Desperation.

Chapter 8

"Hey Diana" Rose says when I arrive at school. "What's up?" - "I'm gonna meet Victor today" I smile and bite on my lips because I do not want to scream.
I am so happy to know him!
"Tell me more about your date!" Bella says but I answer: "I'm gonna meet him later. But tomorrow I'll tell you what happened." They seem to be satisfied with my answer and we go to our first lesson. It's very boring but maybe I think that because I can't wait to meet Victor.
At the first break Rose asks me to come with her to Louis' house because Zayn lives there.

If I just had known earlier that that was the beginning of the biggest change in my life.

Because of this unpredictable person.

Rose rings the doorbell and Zayn opens the front door for... us?

"Should I come with you?" I whisper and Rose nods.

If I just had known earlier...

We go upstairs to Louis' room and Zayn knocks.

"Come in." a voice says and Zayn opens the door.

"Rose and her friend are here."

Louis looks from Zayn to me and Rose.

"Hey" he says and smiles.

I smile back at him and I can't help but look at these beautiful eyes.

Gosh, how can someone be so beautiful?

For a second I forget about Victor.

There are just Louis and me.

His eyes as deep as the sea.

As lightly as the stars.

As blue and green as the Caribbean ocean.

"Dianaa? Are you okay? What are you thinking about?" Rose interrupts my thoughts.

"Um... nothing special... I just wondered if I did my homework" I stutter.

"We have to go, Diana. Our lesson starts in 2 minutes."

Oh no! I don't want to leave this house. I don't know why... I just don't.

Rose kisses Zayn and walks through the door to go outside.

Please not. I beg myself. I want to stay.

But I don't want to be late for lessons so I go with Rose but someone pulls me back.

I turn around and see Louis.

"What do you want from me?" I ask.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Why does he ask that?!

"No... I don't think so... maybe later. I'm going to meet Victor after school." Why do I tell him that?!

"But I don't want you to." Louis whispers and pulls me closer to him.

Honestly that feels good and I don't want to go but my subconscious reminds me that I don't know him and I like Victor... don't I?

"Don't tell me what I have to do. I don't even know you! Let..." I try to say but I can't go on speaking because suddenly he pulls me completely to his own body and kisses me.

Gosh, I thought I had a special feeling when I kissed Victor but there's nothing you can compare to this kiss. I want him. I really want him... I can't stop kissing him... he slides his tongue into my mouth and I respond with pulling him closer to me. He goes backwards and we fall onto his bed. I lay on top of him and I can't help but go on kissing.

Fuck his kisses are like an explosion in my stomach. Much more than the firework from Victor's kiss.

Damn!!! I completely forgot about him! What should I tell Victor?!

Hey Victor I really like you but I Louis' kisses are better than your kisses so I will marry you but don't be jealous of Louis when I kiss him again. I am just a woman and I also have needs.

Never! I'm never ever gonna tell him these words. I don't want to hurt him and I just fell in love with him a few days before so I decide to not tell him about Louis' kiss and I hope he doesn't find out what I did.

"Louis" I try to stand up but his hands are on my waist so I can't move. "Louis. Stop that, please." He looks confused and tries to kiss me again. I need all my power to convince myself that I have to go. And I really have to go back to school. "Louis" I beg "I really enjoyed your kiss but please... let me go"

He looks at me and shakes his head.

"Are you fucking kidding me? First you kiss me and suddenly you have to go?! Are you serious?" he says dangerously quietly.

I better go back to school quickly.

I still cannot believe what has happened a few seconds ago.

I kissed Louis.

And I enjoyed it more than anything else.

When I arrive at school I'm too late but the teacher is nice so I say I was delayed by another teacher and he says that that's okay.

While we speak about the French revolution in history I get a sheet of paper from Rose.

----------------------------

????

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Rose has never been the master of words but she could have been writing at least one sentence.

But - no problem - because with such a "letter" I can tell her that I didn't know what she meant.

Although I do know what she means.

Of course I do.

But I'm not gonna tell that anyone! And I hope Louis does the same.

After school I go to the address Victor told me yesterday. It's not far away from our school and I find it easily.

I ring the doorbell and Victor opens the door.

His house isn't big but it is a house (no flat!) and he has a small garden.

Victor shows me every room and he tells me that he lives here with his friends Josh and Harry.

I think he's talking about Sara's brother and Leanne's boyfriend.

Their house is very nice and I wonder how he can pay that.

"Do you want to drink tea or coffee?" Victor asks and I tell him "I never drink coffee. I take a tea."

He nods and smiles and after some minutes he hands me my cup.

"Let's go upstairs, love"

I nod and we go into his room.

It's very comfortable with some pictures on the wall.

Most of the pictures show a normal car or photos of a car race or porches.