Desperation.

Chapter 85

Louis holds me tight and a few minutes later, Rose comes in.

"Hey Rose" Louis smiles and Rose smiles back at him.

"Diana... I need to talk to you" she says and I wonder what she wants to tell me.

I give Louis a kiss and follow my best friend into the kitchen.

"What happened?" I ask her.

"Diana. You told me you wanted to find the murderer. We cannot wait any longer. I miss Leanne so much! And that's the least we can do for her. It's not only for her. This person has to get the right punishment. You want to meet Louis, don't you? Your mum doesn't want you to visit Louis, does she? So we have to find the murderer. He or she has to get a punishment and you will be able to meet Louis again. I mean- with the permission of your mother."

I nod. "You're right Rose. But how do you wanna do that? We can't just go outside and say 'Hey we're searching for a murderer, is that you?' And then somebody says yes and we're done with this shit. How do you imagine that? How do you think we can start?"

Rose looks confused. She has not thought about that before, I think.

"I don't know, Diana" she admits "but we have to do something. As fast as possible!"

"I know, Rose" I answer and think about how to start. "Leanne did not do anything bad. She didn't hurt anyone and she wasn't in any fights. So nobody could have killed her because he was in a fight with her. But the murderer had probably known Leanne before he killed her. Because Leanne would never meet a stranger who she only knows from the Internet, for example."

Rose agrees. "Do you think the murderer goes to our school?"

This thought makes me shiver. What if I know him as well? What if the murderer is in my class?

"Hey love" someone whispers into my ear and puts his hands on my waist.

I wince. "Louis!" I am a bit shocked and Louis laughs. "What happened to you girls? You look so sad!"

"It's okay." Rose tries to smile and disappears. We have to talk about this topic when we are alone.

"I think I should leave now, Louis" I say "I am a bit tired because of the flight."

"Okay, love" he answers and kisses me.

I go to the bus stop and when I am at home again I think about the evening.
I thought Louis would ask me questions about my letter and the text messages... but somehow... he just ignored this topic.
Maybe he did not want to argue with me. Maybe he just wanted to enjoy the time with me.
Or he has already forgotten about that.
Or he has changed his mind.
Louis is unpredictable.
He always changes his mind.
With these thoughts I lay down on my bed.

I do not notice Nelly when she comes in but when she jumps onto my bed I am very happy to see her.

"Nelly!" I say "I missed you so much during the last two weeks!"
I cuddle with her for the rest of the evening and with her, I can forget all my worries. Animals are the better humans.

Animals do not ask silly questions.
Animals listen.

I am so glad for having a dog like Nelly. When she realises that I cry she comes closer to me and stays calm.

...

"Good morning, girls!"

Who is that? And where am I?
It takes a while while until I realise that I am at home again and that this voice belongs to my own mother. Not my host mother. My real mother.
Nelly is still next to me and she is awake now.
Luckily, it is Sunday and I do not need to go to school today.
"You wanna go out for a walk?" I ask Nelly and my mother grins.
During our walk I think about how to start Rose's and my plan.