I Will Wait [Jessie J]

Chapter 75 - 9th October 2013 - Always

*Emma's POV*

Jess was home by the time I got home from school that day, which I was pleased about. I loved being able to just come home and chill with Jess. I get to forget all my problems and just live in that moment. I wouldn't say the problems were as bad as they were at the end of last year and they don't really bother me any more, but there's still a lot of bitchiness and they've formed a friendship group against my friendship group. We try our best to stay away from them but it doesn't always work. I never tell Jess what's going on because I know she'll worry about it all.

A week and a half passed and the friendship between Jess and I has become a little bit awkward, but Clair (yes, she's still here) keeps telling me to persevere with Jess although she's showed no signs of remembering that she likes girls. That she apparently likes me.

Clair's never left my side. I'm still a little uncomfortable about it, but I'm getting slowly used to it. I'm also getting used to thinking about what I'm saying and not actually saying it. I've had a few conversations in school with Clair and I get some weird looks because it looks like I'm talking to myself. I once made the mistake of doing that going towards PE. The other girls have PE at the same time as me so you can guess how well that went.

We'd gone up to Essex for Clair's funeral on the 5th October. Everyone including Clair was there, you could tell she found it strange going to her own funeral, she was constantly looking behind her shoulder as though she was checking to see of anyone else could see her. Jess made a beautiful eulogy about Clair. Danny was supposed to but he couldn't speak, he was sobbing so much. I held him tightly as Holly made one instead.

We stayed at Jess parents then for that weekend. I slept in Jess' bed with her for those three nights, holding her tightly and trying to comfort her as she cried herself to sleep, whilst Clair just sat in the corner and quietly. I don't like it when Clair is quiet. She's too ghostly then. I do have to admit sometimes I forget that she's dead and no one else can see her.

I also gave Jess her twitter back after what happened and I still can't decide whether that was a good idea or not.

I managed to haggle a day off school, 9th of October, to be precise. It would've been mums birthday and I didn't feel up to going to school. It took half an hour of begging Lucy to let me stay off school but she finally gave in. I haven't seen much of Rachel recently, which is strange considering I live with her.

Lucy left for school so I ran up the stairs to see Rachel. I knocked on the bedroom door and heard a groggy "Come in." I sat on the edge of the bed and brushed the hair out of her face. "What do you want Em?" She asked.

"Rach, I haven't seen you for days." I replied.

"And?"

"I'm worried about you." I spoke honestly.

"I'm fine."

"You really expect me to believe that?" I was being stern and probably quite harsh. "Rach, you're hardly eating and you're staying in this dark room all day. Lucy isn't as happy as she used to be because she hardly sees you anymore."

"Shouldn't you be in school?" She tried to change the subject.

"Nope. Training day."

"On a Wednesday?" She sounded suspicious. I sighed.

"Lucy said I could have the day off. I'm not feeling brilliant today."

"Neither am I."

"That's the whole point. You're gonna be up and dressed in half an hour. There'll be breakfast waiting for you."

I left the door open as I exited for that cat to go and annoy Rachel, maybe it'll make her get up. I text Jess to see if she could come down for a bit whilst I sorted Rachel out and she agreed. Half an hour later I was miraculously sat, eating breakfast with Jess and Rachel. "So is there any reason you wanted me up for this occasion?" Rachel asked whilst moving her baked beans around the plate.