Desperation.

Chapter 11

Oh no!
It is Louis.
How did he find me?
What should I do?
I try do hide behind Victor but it is too late. Louis has already seen me.
"What are you doing here?" Victor seems to be confused.
"I want to talk to Diana."
"She's my girlfriend" Victor says quietly.
"I don't think so" Louis answers.
Instead of an answer Victor closes the door.
"Who the hell was that?" he asks me. "Louis. Just a... friend." I do not think Louis is my friend because I do not really know him but he's nice and he kisses very well. I told him in the morning that I did not have a boyfriend...
Maybe he thinks that I lied to him?
"I think I should go home" I say to break the silence. "I don't want to be late for dinner." Victor sighs "You can't go out. Your friend is crazy! I don't want him to be alone with you. Should I go with you?" he asks but I shake my head. "No, you don't need to. I know Louis - he is nice." Although I do not know him I am not afraid of going outside while he's angry and stands in front of Victor's door. "Good bye love" Victor says and kisses me. It feels wonderful and I enjoy being so close to him. "Good bye." I walk through the door and expect Louis to stand there but he does not.
"Louis?" I scream. No answer. "Louis?" I scream again.
"Yes?"
Now I see him. "What are you doing here?" I ask. "Waiting for you." - "Why?" - "Why not?" - "Tell me what you're doing here" - "I thought you didn't have a boyfriend" he whispers. That doesn't answer my question but I have to tell him the truth. "I had no boyfriend. Until today. After our kiss" - "What were you doing with Victor?" - "That's none of your business!" I shout. I'm getting angry. Why does he want to know that? "I know but... why did you tell me you had no boyfriend? And why did you kiss me? You knew that you would be at Victor's house later, didn't you? So why didn't you say the truth?" "I wanted you to kiss me. I wanted that kiss. And I still want it. But I cannot have it. I have a boyfriend and I don't want to lose him." - "It's your decision. Do what you want to do. But if you change your mind - you know my place. Come and you'll get this kiss."
Okay. These are clear words.
Maybe I should change my mind.
But I do not.
I like Victor, don't I?
"Sorry, Louis. I don't know you. That was just one kiss. We should forget about it." I explain but while I say these words I know I do not mean them. "I don't care what you say. I'll come with you. I don't want you to go home alone." I do not say anything I just want him to leave me alone but I know it does not matter what I say, he will stay.
We walk silently through the streets and when we are in front of my door I ask "What do you want to do now?" - "I'll go home." Louis says and disappears without another word.
I ring the doorbell and my mother opens the door. "Hey honey. I cooked spinach and potatoes. Your plate is in the kitchen. Eat what you want to eat." Honestly, I am not hungry but I eat the rest of the spinach because I do not want my mother to be sad. "How was your day?" She asks when I sit down. "It was okay." - "Where have you been after school?" Why does she want to know that? I do not want to tell her that I was at my boyfriend's house because if she knew that I have a boyfriend she would want to know everything so I say "I was at Rose's house." - "Okay."
I am glad she does not ask more questions so I can do my homework now. It does not take a long time to do them so I can go to bed early and think about all these things which happened today.
What should I do now?
I have a boyfriend and I like him but I want to kiss Louis again.
He is so... beautiful... adorable... irresistible... but there's one thing he hides... if I only knew what!
If I only knew him.
I wish I did.
But I do not.