Desperation.

Chapter 78

When I wake up I am lying in a big four poster bed in a room with huge windows, a light blue carpet and a white wardrobe with a mirror.

My head hurts very much...

I turn around and look at the person next to me.

Who the fuck is that?

Everything I see are his hair and his eyes.

No. No- that cannot be-

"Hey"

I pull the blanket away and it is him.

James.

Fuck.

"Good morning" he mumbles but I am speechless...

"Fuck, I hate it when I am drunk and wake up, knowing I had sex with someone I shouldn't have sex with"

Pardon?!?!

"We... we... had SEX?!" I shout desperately.

James nods. "We had very good sex... better than I had expected you to be." With these words he walks out of the bedroom.

Oh no.

It is worse than I thought it was.

I try to fall asleep again.

Maybe it is just a dream... a nightmare... maybe we did not have sex and we just talked...

A strange sound wakes me up.

I stand up and almost fall onto the bed again. That hangover...
When I am able to walk I open the door.

"James?!"

James stands in front of me as if he wanted to apologise for something...

"What's up?!" I ask, trying to sound angry but he obviously does not mind.

"Don't tell my mum that we had sex last night" he says motionless and I gulp and nod.

He disappears without any further words.

Fuck.

What can I do know?

I wish I had a machine that I could use to travel to the past... if I had something like that, I would definitely use it now!

I want to undo the last night, I hate myself for what happened and I worry about him...

What would Louis think about that?

I love him, even if he was a murderer or a badass, I love Louis so fucking much and he also loves me...

Shall I tell him what I did?

I better do not.

"Good morning, Diana" Rose says when she opens the door.

When she sees how desperate I am she is shocked. Her eyes wide and she mumbles "You didn't..."

I know what she means and nod.

"I did" I sigh and she shakes her head.

"No more Irish alcohol?"

I nod in agreement. "No more Irish alcohol."

"What are you gonna do today?" Rose questions.

"Waiting until my hangover disappears..."

"Sounds like a good idea!"

"It definitely is, Rose. I have such a bad headache..."

"Okay, does your host mother know that you're here?"

"I don't think so... I'd ask James now but this is... sort of... a really bad decision"

"Okay, I'll ask him"

"Thank you."

She searches for my exchange student and I ask Alana to give me some new clothes.

After handing me a pair of jeans and a top she shows me one of her bathrooms so I can take a shower.

When I am finished Rose tells me that I can stay there because Marilyn wants me to have fun with my friends...

Great! She is not gonna see me with a hangover.