K-pop sickfics/hurtfics

Seungkwan seventeen - depression

900 words

Seungkwan had always been known for his brightness. The energy he brought to Seventeen, his humor, his way of making everyone laugh even in the hardest times, these were all things that came so naturally to him. But now, it was as if a part of him had been taken away, leaving a hollow, aching silence in its place.

The news about Moonbin had shattered him. They'd known each other for years, shared countless memories, and understood each other on a level that was rare in an industry where true friendships could be hard to find. Moonbin had been his confidant, his friend, someone he'd looked up to and loved like family. Losing him in this way left Seungkwan feeling untethered, as though his whole world had lost its shape.

At first, he tried to carry on as usual, pushing through the grief, telling himself he needed to be strong. But with every day, the weight in his chest grew heavier, and everything became harder. He found himself lying in bed for hours, staring at the ceiling, replaying memories he shared with Moonbin over and over again. The simplest tasks - getting up, eating, showering... - seemed overwhelming, like each one required energy he didn't have.

His members noticed immediately. Jeonghan would bring him meals, gently encouraging him to eat, even if Seungkwan could barely take a few bites before the nausea set in. Vernon would check on him constantly, offering quiet company when Seungkwan needed it, and space when he didn't. And DK was always nearby, hovering with worry etched deep into his face, as if he was afraid Seungkwan might disappear, too.

One night, after another empty day had passed with Seungkwan barely leaving his room, DK came in and sat by the edge of his bed. Seungkwan's back was to him, but he didn't have the energy to pretend to be asleep.

"Seungkwan," DK whispered, his voice thick with concern. "Please, just... talk to me."

Seungkwan closed his eyes, feeling the tears burn under his lids. He wanted to talk, he wanted to let it all out : the confusion, the pain, the anger, the guilt. But every time he tried, the words caught in his throat, too tangled and raw to be spoken.

"Why is it so hard, DK?" he finally managed to whisper, his voice barely a thread. "Why does it feel like... like there's no way out?"

DK reached out, placing a hand on Seungkwan's shoulder. The warmth was grounding, a reminder that he wasn't alone, even if it felt that way. "Because you lost someone who meant the world to you," DK said softly. "And that kind of pain doesn't just go away. But we're here for you, Seungkwan. You don't have to go through this by yourself."

But the words felt like a foreign language to Seungkwan. His mind was a fog of sadness and self-blame, replaying memories of Moonbin's laughter, his kindness, and the sudden silence that had replaced it. He couldn't stop thinking about all the times he'd missed the signs, wondering if he'd somehow failed his friend.

Days continued to pass in a blur. Sometimes he would try to get up, to join his members for practice, but his body would refuse, weighed down by a heaviness he couldn't explain. Other times, he would sit on his bed, staring at nothing, his heart aching with a pain so deep it felt like it might consume him. The world outside his room seemed distant, unreachable, as if he were trapped behind an invisible wall that kept him isolated from everything he once cared about.

He started avoiding his phone, unable to face the messages of condolences or the posts from fans who didn't know what was happening but could sense that something was wrong. The noise of the world felt like too much, and yet the silence was unbearable, too.

One evening, as he sat alone in the dark, Wonwoo came in quietly, sitting beside him without a word. They stayed like that for a while, the quiet stretching between them until Wonwoo spoke, his voice low and gentle.

"Seungkwan, I know it feels impossible right now. But you don't have to carry all this pain alone. It's okay to feel lost, and it's okay to need help."

For the first time in weeks, Seungkwan felt something break inside him. He turned to Wonwoo, the tears he'd been holding back spilling over as he whispered, "I don't know how to do this without him, hyung. I don't know who I am without him."

Wonwoo pulled him into a hug, holding him tightly as Seungkwan let himself cry, finally releasing the grief he'd been holding in. He sobbed into Wonwoo's shoulder, his body wracked with the force of all the emotions he'd kept bottled up. In that moment, he allowed himself to be vulnerable, to feel the full weight of his loss without trying to pretend he was okay.

And as he cried, his members gathered around him, offering their quiet, unwavering support. They didn't try to fix him or force him to be okay. They simply stayed with him, grounding him in their presence, reminding him that he wasn't alone.

It would be a long road, he knew. The pain wouldn't vanish overnight, and there would still be days when getting out of bed felt impossible. But in the arms of his friends, he found a small glimmer of hope : that maybe, one day, he would learn to carry the memory of Moonbin not as a weight, but as a cherished part of who he was. And until then, he would allow himself to grieve, to heal, and to lean on the people who loved him, trusting that they would help him find his way back to the light.

Thanks for reading. If you have a special story in mind don't hesitate. I take requests.