Desperation.

Chapter 80

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"Do you wanna call him?" Alana asks full of sympathy and I nod again.

"Here's our phone." She hands me a telephone and I call him.

"Louis?"

"Diana?"

He sounds surprised.

"Yes, it's me"

"What made you change your mind?"

I had expexted him to be angry or sad or to hang up immediately but none of these things happens.

"I miss you, Louis."

"I miss you, too."

"Why did you broke up with me? Why did you stop calling me, why didn't you want me to call you?"

"I'm so sorry, Louis, I can't explain that right now, but I will. Soon. I promise."

"Either you are honest to me or I'll hang up now."

"I am honest!"

"Tell me the reason."

"I can't! I wanna say it to you when we're face-to-face, not while we're phoning!"

"Come over now."

"Louis?! I'm in Ireland!"

"You're what?!"

"I-am-in-Ire-land!

"..."

"Louis?"

He has hung up.

I almost throw the phone onto the sofa and close my eyes.

Don't freak out, Diana, keep calm.

Fuck.

"Is he angry?" Rose asks.

"No, somehow he talked normally and calmly, almost nicely... I don't know why he hung up."

"Oh no. We'll visit him when we're back in England okay?"

I nod and sob.

Rose hugs me and Alana turns the TV off.

"Do you wanna eat or drink anything?" she asks after that and Rose and I follow her into the kitchen.

I drink a whole bottle of water and Alana offers to cook noodles.

One our later we finish our noodles and we decide to go out.

"Do you still feel the headache?" Rose questions and Alana answers "Oh yes. I wish I hadn't drunk so much!"

"Me too" I admit and think about James.

Why did I do that?!

I mean- he is not ugly, he is actually very pretty and I would love to be with him if he was nicer but not in this situation.

I feel like I have just cheated on Louis.

"Does anyone else know what happened yesterday between James and me?" I ask and Rose and Alana look at each other.

Finally, Alana answers "Everyone could hear you."

"Fuck!" I shout and turn around in embarrassment.

"It's not that big of a deal. Everyone in our class knows that James fucks everyone with boobs when he is drunk."

"Pardon?!" I scream, it is getting more embarrassing than ever!

"No, no, I don't mean it like that. I mean that every girl in our class understands what you feel like at the moment."

"Every girl?" I gasp and Alana nods.

Holy shit.

I had never thought that James was such a heartbreaker...

"Every single girl. Me too. But I wasn't drunk- James and me... we were in a real relationship."

"Okay..." I answer because I do not know what else I could say.

As if Rose was able to read my thoughts she says "You don't need to worry about Louis. You didn't cheat on him, he is not your boyfriend. And he will never know what happened last night."

"Thank you, Rose!" I say and kiss her on the cheek.

"Anytime" she answers and smiles.

...

When I am back at James's house Marilyn is not at home and James is also away.

I make a sandwich and call my parents.

"Hello mum!" I say when she answers the phone.

"Hello my darling. Are you alright?"

"Yes"

"What's up?"

"I just wanted to call you. Nobody is at home and I'm bored."

"Oh. Do you like your host family?"

"Yes, they're very nice" I lie.

"So what are you planning to do tomorrow?"

"We're gonna work on our projects for school, I guess."

"Okay and what did you do today?"

"I watched the fault in our stars with Rose and her exchange student. What are you, dad, Sam and Julia doing?"

"Julia is at Sara's house, Sam is sleeping and dad is at work."

"Sara McJoyce?!" I ask.

"Yes, I think she's Josh's sister, isn't she?"

"Yea... I have to hang up now, bye mum!"

"Good bye, Diana!"