Am I obsessed to her? That explains why I am so afraid of losing her? She looks at the picture in her phone, set as her wallpaper, her thumb softly rubs the screen, her chin resting on her knees that were brought up close to her chest.
She look at the pretty smile that Tiffany has on her face when they took this selca, her face was literally sticking right next to Tiffany's.
She shook the girl gently by the shoulder before planting a morning kiss at her temple, she smiles when she sees the girl stirs from her sleep, ready to come to her morning of today.
Maroon 5, She Will Be Loved playing behind them.
She rest her body on the bed with her elbows helping her upper part leans upwards.
She watch as Tiffany's eyelids slowly flutters open.
No, unlike those romantic kind of movies, their eyes did not met this morning first thing first.
Tiffany eyes is still gazing far, like she is doubting if she should get up right now, or just close her eyes again and goes back to where she has left, as she was wondering, her eyes slowly trails up, meeting the other black orbs. She smiled causing the corner of Tiffany's lip slowly curving upwards. Half of her smile was hidden by the pillow, but thankfully, the other half was shown to me
"Hello" I smile, for me, it's a great morning, to see this beautiful soul waking up to me, by my side.
By this time, the music changed.
Sunday Morning, Maroon 5.
Giving both of us some bubbly sense of feeling, though it's not a Sunday today.
But hey, any weekends still is a working day for us at times, so- no difference actually.
Who cares.
What matter most is this girl in front of me.
"Hi"
Her reply was barely audible, more like a whisper, but that smile, those eyes were curving into moon like crescent type like, enough to make me smile even wider, doesn't matter how silly I may look like now, but who gives any damn on that, especially when they have Tiffany Hwang as the girlfriend.
I like how whenever she is smile, her gesture is always like a teenager, she would smile so brightly yet tries to hide it.
I watch as if everything was being played slow-mo, her face turning inwards towards the pillow direction as she stifles her giggles, I took advantage of the situation, leaning forward and kisses her hand that was pulling the pillow up to cover her face, guess it caught her attention, she lets go of the pillow, her face now visible for me to look at.
Tiffany gathers all her morning strength as she lifts herself up tiredly off from the comfortable bed, but only to lean her upper half on me, her weight solely relying on me, I smiled, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, pulling her even closer to me- like it's even possible.
I watch as her shoulders heaves up and down with every breath she takes, my fingers tracing her bare arm, smooth enough to keep me going.
There we go, talking about what our schedules are for today.
Just like what we does.
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I unconsciously gets drifted away whenever I watch her talk or answering to our other members, or just anyone. Did I mentioned that her side profile is sexy? I like how her eyelashes would batters whenever she blinks or laughs, I like how her lips opens and close or how it would shapes in all kind of way depending on how she would answer or talk about. My favourite is how the corner of her lips would curves into a smile when she hears something that makes her happy or how her eyes would widens but slowly becomes her infamous eyesmile. That mole on her jawline, was smoking hot.
Sometimes, it felt like I could watch her all day and I won't ever bother to complain about that.
Perhaps I never would.
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Whenever she picks the movies that I didn't like, or the drama that I didn't watch since the first few episode, I just can't even be bothered to complain, I did, a few times, but her pleadings is what made me gives in at the end all the time, so why would I bother again to make her watch movies that I like and perhaps she just doesn't besides, watching her favourite movie equalize to me being able to watch every single of her cute reaction.
When the lovers in the movies confesses or gives each other a sweet passionate kiss, her face would blush, but she would smile and she would bring her finger close to her mouth as she bites her fingernails cutely, probably squealing on the inside of her heart.
Or how the characters has a sad or dramatic part, her eyebrows would furrow closely together like she is against what is happening or like how when the intense part of the movie, her body will be off from relaxing on the couch behind her and she would lean forward until the intense part is over.
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"No"
She stubborn protest, crossing her arms like a child as she huff and puff her cheeks, turning her head away to another direction, not looking at me. It's been almost half an hour of me pleading her to take her cough drops and she just wouldn't.
"Childish" I mutters under my breath, sure enough, she heard it and it never fails to amaze me how so, but I smirk as she has her jaw drops open wide at my sayings towards her acting now.
"Fine" she leaps off from the stool and heads straight to the living room, leaving me standing alone at the dining table. I headed straight to the kitchen.
Poured a quarter of water into a small mug, mixes it with two tablespoon of organic honey and then a tablespoon of the cough drop that Tiffany was supposed to take, giving it a good stir, I clapped my own hands and went to one of the cupboard, opening the door as I tip on my toes to reach out for the jar hidden a bit deeper than I thought it would, but at least I manage to get it.
I sat beside her, she obviously knows my presence but as usual, she pretend she didn't.
It's a cute move.
"Hey~" I let the side of the mug pressed against her arm.
"Go away...I'm a childish person" she snaps.
I giggles.
"Well, I am no different either, look what I did-"
Luckily, she did, she looks at the mug, while my left hand holds out a pink strawberry candy sitting on my palm, her eyes immediately twinkles at the sight of the color pink, she and her crazy obsession towards that color, I wonder if I should even dye myself in that color so she couldn't resist me.
"Honey with the cough drops, drink it in one gulp and you'll be rewarded with this piece of candy"
"And what if I don't"
"Then I won't kiss you no matter how much I want to"
"That's a blackmail!"
I shrug my shoulders, "Think of all the goodies you get when you drink it" I smiled.
I watch her hesitation, but nevertheless, she reaches out to snatch the mug and drank it all in one painful gulp, as she did, I already unwrap the wrapper of the candy, we exchange the mug and candy. She quickly pops the candy in her mouth, hoping it would carries the bitter taste away.
"Okay"
I get myself up, but she held my wrist.
"Where's my kiss"
I smile at the request, bend my body a bit so we could share a small peck on the lips.
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How can I have so many flashbacks in awhile...why would I think about the past so much?
I look at the empty side of my bed at the other side, it used to be occupied by her, I can never deny the fact that things are different now, am I the one changing or was it our love? No...I still love her the same, but is just that...I don't know....
I sighs out.
How can I put the right words for my feelings now? I don't even really know what I am feeling right now....
Tiffany walk into the room with a tender bright smile, like always, I smile back a bit, giving the best I could, she sat at the edge of the bed, turning her head to the left a bit to look at me.
"Why are you still hiding yourself in the room, Tae?"
Though...that news was nothing but a hoax, but only we knew about it, for maybe that's why, I felt different about our relationship? It used to be TaeNy but now...the news claimed that she belongs to him openly. Why can't people stop being so judgmental and accept the fact that when two souls are in love so deeply that it made them think that God has made them as a pair when He sent them to earth, just as what it is...
I watch as she becomes quiet, she looks at her own fingers, her hands resting on her lap, I will have to admit, I changed the most when the news came out, I don't expose myself anymore as much as I usually does, I single myself out at any possible given chances, I may have, just maybe, have tried to distance myself from Tiffany. I sighs quietly, I want to reach out and claim those hands in mine, telling her things are okay, but I can't, when things are definitely not okay, especially right now, the last thing I would ever want to do is to force myself to pretend that everything is alright for me because is not. It will just hurt her even more when she finds out about me pretending.
"I've made some simple ramen...come on out and eat" she gets up on her feet, offering her right hand to me, trying so hard...so hard that her eyes started tearing up as she tries to be bubbly. I reaches out and took the hand that she offers, but not to pull myself up and out of bed, but pulling her onto bed instead. I don't give a damn if she hits me so hard on the impact for the sudden pulling that I did with all force, I landed my back on bed, while her chest was against mine, being on top.
Look at the face, those big shock eyes wandering around with curiosity of why I did so. So cute... I let my other hand reaches out to touch her cheek softly while my other that pulled her down, remained holding hers, but being placed at our chest, where we could feel each other hearts beating so hard, thumping at against each other's chest.
"Tae~~"
Her breathing was uneven when she calls my name out, oh boy, I know what that shows...a sign of questioning what's next...to be exact, if I'm not mistaken, we haven't have sex ever since the month of April. How weird, I wasn't even craving for it. It made me chuckle, I brought our hands up that were on our chest up to my lips as I kisses her knuckles before letting the knuckles just stay there pressing up against my lips as I closed my eyes for just a few seconds.
She waited for my response, my next step.
When I open my eyes, all I see is hers, staring back at mine.
Lust..
Love..
Questions..
Wanting..
Needs..
Touch..
Lips..
I shook my head with a smile plastered on my face, receiving a cute disappointing grunt coming from the girl on top with me, which is unusual in this situation, I don't remember letting her being on top of me so often, a few times in occasions maybe, but that's it, I dominates, I am on top.
"Don't you miss...me?" she looks at me questioningly.
I smile before nodding my head as I admit it shyly, when it comes to her, I can become shy...there's just no explanation for that.
".....my body?" she blush at her question while I smirk in surprised, she grunts again, trying to get off from me but no, I'm not going to let her to, "Tae...this is embarrassing...let me go" she pleaded cutely.
My left leg slowly slide its foot across the bed underneath us as my knee goes into a bending position, resulting my thigh being in between her middle, she gasps at the contact.
"All part. Tiffany. Very much" I answer softly in my deeper voice, it made her snap out from her embarrassing moment as she looks at me passionately.
"But..." she looks away, almost in the most disappointing expression I have ever seen from her, "We're not going to, right..."
I feel sorry, not because we can't have sex, not because I have no feeling to do so, not because I disappoint her, but to myself that I can't bring myself to that but of course, again, I have no direct answer for this kind of thoughts.
I watch as she closes her eyes, with this, I took my advantage and flip her over onto her back, her turn to be underneath of me, she look at me with another surprising look from her eyes. Not taking my eyes of hers, I let my right hand travel down from the side of her body, my thumb gently bypassing the shape of the side of her breast, her eyes not taking off from mine either, it was filled with curiosity, within seconds, my thumb were brushing pass her pelvic, I stroke her middle, where the stitches of on the front of the cotton pants was, enough to trigger her most sensitive part. A part where not everyone can goes there, no one but me, as far as I remember, as far as I've asked her. I trust her. She doesn't trust anyone just like that. Anyone but me.
"Believe me..." I sighs, as I decide enough is enough, not wanting to lead her furthermore, especially for herself to finish herself, I do not want her to pleasure herself off, my thumb left her centre, I let my hand travel back upwards, resting there around her waist, I give her a few gentle squeeze. Smiling to her genuinely.
"Then why not?" she looks at me in the eyes.
"Really...do you have to?" I pull myself away as I sit on the bed.
She sat up as well, hugging me from the side, her chin resting on the right side of my shoulder blade.
"I have to....the truth"
I sighs, mentally scolding myself and her for even coming to this part, "I don't want to...stop half way because my mind interrupts me..."
"Like?"
"A part of me, still can't accept the news" I tried to look at her but I decide not to in the end.
Tiffany smiles a bit, she kisses my cheek from the side, I look at her, this time, is my turn to be puzzled, "You know, when you're thinking so hard, acting so manly, you're kind of sexy...?"
I smirk to myself at my silly girlfriend's statement and quote of the day for this morning, "Really? It turns you on then?"
"Maybe?" she chuckles.
I grab her hand with mine, bringing it to my lips, kissing the knuckles again, "Love you"
"Love you even more" she replied.
*****
"Come on, Tae, I'm tired..." she drags me passed across the other idols, hand in hand, some tried to greet us, but seemingly, she could even care a bit about it, as she makes herself and me trailing behind her zipping across the crowded hallway, going out to the back of the exit entrance where our vans are awaiting for us.
It's me, Tiffany, Sunny and Yoona sharing a vellfire today. They were already standing there since...when?
Sunny looks at me with a disapproving look on her face, I wonder what happened, did I missed something out? I stood in between Tiffany on the right while Sunny on my left as we waited for our manager to unlock the vellfire door.
"You're dead"
A whisper coming from the left side of my ear made me shiver for awhile there, "huh?" I look at Sunny questioningly, but she shook her head as her eyes widen, looking at somewhere- not me, I turn my head to only find Tiffany already lean forward to look at us. Sunny's expression change into a forceful awkward happy bunny fake smile kind of expression, shaking her head and pretended to yawn. Before I could further interrogate Sunny with some eye contact, our manager came, unlocking the vellfire.
Yoona took a step on the sliding open door, ready to go inside of the vellfire.
Tiffany cleared her throat, "Backseat, I would like to catch some sleep on the way back"
"But-" Yoona tried to reason with Tiffany, I can see, but I also caught Sunny's hand secretly finds its way to grab Yoona's arm. I look at Sunny for that kind of reaction she is giving to Yoona, I really wonder-
Tiffany already dragged me into the backseat, the furthest seat in the vellfire, in the dark, she climb in and pulled me next to her, okay...such weird atmosphere...is she angry or something? Did she argue with Sunny?
"Do you know what is on my mind now?" she ask in the dark, but I can see her facing out of the window, away from me, but her hand still holding mine, just a bit tighter now I realizes.
"No. But I can feel that you're feeling...unhappy?"
"Unhappy. Yes"
Oh. So, I was right...they did argue.
"How does her butt felt?"
..wait-what!??!
Tiffany turns her face away from the window, now looking at me with her darkest expression and somehow, some part of me in the heart wished she didn't. "Are you going to continue to play stupid? Huh, Kim Tae Yeon?? Grabbing my hand out in public, made my heart leap but running to another girl next, hugging her and groping her ass" she hissed.
"I.." I don't know what to say about that, is not like I did that on purpose to Noeul, is just that we've been friends for 2 years now, she's a great girl, so ambitious and all, really bubbly, but what fans and fany need to understand is that, we're nothing more than just being friends, of course, duh-
"Fuck it" she blurted out, softly, but I heard it.
I felt her hand that was holding mine, loosening, do not panic Kim Tae Yeon...do not- fuck that! "Fany-ahhh! Is not what you thi-"
All I felt was myself jerking to the side, closer to her, she grabs me by the shoulder, I was leaning halfway sideway towards her, and then, that's where I find no words to be said when she lightly panted against the entrance of my ear and she sighed, I could feel the air from her nostril hitting against my ear, something wet and soft caress my earlobe, then my earlobe is in between something, her teeth, tugging it softly but firmly. Oh God~~~
"You're MINE" she claims dominantly as her teeth slowly lets go off my earlobe, giving it a gently suck in between her lips.
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