eyebrows, tilts her head to the side and gives her mom a knowing look. Athena looks all around avoiding looking her daughter in the eye, "I have no idea what he is talking about..." Vivian shakes her head as a chuckle escapes, "be careful— see you at the house."

Siobhan wrapped her arms around Vivian's waist pulling her in for a gentle kiss. "Let's get home, baby. I feel a movie night coming on." The joyful atmosphere Jamie created lingered bringing warmth to the women's souls. For a moment, a quiet peace fell over them as they interlock their fingers and make their way to Vivian's car.

From Char:
Of course Siobhan, I'm here for you always— anytime. Mia and I will take care of it. I'll see if Marjorie will call a meeting to discuss boundaries.

Charlotte made her way to the office as her lunch break started. Marjorie's voice a comforting sound, "Hi my love. Are you taking your lunch break?" Charlotte smiles with a small hesitation, "Yeah. I also need to talk to you— about Jamie." The nursery manager's stomach drops as her tone becomes soft, "Okay..." Charlotte takes in a deep breath calming her nerves before continuing, "Jamie—" emotion hangs heavy in her throat, but she chokes out the rest of the words, "Jamie has cancer, Marjorie."

The air in the office seems to have been sucked out as Marjorie freezes and her heart drops into her stomach. Slowly she sits in her chair with her eyes fixed on a stack of paperwork on her desk. Charlotte can hear the tension in Marjorie's voice, "What can we do to help?" Tears pool in her eyes as she waits for Charlotte's response. "They want all the staff to know before they bring Jamie in— and boundaries set for no questions for now."