I Will Wait [Jessie J]

Chapter 70 - Visiting

*Emma's pov*

Rose and Steve, or mum and dad, released my hand and stopped in their tracks and I stopped with them. "Why don't you go in? Jess will want you there with her." Dad placed his hand on my back and pushed me forward a little.
"Come with me?" I asked, I was still scared of what could be behind those doors.
"Only two people can be in there at a time. Holly is already there." Well that explained it.
"Go on, love." Mum encouraged. I showed them both a small smile and walked through the doors.

Beep. Beep. Beep. The sound of the heart monitor and the sound of the ventilator helping her to breathe were the only sounds I heard first. I took in a deep breath as the image hit me. Although Jess looked as though she had some life in her, it wasn't enough to make her look healthy, but of course there's a reason fo that; she's not. None of us knew whether she was ever going to be the same again.

I looked over towards Holly, who had carefully grasped Jessie's hand, avoiding any wires and tubes. Holly had turned her chair so she was facing Jess and away from the door. She was slightly hunched over, taking regular sniffs. She lifted her arm, I'm guessing to wipe her eyes, sniffed again and tunred around. "Oh it's you." Holly greeted coldly. Well it looks like I have a new best friend. Naaaaaaaaat!
"Yup. It's me." I stated as I started to walk around to Jessie's other side and pull up a chair.
"Don't bother sitting down. You're not staying." She said sternly.
"Why not?" I snapped.
"Why not?!" Holly shouted. "Why fucking not?! Because you broke your promise. That's why."
"I can't be here twentyfour seven. I wa-" I tried making my excuse but Holly cut me off.
"I don't give a fuck what you were doing! You should have been there when Jess needed you!" Holly completely exploded. What she said was true but mum and dad say it wasn't my fault... And so did the Clair in my dream. Although that was just a dream.
"I didn't know Clair had died until a few hours ago! How could I have been there? When I last saw Jess she was perfectly happy." I tried to remain calm but it's difficult when someone is shouting at you, blamig you for your bestfriend/lover's death.
"You have no right to speak her name! Clair trusted you as much as she trusted Danny, which is more than me! She dies and this is how you fucking repay her?!" Holly stood up and strode over to me. The colour of her face almost matching her hair in anger.
"It's not as if you were there for Jess either." I stated simply after Holly had got in my face.
"Well I would have been if you hadn't of fucking dragged her down here in the first place. If she hadn't have replied to your fucking tweet then maybe I'd still have at least one best friend." She spat.
"You didn't even know she self harmed! What a great best friend you are."
"Ladies." A nurse entered the room behind us. "Can I remind you that Miss Cornish is in a coma and can probably hear everything you're shouting like the whole hospital can."
"Sorry." We both mumbled our apology and shuffled our feet.
"If you want Miss Cornish to get better, she needs peace and quiet with some quiet talking added to it. Clear?" We both nodded. "Well one of you will have to leave."
"I'm going anyway. I'm not staying where I'm not wanted." I muttered and left through the doors with tears running down my cheeks.

I entered the relative's room and sat at the opposite end to everyone else. I brought my knees up and hugged my legs and just cried. I cried and cried because Holly's right. If I had never have brought her down here she wouldn't be in this state. She wouldn't have the weight of my problems to deal with as well as her own. I thought I was helping but the only thing I've done was depress her even more. "Em?" Danny asked. He'd knelt down in front of me but I ignored him. I wanted to be alone. "Em, it's not that bad. Jess is getting better."
"But Holly hates me." I whispered.
"What? Why?" Danny asked obviously confused.
"When Holly and Clair were down on the weekend, I promised them I'd look after Jess and I wouldn't let her get hurt. I failed them Dan. I'm no good for Jess. All I've done is hurt her." I sobbed and fell into his arms on the floor. Danny's hug was nothing like Jessie's. Nothing like what I needed. I needed Jess to be okay. I needed to be in her arms where I feel safe. We sat like that for a few minutes whilst my sobs quietened down and my tears became slower.
"Em, our Jess is a fighter. She's gonna get through this. She's gonna fight because she knows she has people who care about her, and she cares about you." Mum stepped over to us and helped me up. She engulfed me in her arms and rubbed my back. "The way she looks at you Em, she loves you. She'd never leave you behind."
"But she tried. She tried to leave me... and everyone." I stated.
"I know but in her letter you could see she was sorry." Steve added.
"I haven't read mine... I don't want to either." I admitted.
"You don't have to honey. Look I'm going to go and see Jess. Holly will have to leave then if you come with me." I nodded and took hold of Mum's hand.