I Will Wait [Jessie J]

Chapter 100 - I Will Wait

AUTHOR'S NOTE: WARNING ABOUT HOMOPHOBICNESS. THESE ARE NOT MY OPINIONS AS I AM A LESBIAN MYSELF. ANY LGBT ACTION AND RAINBOWS ARE ACCEPTED HERE :D ENJOY xx

*Emma's pov*

I shuffled as I woke up. I passed out just as I was on the cusp of my climax. My body ached as the orgasm simply ebbed away. I'd had that pain in my chest again whilst Jess was pleasuring me. Recently I had been able to control it and make it go away, however as I let go to allowed myself to climax, I had to let go of what was stopping me from passing out and unfortunately the pain took over my body before my pleasures even got close.

I looked around the room and frowned when I saw Jess with her back to me pulling things quickly out of the wardrobe and into her suitcase. It wasn't like her usual neat folding and packing tightly, all her clothes were literally being thrown in. It took until Jess zipped up her suitcase that I realised that her side of the wardrobe was almost completely empty. Not only was she leaving, but she was leaving me.

"Jess?" I asked. My voice was husky from both the sex and passing out. I heard Jess take in a shakey breath before I cleared my throat, "darling, where are you going?" I'd accidentally called Jess darling the other week and she claimed to like it, so it stuck.
Jess turned around slowly and took in a deep breath, "I'm leaving." She said simply not showing any emotion in her voice.
"You're coming back aren't you?" I could hear the fear in my own voice. I don't know what would happen if Jess left me for good. I could barely last a week without Jess being by my side.
"No." Was all I recieved before gaining another pain in my chest. It was different this time though. It was an ache more than a pain and right over my heart instead of my ribs.
"W-why?" I got no answer as Jess turned and picked her suitcase up. "Wait, Jess." I spoke up, "This is your house. Let me go. You stay here." Maybe all she needed was space. I still had no response but I could tell she was thinking about it. "If we can't be together... We can still be friends. Right?" I heard Jess sigh before she nodded. "Thank you." I spoke quietly as I got up. "Just text me if  you need me." I sighed as I looked at Jess once more. "I'll get my stuff later." Jess nodded and she had tears brimming her eyes. She obviously didn't want this, so why was she doing it?

I shoved my hands in my pocket and kept my head down as I left the house that used to be my home. Had I really just broken up with Jess? I couldn't make much sense of the situation at hand and I knew thinking about it wouldn't help one bit; but that's all I could do. My heart ached with every thump as it shattered into a million pieces and fixed itself within each and every heart beat. Fuck it hurt to be away from her. It hurt to  not sleep with her by my side. How was I supposed to treat her as just a friend? How was I supposed to not get jealous when she moved on (which I pressumed would be fairly soon, I was obviously not that special to her) and got herself a new partner who treated her properly and loved her like I should've loved her? Nearly everyone said that we were perfect together... So where did that go wrong?

I was scared about my future. I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself. Should I tell Rachel and Lucy what's happened or should I wait to see if it all blows over in the morning? I was hoping it was just one of those arguments that just sorted themselves out because I wasn't even fifty percent sure what I had done to make Jess behave in this way, apart from the fact that I passed out whilst we were making love... I trusted her with everything. She's seen more of me than anyone else has. I allowed her to take my virginity, my pureness. Now it feels like she stole it away from me and threw it in the bin like it wasn't a big deal. It took a lot for me to be able to feel comfortable doing it with Jess when I knew I couldn't love anyone else a fraction as much as I loved her, how was I supposed to let anyone else do that?

Tears were streaming down my face and blurring my vision, it was almost getting to the point where I couldn't see anything at all, so I took a deep breath and looked up and wiped away my tears. I was looking down the short passage that went between two hedges that lead to my house. Standing under the dim light of the street lamp was him. His fists were clentched and his body tensed as if he was ready to pounce on me. I swallowed as I felt his glare bore into me and it hurt. The man who once was my father had caught me at a bad time. I hadn't seen him for nearly two years, but Jess and I just broke up, I wasn't feeling as emotionally strong I should be to face him. I felt weak and vulnerable.