I Will Wait [Jessie J]

Chapter 38 - The drive Home

*Emma's pov*

The drive back to Charlotte's was okay. I mean, it wasn't anything special, it only lasted five minutes anyway. The car ride back to mine wasn't so good though. There was tension, and a lot of it. I don't even know why. It's not as if we've had an argument. I was quite quiet with Charlotte so maybe Jess sensed that I'm not really up for talking.

"So where am I taking us?" She asked. Obviously not.

"Home." I said bluntly and regretted it straight away. Jess looked a bit hurt.

"My house or yours?" She quickly glanced at me.

"Mine I guess. I need to pack for the weekend and my cousins are coming round." I sighed an involuntary sigh. I don't really want to speak to them but I guess I need to.

"What's up?" Jess asked after some time of silence. I sighed again.

"I'm just worried about Rachel, that's all." I lied. I was scared of telling Jess about the Facebook conversation. Not because I don't want her to know, but I don't want to worry her with it and I definitely don't want her to cancel the trip tomorrow.

"I'm sure she'll be fine Em." Jess replied

"But she's not like us though." I sighed.

''What do you mean?''

''Well... She's not as strong willed as us. I guess she has nothing really to look to at the moment, she hasn't got a job like you do. She only has me, you and Lucy.'' Maybe it wasn't exactly a lie. I was worried about Rachel.

''As you said, she has got us. And as long as we stand by her, she will be absolutely fine.'' She smiled as she reassured me.

''Yeah, you're right Jess. We won't let her down.'' There's still twenty minutes until we get home. It's going to be a long journey.

The silence was deadly. It had only been five minutes but for some reason the radio wasn't on and it's like none of us wanted to move just incase we'd agrivate each other. The only movement was the occasional opening of the mouth from Jess. She obviously wanted to say something but thought she was walking on thin ice and didn't want to say anything just in case. She actually looked like a fish.

''I didn't know you could do impressions of a fish.'' I said to lighten the mood. Jess smiled but didn't say anything. ''I know you have something to say, and I promise I won't snap at whatever it is.'' She took a deep breath in before she spoke.

''Are you going to be okay tonight?'' I didn't understand what she was trying to say so I waited for her to continue. ''It's just... I really care about you Em. I hate seeing you hurt and if you go home to your house. I won't be there to make sure you're ok. What if you have a nightmare and I'm not there? What if I have a nightmare and you're not there? I don't feel safe at night without you anymore...'' Jess admitted. Maybe Holly was right. Maybe she does like me like that.

Stop. Stop now. She can't possibly like you like that. She just cares about you as a friend and nothing more. It's like she does about Danny, Will and Tom. It's nothing more than a close friendship.

''Jess, in all fairness, I feel like that too. But, what will happen when you go on tour? I won't be able to come, I'll have school and my GCSEs to work on. We've got to get used to not being able to be there for each other all the time. I'm just a phone call away. What ever time of night it is I'll always be there to answer and talk to you. And I know you'd do the same for me.'' She just looked straight at the road, which was probably a good thing considering she's driving, but I can still see the sadness in her face. ''Jess, you'll be seeing me really early in the morning anyway so there won't be very long to wait until you see me again. I promise to ring you if I have a nightmare if you promise to do the same.''

''I promise.'' She whispered, it was barely audible. ''You just worry about everyone else and never yourself and I love that about you but it worries me. You need to look after yourself too. Don't think second best, be number one.''

''If it worries you that much, then I'll try. I just don't see why people should worry about me, but I'm glad that you do. I would offer you the spare room but my cousins are coming and they'll probably have to stay the night.'' There was another short silence, ''What time are you picking me up in the morning?'' I asked changing the subject.

''Well how long does it take to get there?''

''Errrm between four or five hours including a McDonalds break just past Tamworth. It's junction 11 on the M52. However with you driving... It could take considerably longer...'' I joked. She punched me playfully on the arm. ''Ouch!'' I whined

''Okay well I'll pick you up at four thirty.'' My jaw dropped. ''We don't want to be driving back to London too late.''

''Okay then. Ring me at four so I wake up.'' I told her sternly.

''Will do! I'm really excited.'' She exclaimed.

''Why?'' I asked confused

''Because I get to meet your family.'' She smiled, my heart sank like The Titanic. Some of my family don't want to know me anymore, I don't know what they'd be like around Jess, especially if they found out it's her I've fallen for. ''What's the matter?''

''Nothing.'' I replied probably too quickly.

''I'm not stupid Em.''

''I never said you were.''

''So tell me the truth.'' She said sternly.

''I was just thinking about my family, how fucked up it is." I sighed and an involuntary tear left my eye.

"There are much more fucked up families around don't worry."

"How can you be so sure?'' I snapped. And I promised I wouldn't. ''Sorry, it's just it's hard to believe right now."

"It may seem like that but I promise you, it will get better. I know I haven't been in your current situation, but you've got me and Rach and Charl. We're not going anywhere.As long as you have us, you'll be happy."

"Thank you Jess. I can't thank you enough." I smiled.

"You don't have to. Just being here is enough."

Not long after, Jess pulled into my drive. There were no lights on in the house. No one's home. "Want me to stay for a bit?" Jess asked as she climbed out of the car.

"Yes please." I mumbled. I hadn't been in the house alone since Wednesday morning and I didn't really fancy it. Jess pulled the keys out of my hand as I started shaking. I'm not even sure why.

"Are you sure you're ok?" She asked again.

"Yeah." I tried to smile. "I just need to sit down. My foot hurts. Whenever I'm in a certain amount of pain, I feel sick and faint. Now is that time." As I said this the door opened. I hopped in on my crunches and plonked myself on the forty year old sofa. Yeah, it was my Nana's before ours... It had a solid oak frame and it is sooo uncomfortable. I can't wait until the new one comes, which is sometime in September so it's ages away.

"How much have you packed for tomorrow?" Jessie asked

"Errrm.... Nothing." I looked away.

"I'll do it. You sit here and rest your foot."

"Thanks Jess, everything will be in my wardrobe and draws." She smiled in acknowledgement and danced her way up the stairs. The way she walks has me so mesmerised its unbelievable. I shook my head to get those thoughts out if my head.

I decided that I should message Shelly and tell her I'm home. It was about half eleven so the sooner the better I guess.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello! There's probably loads of mistakes in this but I'm currently part of a very awkward Skype conversation... Me, @jessiejhearts and @JadeWithers are trying to write a fanfic together... We have an account called @threecornishpasties. I have no idea when it will be up but I'll keep you posted :D

Also @jessiejhearts made the amazing cover so thank you!!! :D

Thank you for reading, commenting and voting!

Emma xx