Why do I feel this way?

Chapter 56: Jamie's Big Day

A/N— I'm currently down with the flu so if some of this reads as delirious nonsense forgive me

It's the day of Jamie's birthday party and the chaos of getting everything set up is well under way. The company they rented the inflatables from were in the yard getting everything set up. Jamie was standing by the back window with his hands pressed against it. "Mom! Look! They're blowing them up! I can't wait! You're the best!"

Vivian, a little teary eyed, looks at Siobhan and whispers, "Thank you, Bon. He is so happy! This is all I ever wanted for him. I just didn't know it would be this sweet." The younger woman smiles as she walks over to Vivian and kisses her softly. "Ew... Bonnie, mom... do you have to do that?" Jamie exclaims. The two women laugh as they pull away from each other. They continue to get dinosaur shaped snacks ready and set up the tables.

The excitement and pure joy radiating from my sweet boy does a number on the momma's heart. So many people have stepped in to make this day special.

I moved here, alone, just me and Jamie. All we had was each other then. Now we have a whole new family to lean on— a village. They are coming through for my boy and I couldn't ask for more.

A few moments later Reece and Marjorie arrive with Jamie's cakes. In Marjorie's excitement she begged Reece to bake several cakes. She wanted to sculpt some into dinosaurs along with the sheet cake she was going to decorate. When Siobhan opened the door to let them in, she was met with pure excitement from Marjorie and an annoyed Reece. The blonde fought back the laughter as she noticed the sculpted T-Rex and velociraptor. They looked amazing, but she could see that it must have been a struggle for Reece by the look on his face. However, if there was anything she knew about Reece, it was he would do anything to make Marjorie happy.

They place the cakes on the table. When Jamie sees them, he gasps and starts clapping. "Momma! Look... It's a T-Rex and a velociraptor!" He runs over to Marjorie and hugs her telling her thank you. "Everyone is going to be so impressed!" He giggles and runs off to continue watching the inflatables being set up. His nose flattened on the cool glass completely unaware of the smudges he was leaving behind.

"Well well well... Marjorie, Reece, you two outdid yourselves with the cakes! What do I owe you?" Vivian questioned. Marjorie walked over and hugged the brunette, "My love, you don't owe us anything. It was a pleasure to be a part of this special day." Reece nodded in agreement. He looked towards the back window where Jamie was as he belted, "Y'all got inflatables?! Oh, I'm going to have a blast!"

Mia, Charlotte and her girls arrived next. Hillary and Madelyn ran straight to the back with Jamie. The adults could hear all the ecstatic chatter as they entered the kitchen. "Anything we can do to help?" Charlotte asked as she and Mia entered hand in hand. "We are just about done, but if you want to help with greeting guests as they come that would be great! Any gifts can be placed here on this table." Vivian was spastically moving around the kitchen as she spoke. Siobhan took her hand and rubbed her thumb along her knuckles as she pulled her closer, "Viv, breathe. Everything is taken care of, Jamie is over the moon and that's all that matters. You have made everything perfect for him, baby."

That's so sweet. Shibby has come a long way! I'm proud of her. The relationship they have is so beautiful. Viv is doing for her what Charlotte did for me— see that she is worth more.

The rest of the guests arrive over the next twenty minutes and the space is filled with laughter and excited chatter. The aroma of cake icing and dino nuggets wafting through the air. "Are you guys ready for the inflatables?" The adults had to cover their ears from the volume of the enthusiastic screams from the kids— and Reece.

They stampede out to the yard and they all pour into the obstacle course climbing and crawling racing through. The giggles and the children's excited voices settle into Vivian's and Siobhan's ears warming their hearts. The noise fades from Siobhan's ears and she scans the faces around her as she gets lost in thought.

I never knew children could bring me so much joy. Jamie has completely changed me and helped me open my heart to the pure love children have to give. It used to be painful because of all the darkness I held inside, but it doesn't feel like that anymore.

Sorscha approaches Siobhan and whispers, "Never knew you were so maternal." The blonde smiles softly and turns towards the redhead. "Well to be honest neither did I. Viv and Jamie have completely turned my life upside down— in the best way." Sorscha places a hand on Siobhan's shoulder, "I'm glad we get to know the real you now." A lump formed in the blonde's throat as a mix of regret and thankfulness washed over her. Memories flooded her mind that she tried to bury.

I took all my anger and frustration out on Sorscha for so long. When I couldn't accept my sexuality, I projected hate on anyone that was in a homosexual relationship. All I wanted was to be happy and free like her, but my upbringing caused me to hate myself for it. I'm thankful for the second chance she has given me for connection— for friendship.

Mia and Vivian are in deep conversation about their partners. Their eyes darting back and forth watching the children play. "Viv, how are things going? Really..." The brunette smiled and chuckled before she responded, "I don't think I've been any happier than I am right now. Therapy has done wonders for Siobhan. She lets me support her when she needs it. I know Charlotte has also played a part in encouraging her to come to me. Their friendship means a lot to her."

The redhead smiles and locks her eyes onto Charlotte watching her interact with Marjorie. "Char has been through so much and is always so willing to help everyone around her. She helped me relearn how to open up and have a meaningful relationship. I'm not sure how much longer I would have made it without her coming into my life."

Jamie's voice pierces through, "This is the best party ever!" He jumps from the obstacle course as he lets out an excited squeal. He sprints over to Madelyn, "you wanna joust?" The two each get on their own pedestal and hold up their jousting sticks. The two giggle as they count down from 3 before they start hitting each other. Madelyn successfully knocks Jamie off his pedestal first. He climbs back up with a look of determination, "I'm going to get you this time!"

After a couple hours of playing outside, everyone goes back inside for Jamie to open his gifts and eat cake. As he opens his gifts, the room is filled over and over with his squeals, thank yous and laughter. With the last couple gifts, Vivian notices that Jamie's energy has somewhat decreased. She isn't too concerned because it's been such a busy day, but she did make a mental note of it.

They started to cut the cake and as Vivian passed Jamie the first piece, he shook his head. "I don't want any right now. My stomach hurts mommy." Again she wasn't too concerned since he had eaten some chicken nuggets and played a while. The rest of the guests had their cake and socialized a bit more before starting to leave.

Once everyone had left Jamie asked his mom if he could go lay down. "What's wrong Jamie?" The boy started to tear up, "My stomach just really hurts and I don't feel good." She looked down at him with compassion in her eyes, "Come on sweetie. I'll walk with you up to your bed."

In no time Jamie had fallen asleep and Vivian walked back downstairs to help Siobhan finish cleaning up. "Is Jamie okay, Viv?" She continues to pick up around her as she says, "I'm sure he is fine. It's been a big day. He could be coming down with a stomach virus or something. I'm sure it's probably nothing."