Why do I feel this way?

Chapter 111: Godsend

***If I used the wrong name for the caseworker... my bad, I'll fix it later 🫣

Vivian and Ciara continued with a quiet conversation. The young girl expressed her emotions the best way she knew how. "I'm scared it will be like before. It took my mom so long to get us back. We weren't with her long until they took us this time." Vivian held Ciara's hand as she shared, "I heard the officers talking to each other saying that if we keep getting taken we would never go back." A heartbroken Vivian rubbed her thumb across the back of Ciara's hand, "I'm so sorry you heard them talking like that. You know how much your mom loves you. And, we have visitations every week now. We have also discussed that you can call your mom whenever you want to— just let us know. Right?" Ciara nodded, "You're right, we do get to visit every week and you and Bonnie ask all the time if I want to call..." Ciara sat silently looking down at Vivian's hand holding hers, "I'll try to do better at telling you when I'm upset." Vivian placed her bent finger under Ciara's chin gently lifting her head, "That sounds like a plan." They both smiled at each other before Ciara settled into bed.

As Vivian was leaving the room, Ciara requested, "Would it be okay for you to bring Zuri back in here to sleep?" The brunette smiled, "Of course, sweetie." She tiptoed down the hall and quietly entered her and Siobhan's room seeing Zuri cuddled up with her beautiful wife. Vivian allowed herself a moment to take in the calm warmth of the scene.

My Bon is such a natural at this— she was made for this. She's endured so much hardship, but it's given her a gift I don't think she ever expected...

Siobhan looked up at Vivian with a smile barely hiding the worry in her eyes. "How is Ciara?" Vivian walked around the bed kissing her wife softly on the cheek, "I think she's going to be okay. She asked for Zuri to be back in the room with her..." The blonde could feel the tensions slowly releasing from her body. Vivian spoke up again, "I really want to call Laurel real quick about this. She's known Ciara much longer." Siobhan nodded, "I'll carry Zuri to bed. You make the call."

When Siobhan entered the room with Zuri, Ciara pretended to be asleep already. The blonde noticed her shuffling just before she entered with Zuri. Siobhan laid Zuri carefully into the bed and kissed her forehead, "Goodnight sweet girl, love you." After tucking her in, she made her way to Ciara's bed, tucking her tighter in her cover as she leaned to kiss her forehead. "Goodnight sweet Ciara, love you." Siobhan had just made it to the threshold of their room when she heard the tiniest whisper, "I love you too, Bonnie." A lump formed in her throat as she pulled the door shut and returned to her bedroom.

Vivian stood in the back garden, eyes glistening from tears. "I'm sorry for calling so late, but a situation happened and I wanted to make you aware and maybe get some advice." Laurel calmly responded encouraging Vivian to continue. She explained the entire event that occurred that evening and was met with an annoying lengthy silence. "Hello? Are you there?!"

Laurel took a deep breath, "This actually isn't that uncommon with foster placements. I truly believe this time she just didn't know how to express herself. Her emotions have to be so confusing right now. On one hand she is glad to have her sister with her, but also the natural feeling of being responsible for her. And the biggest one, sharing the attention from you  and Siobhan. I watched her with you guys at the park and she is more settled with y'all than she was the last time they were placed in care. That's a lot to work through and she's only six." As Laurel took a breath, Vivian asked, "What about the wording she used? How does she even know that?" The caseworker sighed, "There was a situation before their last placement where they witnessed someone making those exact threats. It happened in the home while they were there— thankfully they didn't actually witness the person's attempt. But, they heard everything..."

Vivian covered her mouth as she wept. I can't imagine being so young hearing someone say those things. Hearing the chaos that must have come with it...

A few minutes later she ended the call with the caseworker and they made the decision to keep a close watch and have Ciara start counseling sessions soon. Laurel would be calling their children's counseling service first thing in the morning.

The next morning at handover, Vivian asked Charlotte if it was possible for her to step out to have a private conversation with her. The sweet woman knitted her brows and surveyed the room, "Let me just call for Marjorie to cover for a moment." It didn't take the manager long to make her way to the room. "Hiya, Viv. You alright?" The brunette smiled at her friend, "I'm alright. Thank you for covering for a moment— I know you hate it." All three let out a soft giggle as Charlotte and Vivian left the room.

Walking into the meeting room, Charlotte closed the door and turned to face Viv. "What's going on? I'm a little worried." Vivian shifted her weight back and forth. "Last night was tough..." Charlotte could see the emotion creeping in slowly, so she just patiently waited with such grace as she always did. "Ciara threatened to hurt herself last night." Charlotte couldn't help but gasp, but tried to hold back her questions and let Vivian finish. "I talked with her caseworker and she will be starting counseling soon, but I just wanted you to be aware in case something were to happen here or if Jamie talked to you about it. He hasn't said anything to me or Bon, but he's been sleeping lighter than normal lately. He says he has to protect his sisters."  Charlotte placed her hand on her chest as tears began to fall. "I'm so glad those girls have a family like you all to help them right now. I'll keep a closer eye on Ciara and take some time to talk with her one on one— not about anything specific, just to spend some time. Vivian smiled with relief, "Thank you, Charlotte. You really are a godsend."