I Will Wait [Jessie J]

Chapter 60 - You'll Be in My Heart, Always.

*Jessie's pov*

As soon as I got in I stripped down to my underwear and threw myself into bed. I laid awake for hours, my mind going into complete overdrive. Why was Emma so scared to let me go? I wanted to stay but I knew it wasn't right. The thing Emma mumbled into me sounded something like "You'll forget." What did she think that? It can't have been her she'd thought I'd forget could it? I do my best to remember every Heartbeat I ever meet and I'd never ever be able to forget Emma even if I wanted to, which I don't. I don't ever want to have to forget Emma. I want to be with Emma forever. Properly together. With a family. Woah Jess, getting a bit ahead of yourself there! I don't know anymore, I just know that I need Emma, just the brushing of our lips made me feel so alive. The butterflies seemed to like it too. I want Emma to feel happy and safe again. I know she says she does feel like that but the breakdown earlier proves to me that she isn't. I understand that it'll take time for Emma to completely trust me and tell me what she's worrying about, but I'll wait and be patient until she does. I just can't see why Emma would think like that.

I rolled over and nearly squished Jackson, bless him. I haven't really paid much attention to him recently. I'll take him on a nice long walk after the hangout tomorrow, down to the church. I haven't been for ages, it will be nice to go and just let everything out. It will cause some controversy though. I remember saying I wasn't religious. I never used to be and that's why I said it, not because I'm ashamed. I wrote a song about it actually and it's going on the album, it's about how I was in the dark but I've found the light and it feels so good to have someone to talk to that's not here and doesn't judge. I get lifted up to the clouds and I can fight through the rain with His help. Knowing today's society everyone will think it's about sex.

I cuddled up to Jackson who snuggled into me. He always knows when I need a hug. I'm glad Holly and Clair persuaded me to buy him. He's gorgeous. I closed my eyes for the last time that night with Emma still on my mind. I just don't know why she thinks I would have forgotten her. I'm going to make it my priority to find out.

I woke up to banging on the door at six o'clock. I threw on a dressing gown over my underwear and made my way downstairs. Not forgetting to trip over Jackson, I opened the door to my band. I couldn't help but smile as Lewie came in for a hug. "Jess, it's true! You've really moved to Wales?"

"No I'm just living in a random person's house whilst they're on holiday in Spain." I replied sarcastically which earned me a punch in the arm from Lewie. "Anyway, why are you here so early?"

"We have to set up and rehearse... Damn girl you've had too much time off." Ginger spoke up.

"Giiiinge." I moaned in annoyance.

"Show us where we can set up, go ave a shower and get dressed or whatever and we'll make breakfast." Manger Mark interrupted pushing through.

I showed them where to set up and joined them half an hour later for breakfast. It was great being with the team and having a laugh but I just couldn't get last nights events out of my head. How as soon as I mentioned leaving Emma's demeanor completely changed. "So who's this girl we've heard about Jess?" Ginger asked.

"Yeah you look a bit tired... Did you have a busy night last night." Lewie teased whilst him and Ginger fell to the floor with laughter.

"She's fourteen Lew." I stated.

"You're fucking a fourteen year old girl? You could be done for rape!" I know it was a joke. I know Lewie didn't know what happened but it still hurt. A lot. I just had to leave before something I happened that I'd regret.

"It's just a bit of banter Jess." I muttered to myself. Random walking around my house. I found myself in Emma's room and I smiled slightly. I can't wait to see her again. Part of me wants to go down and get her now but it's only seven and hopefully she's still sleeping. "Jess?" Phebe in the doorway. I nodded so she came in. "He was only joking. We all know you wouldn't do that."