Desperation.

Chapter 88

When I come home my mother has already cooked spagetti for me, my sister and my brother.
"They're so good, mum!" Sam says and my mother smiles "I love this tomato sauce!"
I have never heard him saying something like that.
I grin and so does Julia.
"What are you gonna do tonight?" Julia asks me. I cannot tell her that I am going to visit Louis because my mother stands right behind me and she must not know about that so I do not tell her the truth.
"I'm gonna go shopping with Rose" I lie.
My sister smiles. "That's great! I wanted to go to the city as well because I need some new clothes. I still have some coupons from my birthday!"
Shit.
"That's a nice idea!" my mum remarks and I shake my head. "No, mum. I'm sorry but I wanted to go to the city alone. I mean - with Rose. But not with my little sister who wants to buy some new clothes."
"Diana, please!" Mum says and looks at me.
But I cannot tell her the truth so I have to convince her that Rose and me want to go alone.
It takes half an hour to convince my mother and I feel very sorry for Julia but now she decided to go shopping with Sara.

I leave our house at 5pm and I hope that neither my mum nor my sister notice that I catch the bus into the other direction.

When I arrive at Louis' house he opens the door and kisses me.
"Hey Diana" he smiles.
"Hey Louis! What are we gonna do tonight?"
"I thought about going to the cinema..."
"That's a great idea!" I answer and kiss him again.
"But I don't have any money with me..." I admit and Louis laughs. I love his laugh!
"You're not gonna pay for anything tonight!" he commands and I kiss him.
"Thank you, Louis."
Louis drives us to the cinema and we decide to watch a romantic film.
The film is lovely and I really enjoy it although I cannot really concentrate on it.
On one hand Louis distracts me with his kisses and his smell and I would love to be alone with him now.
On the other hand I always have to think of James and what we did in Ireland.
I hope these thoughts will disappear as soon as possible.
At the end everything in the film is alright and everyone is happy. A typical romance.
I wish life was that easy. But as soon as it comes to a love story there is someone who destroys everything.
James destroyed my relationship with Louis. We did not even have a relationship and he came between us.
Well, it is also my fault but if James had not been there I would not have had sex with him.
And if I had not had sex with him I would not be worried about Louis and me. About us.
But now it is too late.
I have to deal with that.

When we go back I am glad that Zayn and Rose are not at Louis' house.
We go upstairs and I lay down on Louis' bed. He starts kissing me and I kiss him back, sliding my tongue into his mouth and pulling his body to mine.
It is a beautiful, passionate kiss with so many feelings and it feels like my stomach was going to explode. I do not only kiss Louis, I feel him. I want him.
I want him so badly.
Our first kiss was many weeks ago. I want more. And Louis wants more, too, I can feel it.
I can feel him.
His eyes are full of lust and when he realises that I want it to, he pulls off my t-shirt and I do the same with his.
Our trousers are next, then my bra and our underwear.
It feels so good to be with him.