Desperation.

Chapter 59

I avoid speaking to my mother when I am back.

I am really annoyed although I know that she is just worried about me...

Normally I would call Louis to ask him to come over but I cannot... that sucks.

He makes me smile, he makes me laugh, he makes me happy... but he is also able to make me cry. And he knows that.

Sometimes I wonder how I could love someone like him...

One day changed my whole life.

The day I looked into these beautiful green blue eyes.

His unbelievable eyes.

Full of love.

Full of anger.

Full of sadness.

Full of happiness.

You never know what is going on in his mind.

Behind these eyes.

I have never thought that I would fall in love with such an unpredictable boy.

I thought love was easy.

Until I met Louis.

And Victor.

Yes, sometimes it hurts to be with Louis.

But the worst thing is being without him.

I miss him so much...

Hopefully the murderer is going to be caught soon so Mum changes her opinion about Louis.

After doing my homework I try to sleep but there are too many thoughts in my head...

*** FLASHBACK ***

Rose rings the doorbell and Zayn opens the front door.

"Should I come with you?" I whisper and Rose nods.

We go upstairs to Louis' room and Zayn knocks.

"Come in." a voice says and Zayn opens the door.

"Rose and her friend are here."

Louis looks from Zayn to me and Rose.

"Hey" he says and smiles.

I smile back at him and I look into his eyes.

...

"Dianaa? Are you okay? What are you thinking about?" Rose interrupts my thoughts.

"Um... nothing special... I just wondered if I did my homework" I stutter.

"We have to go, Diana. Our lesson starts in 2 minutes."

Rose kisses Zayn and walks through the door to go outside.

I want to stay.

But I don't want to be late for lessons so I go with Rose but someone pulls me back.

I turn around and see Louis.

"What do you want from me?" I ask.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No... I don't think so... maybe later. I'm going to meet Victor after school."

"But I don't want you to." Louis whispers and pulls me closer to him.

"Don't tell me what I have to do. I don't even know you! Let..." I try to say but I cannot go on speaking because suddenly he pulls me completely to his own body and kisses me.

Wow... I cannot stop kissing him... he slides his tongue into my mouth and I respond with pulling him closer to me. He goes backwards and we fall onto his bed. I lay on top of him and I cannot help but go on kissing.

I must not forget about Victor!

"Louis" I try to stand up but his hands are on my waist so I cannot move. "Louis. Stop that, please." He looks confused and tries to kiss me again. I need all my power to convince myself that I have to go. And I really have to go back to school. "Louis" I beg "I really enjoyed your kiss but please... let me go"

He looks at me and shakes his head.

"Are you fucking kidding me? First you kiss me and suddenly you have to go?! Are you serious?" he says dangerously quietly.

I better go back to school quickly.

I still cannot believe what has happened a few seconds ago.

I kissed Louis.

*** END OF THE FLASHBACK ***

Damn!

I want to feel his lips on mine again...

I love the way he hugs me... I love the way he looks at me.

I want to feel his hands on my skin, I miss the way he pulls me closer to him, I miss the way he shows me that he loves me...

I miss Louis so fucking much!

It has just been a few days ago that I have seen him but knowing that I am probably never going to see him again is the worst feeling I ever had in my life...

When I finally fall asleep it's already 3am and I do not have any dreams this night...