I Will Wait [Jessie J]

Chapter 20 - The Truth About Me

*Jessie's pov*

I had been crying all evening. My head hurt and my tear ducts were dry to the bone. I still wanted to cry, I wanted to crawl into the darkness and just stay there. I looked at the clock on the oven, it was 21:14 already? I'd been crying for so long... This is the best party I've ever been to! Can you hear the sarcasm in my thoughts?

"Guys, I'm so sorry... I've ruined the night now." I apologised

"Are you okay now?" Holly asked

"No not really." I replied truthfully, I couldn't lie to them about my feelings anyway. The both of them could read me like a book.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Holly suggested

"I guess... Em, are you okay?" I asked, she'd been awfully still and quite since the phone call.

"Erm... I don't know. But you're going first Jess, I've explained my feeling so much already today, I need a break."

"Okay... Holly you already know this but I need to fill Emma in so here goes." I turned so I was facing Emma, "When I was 19, a friend introduced me to a girl named Kira Curtis-Howard. We became close and lived together for a while. We fell in love even though my friends and family didn't really like her. I first noticed something was wrong when our parents first met. I was 21, it was a few months after filming Do It Like A Dude and Kira and I had been in a relationship for just over a year and I had fallen so hard for her. Anyway, my mum flinched when Karl, Kira's dad pulled her in for a friendly hug. I found it all to strange, so that night I persuaded Kira to go and stay with her parents whilst I stayed with mine." I paused, I could already feel the tears building up and it took all my energy to hold them back. "It was that night that I found out my dad wasn't my dad." Emma's face when I said this made me smile. "He'll always be my dad, but he's not my biological dad. My biological dad is Karl Curtis-Howard, Kira's dad. He raped my mum 26 years ago but when my mum found out she was pregnant she couldn't find it in herself to have an abortion. The next day, Kira came to pick me up from my parents and kidnapped me. She was in on a plan made by her dad, so he could... He r...ra" I couldn't say it and all the tears came flooding out. Holly came over and embraced me in a hug. I preferred crying into Emma, I felt more safe in Emma's arms, but Holly will do for now. I looked up to see Emma, sat there staring into space with no expression on her face, just tears streaming down her cheeks but I carried on, "It was Christmas day when it stopped. He had gone to see his family in Yorkshire and took me up with him. Anyway a girl walked in on us. She saved my life and I am eternally grateful to her, I wish I could meet her though. I wouldn't be surprised if she was in a mental home after what she saw. It got worse everytime he did it.... I would go home with more and more cuts and bruises everyday. By the end he had started using hot things and burnt me." I paused as I couldn't speak anymore because of the tears that were escaping my face. Holly didn't know about the girl. She didn't know why or how it stopped, I could never bring myself to think about it. Emma was propper full on crying now... "Em... Are you okay?" Was all I could say, it was probably the most stupid question ever.

"Erm... I don't know. I um... I need to ring some people about the weekend... You don't mind if I..." Emma replied. Fuck. I've probably scared her off

"No, go ahead." I tried to hide my sadness but I think it showed, at least at the moment I have an excuse. Emma got up and pulled her phone out of her pocket and started to walk away.

"Hang on Em, I need a word." Holly announced and followed her out leaving me alone, lost in my thoughts, which probably wasn't a good idea.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. Feedback is welcome :)

Emma xx