Desperation.

Chapter 38

We go to Zayn and Louis' house and when we walk through my street we let Nelly go in.

"I hope Leanne is okay... I don't wanna lose another friend" I cry and Rose takes my hand.

"Me too... but what do you mean by another friend?"

"Bella... Seeing the video feels like years ago but I still don't know why they did it. I mean... Hating me? Okay. Cheating on me? Okay. These are things which are terrible but I can understand that... I think everyone hates anyone and some people cheat on others... that's horrible but okay, if they need to do that... but why the hell did they do this fucking video? I just don't understand why. Do they hate me so much? But why did Bella pretend to be my friend? And Victor my boyfriend? That's stupid! There must be another reason..."

"I think Bella was just jealous. And Victor was an asshole. But it happened and there's no reset-button for your life. Sorry but if I was you I'd just try to forget about that. There are things and people that are more important."

She's right.

And I'm sure she's talking about Leanne...

When we arrive at Louis' and Zayn's house nobody is there.

"Victor is not the only one. Louis is an asshole, too." I sigh "He told me to come over tonight and then he isn't at home."

"I think they'll come back soon" Rose says and a car arrives. It parks next to their house.

"Told you" Rose says and tries to smile.

But I know she worries about Leanne.

So do I.

"Hey honey" Zayn says when he gets off.

"I missed you!" He kisses Rose and I wait for Louis to come out of the car.

But he doesn't.

"Hello Zayn. Where is Louis?" I ask.

"I'm not sure but I think he was gonna meet a friend at the Sandall Park."

Oh no! I hope it is not Jason... if Louis only knew what Jason did...

Maybe I should tell him to stop meeting him?

Maybe I should tell him to never talk to him again?

But he could think that I would overreact... and it is still his decision...

Zayn must have seen my shocked expression because he tries to calm me down.

"He'll be back in a few minutes, Diana. I'm sure. But I can call him and tell him to come back right away if you want me to."

I shake my head.

"Thanks, Zayn, but I'm fine with that. I can wait."

We go inside and I leave them alone and go to Louis' room.

I am sure that Rose and Zayn are talking about Leanne.

I wish Louis would be a bit more like Zayn... He is reliable, friendly and always there for his girlfriend. And he accepts Rose as his girlfriend.

And he comforts her.

He really loves her.

I can see it in the way he looks at her, his eyes start shining when he sees her.

I wish Louis would look at me that way...

But I am not his girlfriend...

Sometimes we are friends

Sometimes we are more than friends

But in other times I am just a stranger for him...

It is a terrible feeling to love someone and you don't know if he feels the same...

But there is something more important at the moment. Leanne.

I look at my mobile phone and think about calling her...

I bet she will not answer the call but it is the only thing I can do now...

...

...

I was right. Leanne doesn't answer the call...

"Diana?"

I was too busy thinking about Leanne that I didn't notice that Louis came in...

"Louis" I  whisper and start crying. He sits down next to me and pulls me onto his lap.

"Tell me what happened. Everything will be okay. I am here for you."

He gives me a kiss and puts his arms around my waist.

It feels good to have someone who comforts me but I know that this will not last long.

"Leanne is missing. Nobody knows where she can be. Nobody has been seeing her since I was at the hospital. I don't even know what she wanted to do." I sob.

"That sounds terrible..." Louis whispers into my ear and I shiver. "But I'm sure she will be back soon. Everything will be alright. You have to wait, darling, don't worry."

His words makes me feel a bit better.

"Thank you" I whisper and lean against his shoulder. "I love you". I didn't mean to say these words but it is the truth and Louis knows that.

He kisses me.

"I love you, too." He whispers into my mouth and I feel like there is a roller coaster in my heart.

Up and down.

Up and down.

Dizzy.

And I don't know where I am.