Desperation.

Chapter 28

I decide to put the note into my pocket because Louis won't need it anymore, I guess.

Tomorrow I am going to talk to him about that.

But I have to say that carefully because I don't want him to think that I looked into his wardrobes and cupboards without asking him...

Luckily there's a pajama but probably not Louis' or Zayn's because it's for women.

Why do they have something like that?! Maybe for special guests who stay for the night...

I'd say that Zayn isn't that type of boy who has a new one-night-stand every weekend but what about Louis?

I could imagine that every girl wants to spend the night with him and maybe he had some one-night-stands... but I hope that's the past and he wouldn't do that while he loves me. And he told me that he loved me, didn't he?

Whatever - I don't want to wear a pajama which was worn by many other girls before so I go back to Louis' room and take one of his t-shirts and a pair of boxers.

His clothes are very comfortable and I lay down next to him.

He looks so cute when he's sleeping!

I take his hand and he whispers in his sleep "Don't let me go, Diana."

"I won't." I mumble and he turns around so I can see his face. His eyes are closed and that looks so beautiful... His face is full of beauty, long eyelashes, full lips, perfect skin, lovely nose...

Why does he think I would let him go?

Maybe he has a bad dream...

I take his hand and close my eyes but I cannot sleep.

There are too many things I think about...

Who wanted Louis to come to the Sandall park?

And could that meeting be more important than his 'girlfriend's' birthday?

Apparently it is.

Why didn't he tell me about that?

Was the note from a girl? Or a boy?

But these are not the only questions I think about. There's on question which is more important than anything else at the moment.

What's going on between Louis and me?

He never called me 'his girlfriend' and I'm afraid of calling him 'my boyfriend' because we've never talked about our relationship.

We love each other, we kiss, we dance and I get this special feeling when I am with him.

I shiver when he touches me and being with him feels like heaven. I've never had this feeling before. I thought being with Victor was a special feeling. But that's nothing compared to the goose bumps I get when I'm with Louis.

There's no more second I don't think about him.

I want him. I want him more than anything else. And I need him. He's probably the most important person in my life he's my world  he is everything to me.

I'd choose him if I had a choice between him and my life.

He's the one I would die for. He's the one I waited for my whole life. 18 years.

That sounds crazy because I've met him just two weeks ago... Or three weeks?

I don't think about the time when I am with him. I just enjoy the way he looks at me and the way he is. It's... him.

Now I understand the meaning of "Love on the first sight."

But I don't want this relationship which doesn't even exist... I want a real relationship, I need him, I want him, I love him and if you ask me everybody else should know that we're in love! I need a relationship with security and confidence.

I kiss Louis softly and fall asleep hand in hand with him.

...

...

...

In the next morning Louis wakes me up with a kiss on my forehead.

"Good morning, princess. How does it feel to be 18? You can do whatever you want to do!"

"I see no clear difference between being 17 and being 18. This morning feels like every other morning. Except the bed. Your bed is much more comfortable than mine." I mumble and Louis laughs.

"That means that you should come over every night!" he says.

"Yea... maybe..."

"What's up, Diana? Is everything okay?"

I'm too tired to talk about the note I found yesterday so I just nod.

"Everything's alright. But you said that you want to tell me something?"

"I don't remember..."

"I guess you wanted to tell me the reason for being late."

"Oh." he looks insecure "I just went to an important meeting... Because of... my university... um... I forgot my books so I went to university to get them."

I don't believe any word of this shit but I decide to wait until he tells me the truth.

One day he has to tell me what's going on behind my back.

Or I'll find out more about this secret by myself.