I Will Wait [Jessie J]

Chapter 66 - Don't Say Goodbye Because Goodbye Means Forever

*Jessie's pov*

I woke up the next morning wrapped up in Emma's arms. We'd eventually gone to sleep at around three after our very eventful game of Truth or Dare. Our kiss. Clair's dare for Emma. It was the most amazing thing I've felt in my life. Nobody's ever made me feel like that before and it's definitely something I want to feel again. She had me pulled in to the kiss straight always. I didn't even hesitate to kiss her. The first time out lips touched, sparks ignited in my body and butterflies appeared in my stomach and my whole body tingled with excitement, wonder and lust. I need Emma's lips on mine constantly. I need to feel what I felt earlier but it's just not fair on her. It wouldn't be fair for Emma to have only had sex with one person in her life. She needs to experiment. Different people have different ways of doing it and she might not like my way. If I had Emma, I'd have to keep her forever, she's already the only one that can keep me going and I don't know what I'd do without her. I wouldn't be alive if I hadn't met her. If I ever pushed her away or upset her then it would be the end of me, or me as everyone knows me. If I had Emma, and I was able to call her mine, the only thing I'd want to do is make her happy.

I nearly took the kiss too far. I had to stop it before I showed her how much I needed her. I had to stop it before I gave Clair and Holly a show the would never forget. I had to stop it before I stole Emma's precious virginity. She's only fifteen and I don't know how far I would have taken it, I don't know how far she would have let me take it. Emma was very surprised at the force of my retreat and to be honest so was I, but I had to. I just had to.

I laid with Emma holding me close to her body. Her hot, steady breath on my neck sending pleasurable shivers down my back. I sighed staring into Holly mop of red curls. I know without Holly and Clair, who was sleeping behind Emma, I wouldn't have got that far in my career or my life and they're both leaving. They're leaving to pursue their dreams like I did with mine so there's no way I'd stop them and thank fuck it's not forever. I closed my eyes reminiscing on all our memories I had with my girls, from when we first me when we were three until my stroke, from my eighteenth birthday to my twenty first, the release of Who You are to now, the release of Alive and all the bits in between. These girls, now the three of them, will stay with me for the rest of my life.

I heard shuffling from behind me and it wasn't Emma so Clair must be stirring. I'm going to miss Clair so much, even she doesn't know when she'll be back. I look up to Clair so much. She's been through her fair, or unfair, share of shit. She's been so unlucky in the boyfriend department. Every single bloke she's brought home has used her, either for a fuck or her money, because Clair isn't short of cash. I could say the same. I've always been used or fucked over. Actually, there was this one guy, I think his name was Robbie Fenwick, he was the sweetest guy you could ever meet but he got some form of rare heart disease and died a year and a half into their relationship. Clair was devastated, but she picked herself up and made her into the beautiful, confident girl she is today. "Jess?" A whisper broke me away from my thoughts. "Jess are you awake?"

"No Clair. I'm fast asleep." I whispered sarcastically.

"Will you promise me something?" She asked a little louder.

"Yeah. Of course." I smiled but realised she couldn't see me.

"When I'm away, I want you and Emma to get together. I just want you to try because you two look so perfect together like that. Emma's going to make you happy. I can't tell." I could hear the smile in her voice and I want to keep Clair happy today because it's our last day together.

"Look at you going all Mystic Meg on me." I teased.

"Says you!" Clair exclaimed and threw a pillow at me which caused Emma to wriggle around and release her grip from me. I automatically felt cold and lonely without her touch, so I got up and signalled for Clair to come and sit next to me on the sofa. "Seriously though Jess." She looked me in the eye, "You and Emma will be so happy together." She smiled and lay her head in my shoulder.