Desperation.

Chapter 12

When I wake up I am very tired. It is Wednesday and I slept very badly. I have been thinking about Victor and Louis for the whole night.
And I need time. I do not want to go to school today but I have to. I hurry up with taking a shower and eating breakfast so I can go to school earlier. I have to talk to Rose before lesson starts.

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From: Diana
To: Rose
I have to talk 2u.
Pls come 2 school earlier.
D xx
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When I get on the bus I receive a reply.

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From: Rose
To: Diana
I'll be at school in 5 minutes.
R xxx
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Perfect.
When I arrive at school Rose is already there.
"So what do you want to tell me?" she asks. "When you went back to school... I stayed at Louis' house. And... I kissed him. No, he kissed me. And it felt like heaven. I've never had this feeling before. It was... indescribable. I wanted to kiss him again. And again. But I can't. I was at Victor's house after school. And we're a couple now. He likes me and I like him. But although I like Victor I can't let him go. Louis. I can't forget this kiss. And that's not everything. I stayed at Vic's house and we kissed. And while I was being there Louis came to us. He rang the doorbell and Victor opened the door. Louis had this very strange glance. His glance. And when I wanted to go home Louis was still in front of the door and he came with me. I don't know why. And I don't know what I feel. I need Victor and I really like him. But I also have feelings for Louis. What should I do?"
It takes a long time until she answers. I think she has never been in such a situation. And I hope she will never be. It is terrible! "Umm... That's difficult, Diana. I think you know that. But I can't say that you should listen to your heart because you said you had feelings for both of them. But if I was you, I would take Victor. He seems to be a cute and polite and nice boy and Louis is a bit strange. He seems to be nice but he can be naughty, too. He seems to be dangerous. I don't understand why he kissed you but Victor is a better boyfriend for you." - "How do you know?" I ask. I am a bit angry. How can she speak like this about Louis?! She does not know him.
You don't know him, either.
My subconscious reminds me.
"Thanks for your help." I say. "Hey giiiirls" That is Leanne's voice.  "Hey Leanne" I say and hug her "Where's Bella?" Leanne shakes her head and answers "I don't know. I thought you do."
"Hii friiiends" Finally Bella arrives at our meeting point. "How are you all?" - "I'm fine" I answer. I know that is half a lie and Rose looks at me but I shake my head. I do not want to talk about my problem anymore.
"Me too. I am so happy with Zayn. He's so cute! Yesterday he brought me flowers! Roses. Because of my name and because he loves me. What about you and Harry?" Rose asks Leanne.
"I'm happy, too. Harry and I want to go to the cinema today and you know what?! He wants to take me to London! His parents and his sister live there and he wants to visit them at the holidays." Leanne has a big smile on her face while she talks about Harry. "Cool" is the only thing Bella says. She is the only one of us who does not have a boyfriend at the moment. "Come on friends" I say "We have to go to the gym. We have P.E. now."
"What do you want to do today?" our teacher asks. "What about dancing?" I suggest. But the boys groan.
"You always want to dance, Diana. We want to play football or basketball!" they say and they are right. I always want to dance.
"Maybe we could do something we all like?" Niall asks.
Niall is a cute boy with an irish accent but he will never be more than a good friend to me. He is nice and helpful and funny - but nobody I want to have a relationship with. He is Bella's type of boys. Bella and Niall were in a relationship two years ago, I think. They are very cute together but after a year they decided to be just friends because Niall found someone else. I think her name was Liza or Lisa or something like that.
"Let's do athletics" Niall says, convinced that everyone will agree. And everyone does.
We do high jump, long jump and we throw tennis balls. I don't love athletics but it is okay. I like long jump but I hate throwing tennis balls.
After P.E. we have English and we write an analysis. I hate that. After English we have chemistry.
The chemistry lesson feels like 5 minutes and now we have a 45-minutes break.
"Let's go to Zayn" Rose suggests but I am insecure. Zayn lives at Louis' house and I do not want to see him now. It seems like Rose can read my thoughts because she says "We don't need to go to him if you don't want to. It's just... that... I miss him although I've seen him every day since we went to the disco." - "I know what you mean. And I am happy for you. You're so lucky that you have such a beautiful relationship. But have you ever thought about kissing someone else while you are in a relationship with Zayn?" I ask and she shakes her head. "No, I haven't. But I think I can understand what you mean. Louis is special and he has something magical."
This is true.
"Okay" I say without thinking about the consequences "Let's go to their house!" - "Are you sure?" I nod.
If I had knew that this was such an important decision which could probably change my life...