Desperation.

Chapter 10

I came in like a wreeeckiiiing baaalll

I neveeer hit so haaard in looovee

Oh no! That is my mobile phone.
"Hello. This is Diana" I say. "When are you going to come back, honey?" This is my mother's voice. "What about 7 o'clock?" I ask and she agrees.
Victor stands up and asks "Do you want to drink something?" I nod and he walks out of the room. I use the time to send Rose a text message.

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From: Diana
To: Rose
Hey Rose x
I'm at Victor's house and he's so romantic and we're in a relationship now.
I'll tell you more later.
CU
D xoxo
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But before I receive a reply Victor comes back and hands me a cup of tea. "Thanks" I smile and he kisses me on my forehead. The tea is tasty but hot and Victor takes my hand. I look at him and he says "I'm so happy that I met you. You're a beautiful person and I know that although we have just met on Saturday. Your smile, your hair, your eyes- every part of you is perfect!" I smile about his words. "I think the same about you, Victor. You're so pretty, romantic, friendly, lovely and cute. What do you want more?" I laugh and he puts his tea on the table and kisses me. Then he takes my tea and puts it on the table, too and he pushes me onto his bed. I look into his eyes and he leans over my body and kisses me again. When his lips meet mine I get this special feeling and I put my legs around his waist. He moves his body closer to mine and we do not stop kissing. All these feelings I have... I cannot compare them to the feelings I had when I kissed Louis... it was so different... I felt like heaven. And Victor's kisses feel... I do not know... they feel good. And special. But not as special as Louis' kiss. Why do I think about Louis? I have a boyfriend now! Victor is my destiny! I have to show him that he's the only one for me. I interrupt our kiss and say softly "You're my destiny. I like you - nobody else." Instead of an answer he kisses me again and moves his mouth to my neck. His fast breath feels hot on my skin and I cannot help but pull him closer to me. He sucks the skin under my ear and leaves a love bite. Now everyone can see that I belong to him. "I like you" he says after he finished. "I like you, too" I answer and kiss him on his cheek. "Let's have some ice cream" I'm surprised about this suggestion but I think it could be fun so I take his hand and pull him outside. "Great idea!" I say "Where's the next ice cream parlor?" - "Around the corner. It's not far away" he answers and we go there. I take chocolate ice cream and he wants to eat yoghurt ice cream. "Yummy" he smiles and I laugh.
After we ate our chocolate and yoghurt ice cream we make our way back to his house. We go back to his room and I am very tired so Victor allows me to take a nap in his bed. He lays down next to me and I fall asleep in his arms.

I love it.
I'm sitting here next to the heating.
It's warm.
Although my heart feels cold.
Because of you.
Why are you gone?
I don't understand what you have done.
Don't you know what you mean to me?
Don't you understand why I love you?
Don't you remember every single moment in our relationship?
Don't you remember it was wonderful?
Boy, tell me what's wrong.
Please tell me why.
Please come back.
I can't live without you.
I don't wanna live with this pain.
But it's warm.
The heating is still warm.
So is your heart.
But you forgot about one thing:
My heart is broken.
I am lost without you.
And now I'm sitting here.
Next to the heating.
My back feels warm.
My heart doesn't.
I hate loving you.

Oh my god! What was that?! Why do I always dream things like that?
I am happy and I am in a relationship with Victor so I do not understand why I dreamt about splitting up.
This is strange.
Why do I always have these bad dreams?!
"Diana?" Victor is awake, too. "Yea?" - "Why did you... umm you.... cried in your sleep."  Oh no. "Just a bad dream." I explain to calm down Victor and maybe myself, too. He hugs me and whispers "Don't worry. We are together and that's important. I like you and I will protect you from everything." I almost cry because of these words and I give Victor a kiss. He is so cute and romantic and fantastic and lovely.
Oh shit! That must be the doorbell! Victor sighs, stands up and pulls me with him.
We walk through the corridor and Victor opens the door.
When I see the person who stands behind the door I want to scream. But I cannot move anymore.