Pitch Perfect Harmony

Not Just A Hangover

With a bit of a hangover, Taylor made her way to Kansas City the day after the VMAs. She wasn't sure if it was just a hangover because all the noise on the way there and the bright lights of the plane felt even worse than usual. Travis arrived at his place just a few minutes before her and brought food from a local restaurant. "Congratulations my darling", he greeted her at the door. Taylor smiled and found a little bit of comfort in his hug. "You know you wouldn't have needed to mention me in your speech", he told her. "I wanted to. You deserve it. You made this video shoot so special", she smiled and pulled him down for a kiss. "I'm glad I could be there. Let's eat something, hm?", he suggested. So they went to the kitchen and shared the food. Taylor wasn't the biggest fan of the food as it mostly consisted of meat with way too many different spices. And when she bit into a sinewy piece it almost made her spit it out. She literally shivered but managed to swallow it in one piece at least. Since she could eat solid food, sinewy meat was her end boss. It made her whole body react.

"You good?", Travis asked confused. "Yeah... this is just... not for me", she mumbled and pushed the steak away. He observed her confused. "What is this about?", he asked. "Doesn't matter", she just said too tired to explain this now. "Tay", he didn't let go. Whenever she avoided food, he got suspicious. "I just can't handle that much meat now. The alcohol from yesterday maybe", she said. He let her get away with it for now but something was off. After dinner, everything seemed fine again. They cleaned up together and sat down on the couch afterward. "I saw a lot of clips of you dancing yesterday. Did you kiss a girl before and liked it?", he joked and unknowingly triggered her to freak out seemingly out of nowhere. "What do you care?! This is so annoying anyway! That they had a camera on me the whole time! I psyched myself out so much that Tree took me out for an hour. Do they even know what they do with that?", she raged and stood up again. Travis sat up and watched her trying to figure out what to do.

"Argh, and now... now I... Fuck!", she yelled and ran upstairs. This was about to turn into a meltdown. An ugly one. Not the I-wanna-hide-and-don't-see-anyone kind of meltdown. No, more an I-need-to-scream-and-cry kind. They came for similar reasons. Overstimulation for days. She had never figured out why she sometimes couldn't handle noise and other times started yelling as if she had gone crazy. And usually, the first kind made everyone leave her alone and the second kind caused a fight. "I hate this, I hate this, I HATE THIS!", she screamed before slamming the door of the bedroom shut and throwing herself onto the bed. Travis jumped at the noise. He thought about giving her space but something told him that this wasn't the right choice. So, he went upstairs. He found her screaming into a pillow.

"Tay", he carefully said making her look up. Her face was flushed red, tears streaming down her face. She was mad. So mad. At everything but mostly at herself. For not being able to handle her own emotions. For overreacting like this. "I... I didn't mean to say anything wrong", he said confused. "I, you... argh", she just mumbled punching her thigh. "Ouch", she whispered. "Fuck! Why?! Why now?!", she continued. Travis walked over and caught her fists when she threw them in his direction without the intention of actually hitting him. "Tay", he tried to get her to look at him while sitting down. A loud cry left her lips that honestly shocked him. "Taylor, hey, look at me", he tried again but she frantically tried to free her hands. "Allie, please", he continued, and the nickname let her hold on for a second and look up. "Are you in pain? Do I need to be worried?", he asked rubbing the back of her hands with his thumbs. "No! I... It's just...", she panted breathing heavily.

"Is it a panic attack?", he tried again. "No! I... it'll pass... I promise, I'm just...", she tried to convince him. There was still this fear. Fear that he wouldn't understand. That he would be mad and maybe even leave. "Should I let you alone?", he asked still holding her hands. Her fists immediately opened holding onto his hands tightly. She shook her head still crying without knowing why exactly. "I don't want this, I... I hate it, I... it's just so much, the... the people... the camera... I... I don't feel like a person when they... do that", she stuttered. He started to get behind this. When they had been at the wedding and she had asked for a break, he had been scared that she'd have one of these mental breakdowns. This right now didn't look like the ones he had witnessed before but maybe it was similar. "But it's okay now. You're back home. No cameras. We have some time now, you can take a break", he told her while slowly pulling her into a hug. She seemed to be okay with that. "Tight", she mumbled, so he pressed her shaking body against his more.

The pressure worked after a bit and her loud cries became silent and then subsided. "Good now?", he asked silently. She nodded but they didn't let go for another moment. "This just... happens", she mumbled ashamed. "Like the breakdowns?", he asked surprising her by putting that together. "I don't know why it's this sometimes and that other times", she explained honestly. "Did you know this was going to happen?", he wanted to know. She shrugged. "Not really. It's not because you... said that earlier. That was just... the last drop and you don't even know what you asked there", she said. "What did I ask?", he wanted to know confused. Taylor sighed. That would be worth an explanation.