Desperation.

Chapter 52

It takes half an hour to get to the Sandall Park.

Louis and I go hand in hand and it's cold outside.

I feel a bit uncomfortable because we're the only people here and it's dark and quite... but it's not just uncomfortable.

It's also special, lovely and romantic...

I've never had this feeling before. This cold air around my neck and my face, the wind in my hair and Louis' warm hand around mine.

We go straight through the park and I wonder if he knows the way back to his house.

"Where are we?" I interrupt the nocturnal silence and Louis turns around so he can look into my eyes. But I doubt that he is able to see my face in the darkness. "You'll see that soon" he whispers and kisses my forehead.

It's a wonderful feeling to be with Louis when he's so cute. I'm glad he doesn't behave like an asshole anymore but I know that he can change his mood within seconds.

"Do you feel cold?" he asks and I nod.

Then I realise that he probably can't see that so I answer "Yes, I do, Louis. It's amazing to be here with you but it's very cold..."

"No problem" he says and pulls his hand out of mine.

A few seconds later he hands me his jacket...

"Oh... Louis" I stutter "um... you needn't do that for me."

"But I want to"

"Thanks."

"I love you, Diana."

"I love you, too, Louis."

It's a bit strange to say these words although we aren't in a relationship but I know it's the truth.

He takes my hand again and we go on walking through the park.

It's much warmer with his jacket but I worry about Louis. I don't want him to feel cold, either...

"Do you see this spot in the dark?" Louis whispers and points with his free hand to a small light spot.

"Yea, I do. What's that?"

"Come with me. I'll show you something."

We come closer and closer to the spot and it gets bigger and bigger until I see that it's a bonfire.

There are many people and it's amazing!

It's dark and cold outside but the bonfire is warm and shines bright.

Most of the people are our age or a bit older than us and they all seem to enjoy the bonfire.

"Oh my god, Louis! That's beautiful! Did you know about the bonfire?"

He puts his arms around my waist and pulls me closer to him.

"Yes" he breathes before he kisses me "Yes, I did."

It's a long and romantic kiss which says more than thousand words could ever do. There are so many feelings and Louis' lips feel so hot and soft on mine.

I can feel the love, the trust, the faith and the hope. The hope that we can be forever together.

I don't know if these feelings are there but I know they're in this special kiss with Louis.

He slides his tongue into my mouth and I put my hands on his cheeks. Their hot and I enjoy this moment of love and happiness.

When we separate our lips from each other he takes my hand again and we watch the flames of the bonfire.

Somehow the bonfire is similar to Louis. It sounds odd- but it's the truth.

The bonfire is beautiful when you can watch it but if you are too close to the fire it gets dangerous and you're gonna be hurt if you don't watch out.

It's the same like being close to Louis. I love being with him and he is also beautiful but after I got closer to him, well, after I fell in love with him, he started hurting me in different ways.

The fire does what it wants to do. It looks like the little flames are dancing to their own music and nobody can tell them what to do next.

They are lovely, but unpredictable.

Just like Louis.

He does what he wants to do and it doesn't matter who tries to talk to him- he won't answer until he feels like answering.

I never know what he's going to do next.

He is lovely, but unpredictable.

I don't know what time it is and I don't know how long we stayed there, just standing next to each other, kissing or holding hands and watching the bonfire.

I've never seen such a big fire before and it's fantastic to be there with Louis.

But we can't stay the whole night so we have to go home.

I'm really sad that this night trip with Louis is over but I hope we can go there again.

Luckily Louis knows the way back because it's pretty cold and I want to sleep.

I'm really glad when we arrive at Louis' house and I'm so tired that I forget to brush my teeth. I just lay down on Louis' bed and close my eyes.

"Good night, love" I hear him say before I fall asleep.