Lost In Stereo (Sequel To Yours To Hold) [COMPLETED] {3}

Chapter 93

Chapter 93

BAILEY'S POV

*Three Months Later*

It's been three months since we lost Michael. Onyx and I still live with my parents because I'm not ready to leave my parents, especially after loosing my child. The bands still taking a break too, I'm just not ready to do almost anything again. Not only did I loose my child, but I lost the ability to have children all together.

I'll never be like my siblings. They can have their own children whenever they want, their own lesh and blood. But, I'm stuck here, facing the choice of either having to adopt or get a surrogate or, just don't have kids all together. I've been contemplating that ever since the day I lost I Michael, my only options.

Onyx has rarely left my side, which is one of the reasons I love him and agreed to marry him. He feels how heartbroken I am and stays strong for me even though he's about as heart broken as me.

My parents are being so caring and symapthetic. They bring us our food and make sure we're okay and we have everything we need. They know the pain of loosing a child, they lost Brian all those years ago. I think this brought up some memories, especially for my mom, for the first few days, she had puffy eyes and I could sometimes hear her crying. Even though they know our pain, this is worse. My parents already had three children, they lost Brian due to complications which they knew from the start since my mom was in her forties. We lost Michael, our first son, because I'm unable to have children.

"Bailey, let's go. You look beautiful, everyone's downstairs." Onyx said, peeking his head in the door. My sister wanted to talk to everyone for some reason so everyone was at our house. They were all waiting for me. I pulled my shirt down a bit, took a deep breath and walked down the stairs with Onyx. Blade smiled at me and hugged me tightly, allowing me to sit down. I  sat down and didn't talk to anyone, I was afraid that if I talkedto someone, they would say something that would make me burst into tears. Onyx sat down next to me and hugged me, kissing my cheek.

"Alright everyone, we have an announcement." Blade said with a smile as her and Gabe stood at the front of the room. "We're pregnant!" She exclaimed. I threw Onyx's arms off of me and ran up the stairs.

"Bailey! Wait!" My mom called.

"Bailey!" I heard Blade yell after me.

"Bailey!" Onyx tried.

"Bailey Addison Biersack!" My dad shouted. I just ignored them and went straight to my room, locking the door and collapsing on my bed in tears. This wasn't fair, it just wasn't fair. I heard footsteps on the stairs and banging on my door as somone jiggled the handle. They all called my name, the voices were jumbled so I couldn't tell who was who. I heard someone telling everyone to go away and heard mumbles as there were slow footsteps, down the stairs.

"Bailey, can I come in? It's just me." I heard Blade's voice. I got up and unlocked the door before getting back on my bed.

"Fine." I sighed, hearing the door open and close. I felt my bed sink and a hand rubbing my back.

"Bailey, please look at me." Blade's voice was soft and caring, but I just couldn't look at her. Don't get me wrong, I was happy for her, but I was envious at the same time. "Bailey, I know how you feel."

"No you don't." I said, my voice monotone and muffled by the pillow.

"W-What?"

"I said no you don't." I said, sitting up and glaring at her. "You don;t fucking know how I feel Blade! You have Blake and now you're having a second child. You've never lost a child. Brandon doesn't know how I feel. He has Camryn and Danielle, he's neve rlost a child! The only people remotley close to my feelings are Onyx, mom and dad. Onyx knows how I feel because he has to suffer through this with me. Mom and dad know how I feel because they lost Brian! But, even they can't understand how I feel! You just don't fucking understand Blade! This was my first child and I lost him, then I find out I can't even fucking have children!" I said, staring at her, breathing heavily from my rant.

"I-I-I-"

"Yeah, you don't know what to say, it's fine because there is nothing to say. You can't bring back Michael and you can't give me the ability to have children, so just shut the fuck up and leave me alone."

"Bailey, please listen to me."

"No, I'm done!"

"Bailey." Blade pleaded and I looked at her. "I don't want you to be mad at me." I sighed.

"I'm not mad at you Blade. I'm happy for you, I'm excited to get a new niece or nephew, I just have a lot of envy. It's just not fair, I can never be like you or Brandon. Yeah, I can do adoption or surrogacy, but I want to carry my child, I want that special bond that is created!"

"Bailey, it's okay." Blade said, hugging me.

"It's not fair Blade." I cried.

"I know Bailey, everything's going to be okay, I promise you." She said, rocking us back and forth a bit. "Besides, you don't want to be pregnant Bailey. The cravings, the mood swings, the morning sickness, the sleepless nights, the weight gain, the uncomfortableness. Plus the pain of actually giving birth, you're not missing much Bailey." She said and I shrugged.

"I think I'm ready to go back down." She smiled at me and I smiled back.

"Good." She said as we stood up and she wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

"So, how far are you?" I asked.

"Two months." She answered, holding up two fingers as we walked down the stairs.

"Awesome." I said with a smile as we walked back over to where everyone was gathered. Onyx wrapped me in his arms, kissing my cheek.

"Are you okay?" He asked, still hugging me.

"I'm fine Onyx." I said, kissing his shoulder. Onyx and I sat back down while Blade began to answer questions.

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Awww Bailey but yay Blade!

Listening to Another One Bites The Dust~ Queen

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