Heimkehr

Angry people say stupid stuff

„Ja?" rief ich genervt.
„It's me, Sami. Open up!"
Ich seufzte, ging zur Tür und öffnete. Sami grinste schief und lehnte mit der Schulter am Türrahmen.
„Hey! May I come in?"
Ich nickte, ging zurück ins Zimmer, ließ mich in den Sessel am Fenster fallen und zog an meiner Zigarette. Sami schloss die Tür und setzte sich auf das Fußende des Bettes mir gegenüber.
„I asked for your room number downstairs. I'm really sorry for this chaos. If I would have known, that you're here, we could have talked about this.... thing with you and Samu. Mikko is really a little stressed out."
"Mikko." Meinte ich verächtlich und zog die Augenbrauen hoch.
„I talked to him. He told the truth. There was no good moment for telling Samu, that you're here, but he wanted to. They both had a terrible fight about a phone call Mikko made after the concert in May. I remember that. Samu was really angry. Reeeeeeally! I thought this was the reason why you both broke up, but Samu told me, that it was your decision to leave and that Mikko wasn't the reason. That's all I know about your break up. He didn't talk a lot about that."
"In fact he threw me out of the house." Meinte ich.
"What? No."
"Yes. But when I came home before I left to LA, I think he changed his mind. He left me something at the home studio, but it was too late for me. I didn't open it. I think that is why he's really mad at me."
"Why did he throw you out."
"Angry people say stupid stuff. That's what I did too. I hurt him really bad and I know that. I'm here, because I wanted to tell him, that I lied with all this words and that I'm sorry. Also, that I didn't open his message."
Sami nickte, stand vom Bett auf und zeigte auf meine Zigaretten auf dem Tisch.
„May I?"
„Sure."
Er zündete eine an, nahm den Aschenbecher und setzt sich wieder auf das Fußende.
„I know Samu for, I don't know... like forever. And I know how he acts after break ups. I experienced a few with him, but now he acts different. Normally he drinks like crazy and is partying still he feels better. Hanging out with Jukka while working on music. This time he just comes over to the shows or he is on his own. He spent a lot of time home or at the Mökki. We met two times in Helsinki for a couple of drinks and dinner and he always told me, that he was on his own the whole week. I think I'm the only guy of us, who knows a little more about his situation. He acts normal, but he is much calmer than before you guys split. And always on his own. That is something which is not typical for him."
"Yes. Always alone. I saw that on the rooftop, how alone he is basically." Meinte ich sarkastisch.
"This was the first time I saw him like that. Believe me, he had chances, but he wasn't interested."
"But tonight he seems to be."
"And if I didn't know, that you're here, I might ne happy about this, because he seems to feel better."
Der hatte gesessen. Ich sah wütend zu ihm rüber.
„Don't get me wrong. Samu is my friend and of course I want him to be happy, but I know him good enough to know, that he isn't."
"I thought you might come over now, telling me, that our relationship is poison and that I should fuck off, because Samu might not be happy to see me and will spread bad mood between the band during the tour, like Mikko does."
"He can really act like an asshole, when he's hurt. His mood in Hannover was terrible. I tried to talk to him after the concert and he just gave me some sarcastic statements. I'm good in ignoring things, but Mikko isn't. Like you said "Angry people say stupid things". Mikko is a hothead and I know, that he likes you, but Samu has always been a little difficult, when he is stressed and Mikko spent a lot of time with him in the last month. All the time in Germany and in Spain. The other guys and me did not get it. It was totally wrong to call you and he knows that. Samu was so angry at him, that Mikko interfered into your relationship. I thought he would beat the shit out of him."
Wir mussten beide lachen.
"Mikko won't do that again and he would have told Samu, that you're here, when he would have had some time. I'm sure."
"Whatever. Samu is yours now. He seems to have fun upstairs, so it's really nice from you to defend Mikko and wash his dirty sheets clean, but that's not changing my situation."
"What's your situation?"
Ich seufzte und zündete mir noch eine Zigarette an.
„It's okay, if you don't wanna talk about that with me." Grinste er schief und hob die Hände.
Ich lachte leise und ließ meine Beine über die Armlehne des Sessels baumeln.
„I miss him."
Sami nickte.
„I messed it up and I'm sorry for that. I came here to found out, if he could forgive me or maybe first talk to me and see what happens. But it seems to be too late."
Ich zuckte mit den Schultern und blinzelte die Tränen weg, die sich wieder ankündigten.
„I'm sorry." Nuschelte ich. „I usually don't cry in front of others."
"It's okay. We all have been in that situation. It hurts. Seems like you had a bad timing upstairs. He really wasn't dating girls or making out or something. He would never make a secret of that. He was always on his own. I think, that he's just celebrating the golden record and tries to feel better."
Ich zuckte die Schultern.
"Looked like he already forgot me."
"I'm pretty sure he didn't. If it were like that, he would have acted different the last weeks. A few days after the fight with Mikko he came to us and told, that you both broke up. He said, that he was fine, after I asked him, but I don't think that was the truth."
"Maybe it was not a good idea to come over here. I just thought, that I could awake some nice memories. This is the place when everything started."
Ich sah mich im Zimmer um und lächelte.
"At SoHo House in Berlin. I know. He told us about your reunion last year."
"In this room."
"This?" fragte er.
"Yes. Right here. We almost spent 3 month in here."
Sami sprang vom Bett auf, wischte sich über die Rückseite seiner Hose, als würde er sich Schmutz abklopfen und setzte sich in den Sessel.
„Idiot. That was not what I was taking about." Lachte ich.
"Oh yes, it was. I know Samu." grinste er und nahm sich noch eine meiner Zigaretten.
„Now I know while we had that talk when we checked in. He was asking about a room. I couldn't listen to all. The girl said that it was already booked, but then he asked for room 60. So I thought that was the room, where he lived during "The Voice"."
"That was mine. My room was number 60. Samu was in here. I asked for my room, but It was booked, so I asked for this."
"I think that's proof enough for you, that he hasn't forgot you. I feel so sorry for you both. You've been such a nice couple, but you had a lot of problems and a lot of fights. I know, that he's moody and difficult sometimes and I don't know much about your break up and what I know is only Samus sight- But nevertheless, I know, that he was crazy in love with you. We all know. You both seemed to be so happy at the New Years Eve and at the concert in Helsinki. I remember, that he was so fucking happy, when you bought the studio. We said something like "I think I don't have to be afraid, that she'll leave to LA again." That was a big thing for him."
"For me too." Lachte ich.
"I don't wanna come between you two. It's your thing, but I don't think, that it might be a good idea, to talk to him tonight. He seems to be engaged otherwise and he is drunk. This won't lead to nothing. Maybe you'll find a better timing. I'll tell him, that I talked to you. He'll rip my head of, but I don't mind."
Er lachte und drückte seine Zigarette aus.
„Thank you, Sami."
„No problem. I'd like to see his stupid face while telling him." grinste er.
"By the way. I don't think, that you relationship was poison. People always say, that couples don't fit to each other, when they are too similar. I don't think that. I'm stubborn and difficult sometimes too and Suzanna is just like me. You know her." Lachte er.
"And it's okay. I could never be married to a girl, who is always on my side and doesn't represent her personal opinion. This could work. I'm the proof. Mikko seems to have another opion about that. Of course. Liisa is the man at home."
Wir lachten beide laut auf.
"Yes. I think you're right. I never thought about it in that kinda way."
"I think I have to go back to the boys. There is a lot to celebrate."
"Oh yes. I totally forgot. Congratiulations! Good job."
"Thank you. What an honor to hear that from somebody who has more golden records, than we all together."
Ich streckte ihm die Zunge aus und wir standen aus den Sesseln auf. Sami drückte mich und ging Richtung Tür.
„Have a save flight back to LA."
"To Helsinki."
"Helsinki?"
"I'm not in LA. Do you remember? I bought a studio."
Er sah mich überrascht an.
„What? You're in Finnland?"
"Yes." Lachte ich.
Er fuhr sich durch die Haare und schnaufte.
„I had no idea. Samu said, that you left him after fighting and that you don't like Helsinki. It sounds like that was the most important reason of your break up."
"That was the stupid talk of angry people. I said that. I was angry. Wasn't the truth. I spent 1 ½ weeks in LA to check business stuff and then I came back."
"Wait." Meinte er, ging zielstrebig an mir vorbei, öffnete die Minibar und nahm zwei kleine Schnäpse heraus.
„We both could need one." grinste er und hielt mir einen vor die Nase.
„Welcome to Finnland." Lachte er. Wir stießen an und stürzten den Schnaps runter.
„I won't tell him yet. He should find that out by himself. Suzanna might be happy to hear that. Maybe I... ."
Wir zuckten zusammen. Im Flur polterte es und jemand brüllte. Wir konnte nichts verstehen und schlichen zur Tür. Sami öffnete einen Spalt und sah vorsichtig um die Ecke.
"IT'S IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! WHAT DO YOU WANT?" schrie die fremde Stimme.
„Sorry. I got the wrong door. Good night. Sorry."
Ich erstarrte und sah Sami an, der in dem Moment den Kopf wieder ins Zimmer zog. Samu! Ich ging weiter in den Raum und wieder stieg mein Puls ins Unermessliche.
„Sami?" hörte ich ihn auf dem Flur rufen. Zu spät. Er hatte ihn gesehen. Es folgte finnisches Vokabular von Samu und noch bevor Sami antworten konnte, stand er im Türrahmen und starrte mich über Samis Schulter hinweg an.
Er legte den Kopf schief und sah mich an.
„Look what I've found!"