Why do I feel this way?

Chapter 59: Waiting

They had Jamie hooked up to an IV for fluids and was coloring in his Paw Patrol coloring book Siobhan went back home to get for him. The two women were sitting on the small sofa by the window in the room. Siobhan leaned back against the arm of the sofa, legs spread slightly to make room for Vivian to sit between them. Vivian's head was resting comfortably on Siobhan's chest. Siobhan periodically kissed the top of Vivian's head as they both watched Jamie.

Quiet beeps of the machines filled the room mingling with Jamie quoting random lines from Paw Patrol. The door creaked open as the surgeon entered the room along with Dr. Tulip. "Good morning Vivian and Siobhan Clark, how is little Jamie today." Vivian made eye contact with Siobhan watching her eyes pop open and her cheeks flushed red. The brunette graciously corrects, "Oh we're not married yet. What are the plans for surgery?"

Did I just say yet? I hope that doesn't freak Siobhan out. We haven't even talked about getting married. What if she never even wants that?

Did Viv just say we aren't married YET? I must admit hearing him say Siobhan Clark made my heart skip a beat... We have never come close to discussing marriage, but maybe we could...

The surgeon, Dr. Phillips began explaining, "Plan is to do his procedure first thing in the morning, so nothing by mouth after midnight." The two women walked over to Jamie's bedside while he continued, "We will be able to do his procedure laparoscopically which will help with his healing quickly. Following our standard protocol, his appendix will be sent to the pathologist to analyze the tissue."

He notices the concern on Siobhan's face and turns towards her, "I'm assuming you aren't the one that's the nurse. Do you have any questions? I would love to explain anything you don't understand." Relief evident in her expression, "What does a pathologist do?" Vivian holds Siobhan's hand, "Pathologists check for any abnormalities with tissue, such as cancer. Anything we remove from the body in surgery is always checked, even when no issues are suspected."

As the doctors exit the room, the two women sit on the bed with Jamie and ask him what he wants to eat for supper. The two recognized the mischievous expression that fell over his face, it looked just like Vivian's, "Can I have ice cream for dinner?" Vivian chuckles as Siobhan shakes her head with a smile beaming through. "Of course you can, but I want you to have REAL food first." He bounces up and hugs his mom, "deal!"

Vivian grabs her phone to call Mia. "Hey Mia, yeah Jamie is doing okay. The medicine is helping his pain." She paused as Mia responded before asking, "Could you do me a favor? We are wanting some Italian for dinner and Jamie requested ice cream. Would you be able to pick it up and bring it to us?" Siobhan heard the enthusiastic response as she loudly said, "Thank you, Mia. You softy!"

It was the next morning and Jamie was being prepped for surgery. Vivian's chest began to tighten. Siobhan saw Vivian place her hand on her chest as she took a deep breath. She walked over to her and soothingly whispered, "He's going to be okay, Viv." Vivian rested her head on Siobhan's chest taking her locket between her fingers rubbing her thumb across the top, "Thanks, Bon. I love you. Thank you for being here with me— with Jamie."

In the operating room, Dr. Tulip watched as Dr. Phillips progressed with the procedure. As they looked at the monitor, they were able to see why his scan didn't look typical. Abnormal appearance of his colon seemed to cement Dr. Tulip's concerns. Dr. Phillips broke the silence, "Let's see what the pathology report says first. Then we will go from there. It's harder when you know the patients or their parents well."

Once the surgery was over and Jamie was moved to the recovery room, Dr. Tulip and Dr. Phillips went to his hospital room to speak with Vivian and Siobhan. The women's eyes shot up quickly, "How did everything go?" The two doctors approached the sofa and pulled the chairs closer to sit near Vivian and Siobhan.

Vivian had seen these expressions before when doctors gave patients and family members bad news. Her chest tightened, her breathing became uneven as she reached for Siobhan's hand. "Jamie's surgery went well and he is in recovery, but the pathology report came back with abnormal results." Siobhan's breath caught in her chest as she squeezed Vivian's hand tighter.

I can't do this. Why does it have to be my baby boy? It's not supposed to be like this. Why couldn't it be me? He just turned 5!

"Viv, it's a type of adenocarcinoma. It has spread from the appendix, but we don't know how far yet." She barely heard the doctor as a ringing started in her ears while tears streamed down her face. Everything slowed as her eyes scanned the doctor's face. His mouth was still moving but no intelligible word distinguished from the muffled sounds.

"We will give you some space. We will come around again soon." Siobhan kneeled in front of Vivian placing one hand on her knee the other cupping her cheek. "Baby, come back to me. Breathe." Siobhan looked around the room, her eyes landing on Vivian's drink. She walked over to fish a piece of ice out of the cup. When she returned to her kneeled position in front of Vivian, she gently rubbed the ice across her wrists.

The shock of the cold on her wrists snaps her back into reality as sobs erupt from her chest, "My baby, my Jamie has cancer, Bon. Why? How could this happen? Why didn't I notice sooner?" As Vivian laid her head on Siobhan's shoulder, Siobhan sent a message to Athena asking for her to come. She then sent a message to Mia and Charlotte. Siobhan knew soon they would need their support more than ever.